Each year for DD8 has been the same battle but over different grounds, so...
K: Our DD's kindergarten year at school was a disaster. The only differentiation offered came at the expense of social interaction, as she was sent off to a corner to work on separate work while the rest of the class did a group activity. DD started pretending not to know things so she could be part of the group. Advocacy eventually resulted in DD attending a 1st-grade class for ELA, also gained her access to library books above K-level. Boredom and frustration during the day was contained by behavior-perfectionist DD, then boiled over at home, with emotional outbursts escalating to self-harm.
We argued for a grade skip, to no avail. The school offered DD screening for gifted, but to access the program at age 5, the bar was set very high: 99.5th percentile on test of cognitive ability. Failure to hit the mark would bar her from re-screening until after a full calendar year.
Solution: Homeschooling.
First: We had DD screened for the gifted program following her sixth birthday, when the bar is significantly lower, and she qualified easily (but validated our previous concerns, as she hit 99th percentile on cognitive ability) This included a pull-out for ELA and math, with the rest of her day on grade level... with some differentiation offered, which was very inconsistent. The pull-out was a mess, as the class was 1 first grader (DD), 1 2nd grader, and 6 3rd graders, all taught at the same level (the 3rd graders). DD felt torn between two worlds in which she did not belong... a homeroom in which she was too smart, and a GT pull-out in which she was too stupid.
We renewed our push for a full-year acceleration, in addition to gifted services. We sought expert help from a psychologist, and from the district offices. Again, no avail. We encountered a district-wide culture strictly against the idea of acceleration.
Solution: None. DD stuck it out with significant support from home. Emotional issues were less than the year before, and DD was committed to sticking it out for social reasons. Some improvement was noted mid-year, when the school hired another G/T teacher who did true differentiation, and assigned her the grade 1-3 class, so DD got to work on her level for part of the day.
Second: G/T program was split between the two teachers, where DD had ELA with one, math with the other. Home room teacher refused to entertain any ideas of differentiation for DD. That part of her day was wildly inappropriate. Emotional deterioration similar to K-year was noted.
Solution: Homeschool - with a twist. This time, we registered her with the state as a 3rd grader. DW caught her up on 2nd grade, then taught her the full 3rd grade curriculum. DW noted she had to slow DD down with multiple review segments and breaks to keep her from racing too far ahead of the goal. Near the end of the year, DD was administered the state achievement test for 3rd graders (iLEAP) and the SB-10 achievement test, and passed both with flying colors.
Fourth: The school accepted DD and the grade skip with no arguments. The G/T pull-outs increased in minutes, but are otherwise similar. DD has more kids her own grade in the pull-outs now, so she fits in better, and there's more instruction at her level. She is being pushed to achieve there. The home room situation is still too slow and boring, but it's a smaller portion of her day.
The one problem that did show up is that her pull-outs cause her to miss a lot of social studies and science instruction in the classroom. We arranged to have copies of the textbooks for home use, and we provide our own instruction, which seems to have solved that problem.
DD has also been encouraged to let loose of her behavioral perfectionism, and she's now blowing off steam at school through goofing off with her peers, rather than boiling over at home.
