So my (first grade) daughter has many things that come easy to her: large vocabulary, early ability to read, great memory, cognitively puts ideas together well, etc.

Writing and drawing are more difficult. She's really bad. The other day her art teacher taught her how to draw a house, you know a square with a triangle roof. And it's not like she hasn't been taught before. Everything she draws looks like scribbles. And she doesn't mind. She has stories for them. I don't know whether it is because she starts with an idea too big to draw or if she gets the idea in order to avoid drawing. What I do know is that her motor planning is much worse than motor skills (which are bad). She's slow. She takes many repetitions to learn to draw/write correctly. Way more than any reasonable teacher can offer consistently in a class of 26. She sees an OT who takes things slowly for her. There's no work on letter or numbers with her there. They're working on core strength, task switching and coordination.

She's a big people pleaser, gets embarrassed easily, has perfectionist tendencies, and has had really bad experiences in school because she is seen as poorly behaved in these areas where she struggles (too slow=not following directions, drawing avoidance=not following rules, etc.) She does have an excellent teacher this year, but she still hasn't put the past behind her.

But she needs to TRY harder at this writing and drawing stuff. She really does. But there is so much bad experience and negativity wrapped up in all of it that I feel like I am walking on eggshells. At the same time, I don't want her to try to be perfect. That's a big monster to beat too.

So how do you define "trying hard" to a seven year old who doesn't seem to know what it means while making her feel positive about herself and while not demanding perfection?

Is there a way to show her what "achievement" looks like while keeping my hands off her work and letting her be her own person? She's not good at knowing what people want and then giving them that. She just does her own thing, which is good. And not good.

Any strategies or ideas?

Thanks!