How do you know she feels different? Has she told you this, or are you seeing it in her behavior? What does she say about it? Are there any other explanations for what you're seeing/hearing? Is it possible you're attributing feelings that she doesn't have to what you're seeing/hearing?
I'm not saying she doesn't feel that she's different. I know your DD tends to try to fit in, and that may suggest that she recognizes her differences and is ashamed of them. But to avoid putting thoughts in her head that she might not yet have, I want to suggest that you might want to be sure that you're not projecting what you see onto her. You may see her as different, but she may not yet recognize her difference in the way that you're thinking she does, especially if she hasn't talked about it with you.
Have you celebrated her difference with her? She may be a kid who needs a little healthy bragging from you to feel good about her abilities. That would be social death for some kids who already think too highly of themselves, but if your DD is feeling out of place, then talking her up to herself might be what she needs to feel better about herself. I'd just be sure to praise effort, not just ability or outcome. Specific praise is also good, rather than universals.
But I could certainly be wrong...
Hi Kriston,
I know she feels different because I asked her some time ago, but I think you may have a big point in that I project part of myself into her. I think I am partially dealing with my own unresolved issues about feeling 'different' and never knowing why.
About the bragging... I think I will take the opportunity when I am in Spain because there it is socially more accepted. Here... definitively not!
Well, I can always brag to my Mom when I speak to her by phone...
