This is a tough issue. My kids are 5 years apart, both girls, now 18 and 23. The 18 year old is PG; the 23 year old is fairly bright, but stronger in people skills than academically. The older one has been jealous through the years, it seems like more recently. It has driven her to work very, very hard in college to prove that "I am smart, too!" (as she says). She graduated Phi Beta Kappa last year, so that hard work really paid off. But it still requires much more effort for her to achieve things than for her sister.
I tell her that her (seemingly effortless) touch with people is a huge asset as well, but I think she still feels slighted. Her dad (divorced) offered to pay some of the younger one's college expenses for the next four years when he did not pay a penny for the older one. The older one is angry at her dad, thinks he did not think her college was "worth paying for". Note that I helped her pay for college, so she did not come out with any debt (so there is not a difference there at least). Their grandparents have also offered money for the younger one's college, which I will not be accepting (and have not told either kid about). So... my older kid is not wrong. There are unequal expectations and treatment of the two of them.
The older one has a great job, recently got promoted, and honestly may enjoy more professional success in her life than the younger. So... maybe this will fade later in life? It isn't interfering with family dynamics on a day-to-day level, thankfully. And I think neither kid would trade their IQ/people skill combo for the other sibling's.
Last edited by intparent; 06/02/13 12:58 PM.
