DS9, grade 3, at a local "A" grade elem school. Today, I participated in his IEP meeting for his occupational therapy for fine motor skills, motor planning, etc.

As background, he got a letter home this spring that he was not meeting grade level standards for punctuation, spelling, and capitalization in his writing. Even though he has horrible handwriting, and struggles over every word, they had basically done nothing other than have him write to determine whether he knew caps/punc/spelling. Couldn't they think of another method for assessing him on this knowledge without making him handwrite? Couldn't they think of another way of teaching this skill other than the Teacher's College writer's workshop model?
I'm thinking of all of those old multiple choice drills in the grammar textbooks of my youth.

Based on advice from here, it seems appropriate to ask the school to include teaching keyboarding in his IEP and to provide alternative methods of teaching and testing punc/cap/spelling. (He actually spells very well on plain old spelling tests, where he just has to write one word at a time.) So, I asked for it at the meeting. The school psychologist said "this is the OT IEP, and we can't include that here." and "That sort of thing with the classroom teacher never goes in the IEP." and "You need to request an evaluation for assistive technology and you can do that next year." and "Why don't you try teaching this at home?"

When I got emotional about it (I cried, unfortunately, when I got to the point of discussing the effect of horrible handwriting in those 4th grade state exams, whose scores are used for middle school entrance requirements, so I just seemed hysterical about middle school admissions) , the school psychologist said that perhaps I should stop trying to "perfect my child" and just let him be. I said, I'm not trying to insist on perfection from my child, I'm trying to help him. I am insisting that you do a better job. That's my role as a parent, to ask for everything my child needs, and to demand and be insistent. I\'m not asking more of HIM, I'm asking more of YOU. He is struggling with this one aspect of school, to the point he is not meeting grade level standards and he needs help. Merely talking about what he needs will not be enough to keep the classroom teacher on track next year and without accountability, none of this will happen. If nothing is set in stone, then all plans about accommodation will just fall by the wayside when the teacher is confronting a huge class of students. My tone of voice was mmm adamant, let's say. And I really said all of the above. It may have been perceived as a rant. smile

The psych also asked questions like "What do you want him to be?" that I think were totally an effort to sidetrack me and make it appear as though I was unhappy with him and feeling the need to mould him in some way. My answer "Happy with who he is and what he is doing!"

The participants at today's IEP all assured me that DS was going to do just great, because he wouldn't need good handwriting to take the NYC specialized high schools entrance exam! (What about developing a capacity to express his thoughts on paper? That seems important, too?)

As an added bonus, before this year's teacher left the IEP conference (before the fireworks), he said that DS has some strengths and weaknesses. He is an advanced reader and above-level in math, but.... has only a superficial level of understanding of "these physics text books he's picked up." It was a college text book that DS was taking to and from school to learn how nuclear reactors work, what the theory of relativity was about, etc. I think he gleaned a lot from it, but certainly not enough to pass that Physics 101 exam. His teacher was so right! And so totally irrelevant to whether or not he needs additional OT services or keyboarding.

(He got an adjustment in OT, but no keyboarding and no info on IEP on classroom accommodations or strategies. Is it really true this can't go on an IEP, or can't go on an OT IEP?

I think the teacher's comment is just setting the ground for the next meeting with the same set of people, plus the principal, when we consider a grade skip for math. I can see it now: "He's bright enough, but he has only a surface-level understanding of that college physics text."

I've tried to be rational and cool, and crying just did not help DS's case.

On the bright side, his OT is fabulous and really gets him, his frustration with his inability to express himself in writing, his perfectionism, etc. She was great at the meeting, but just looked around awkwardly when I cried. She deferred to the school psych's judgment that keyboarding/in-class modifications didn't go on the IEP.

Everyone at the meeting was different from the first. The school has a new psych, new OT, new special ed teacher.

I already had an idea that the new psych was not very truthful. Another mom told me that her son at the school, with significant reading delays, was evaluated at the mom's request. At the IEP meeting for her son, they determined no services were necessary, no learning disability was found, and told her that the Dept of Ed had a policy of not disclosing achievement test and IQ scores to parents because it was counterproductive! This is NOT true. I got all of DS's test scores last year, and if you test for G&T this year, you are sent your child's results. She also asked what steps she should take if she andher dh decided they weren't happy with this decision. Not a single person on the IEP team could tell her what her next steps were. (Yeah, right, I'm sure they have NOOO idea!)

I mean to vent, and instead I'm asking questions and just generally rambling.

Anyway, can you give me reassurance that I didn't come across as psycho crying mom? Or if I did, how to overcome or take full advantage of my new rep?

bk