DS 7 seems to attract the most comments in elevators or waiting for things when people overhear our conversations - it used to be about the books he was reading but now the comments are all about his vocabulary and the "big words" DS is using (insert overly cutsey parent voice here). I have never pushed DS to respond to strangers beyond what is polite, although sometimes he is just silent in response to their questions. And I am fine with that because its clear he is responding to some vibe from the adult and I want to encourage that, I want him to trust his gut that some nice looking people may not be nice and to not engage.
I had trouble with the he is so bright comments, so I would say yes or thank you and leave it at that. At about 4, DS would say, yes and I read a lot too. Or something like that. I let it go. The I am so smart comments wasn't a problem until he used it with kids when meeting new ones - and then we had to have conversations about how it wasn't necessary to lead with, how it then makes the kids say prove it and you have to act like a trained duck, and that its just rude and braggy.
But then again, 3-5 is also the age when the really bright kid stands out and is remarked upon, and I started changing my comments with other parents to emphasize what DS wasn't doing in order to fit in with the other parents - until I realized DS was listening. So I changed my tune to talk about accomplishments when asked, but to not elaborate unless encouraged by the strength of the relationship, and I feel this works well for settings like in elevators - simple thank you suffices. If DS wants to chat he will, if he doesn't that is fine with me.
DeHe
