Hi! I agree that many public schools may not be equipped (at first) for 2E/GT, but if your son has an IEP, I would make a few recommendations:
1.)focus on his educational needs in the IEP - even if the school says he doesn't need it b/c so many kids need more educational facilitation than him. Needs are needs based on the IDEA law & regs. It doesn't matter if some of his organization or other issues/skills are like the other kids. The IEP is an INDIVIDUALIZED education plan.
2) If you don't agree - kindly don't agree - verbally and in writing. It is tough to challenge or debate school staff - but you know your child more than they do. Plus, I have never heard of any school saying "yes, you are right" the first time. It is like the "no problem" is the automatic first statement.
Many times, the staff made it sound like things were in no way possible. But, being a bit of a doubter, I disagreed verbally - and at times, in writing. (Or provided partial consent: "I consent to secure eligibility/services, but I disagree with the current IEP goals." I suspect you will be AMAZED what happens after you disagree, because some school districts instruct the staff to make the adjustments to get agreement. A family member who is a lawyer told me, "it doesn't exist unless it is in writing." If you disagree - the school has to provide you a Prior Written Notice to explain why they will not go with your disagreement. Many don't want to do that. If it doesn't reflect your disagreement, make sure you appeal through the process that should be found on the PWN letter.
3) Get the outside psych, doctor, advocate, grandparent, or anyone who you feel can speak up for you. Let them be the "bad cop" and allow you to be the "good cop." The school is required to have the IEP Team reach an agreement, so make sure there is more than you at the meeting, and someone who can professionally and in a nice but firm way - call it as it is.
While the school will see your son come and go, you will be living with the outcome for a long time - whether they taught him the skills he needs or not. There are not many other public areas to get help for 2E - so this is where you need to advocate for him. The school will not, and they will try to explain why it should be "x" instead of "z" - but they cannot do it unless the PARENT AGREES.
Stay strong and know YOU have more say than you think you do. Good luck!