Wow! You have just described exactly what we have been through.
I am determined to figure out what the disconnect is also.
My current working theory is that you and I ( and people like us) are examining it and analyzing the situation from our 'brain view.' The people working in the District that we have met so far, surrounding the elementary process (yes, elementary is the right description, Sheesh!) see everything differently from us.
So, please do not feel that it is just you. You are not alone. I have been following this in our District for a while now and the townspeople today are experiencing the same treatment that the gifted families received in the past (children who have already graduated from the High School).
And, to continue with my theory, think of it like this. Our brains are automatically processing 'How we would handle it if we were in that position.' The truth is that the gifted / highly gifted people are not the ones in those positions. They have no idea, no first-hand experience, they have not been through it. For one thing, a truly gifted person would never treat gifted families that way. Just the opposite, a very gifted person would not rest until every gifted child was treated unbelievably well.
The theory is that what we are seeing around this process is one form of random chaos, it is not really being controlled by any one person. No one is conducting the symphony so to speak. So we hear this discord and we cannot believe it because we order the world a different way in order to have human achievement. They are merely doing the best they can. It is not your best. It is not my best.
That is why, as an example, some surgeons have never been sued, some surgeons have never lost a lawsuit, some doctors never win a lawsuit and some doctors get sent to jail. They are all in different categories, different 'brains. No one that I have found though has published what explains it. And, it may be too controversial to publish even if they had it figured out.
Hang in there. You are not the only family going through this.
