moomin, this is by far the most difficult part of an assessment process - you have a tidbit of information from the evaluator, but not the full picture. I'd try to take it in stride, think of how it applies to your dd, but also not overthink it until the neuropsych has put together his/her report and you have a chance to meet with the neuropsych to discuss.
This is also just something to throw out there - have you ever taken a few minutes to write down and compare/contrast the situations where your dd loses control & has social challenges? List everything you can about the environment at the time - how many people, outside/inside, noise level, lighting, what was going on, what your dd did before she was there etc... plus specifics about her behavior. Look for anything that seems to be a common thread. Note - this may seem silly and you may think you have a good idea of common ties etc in your head without writing it out, but I'm wondering if maybe there's something else really "out there" going on that you haven't quite stumbled onto yet. This is just an example - not related to your dd at all, but an example of the type of thinking-about-the-situations - my dd who presented as extremely sensory and occasionally severely anxious when she was around 4-5 years old (so anxious we couldn't get her to go into crowded rooms or any kind of new situation)... also has food allergies. We knew that, and we had that under control. What we didn't know was that she had mold allergies - severe. But we weren't looking for that. We knew she was a sensory kid, she likes to move A LOT, etc. We eventually discovered the mold allergy when she had a severe reaction to having dirt sprayed across her face on the playground at preschool during mold season - and her allergy dr figured out that she needed to be tested for mold. BUT when we looked back over the journal we were keeping of behaviors etc, trying to figure out why she was having such a tough time in new situations... the places where she had trouble were old buildings, closed in spaces that didn't smell right, things like that. Places that most likely had mold issues.
Our same dd, when she was younger, and having allergic reactions to food, never said something obvious like "My stomach hurts" - instead she screamed - like the world was ending. She too was almost kicked out of a preschool because of her behavior, and the preschool teachers were very concerned about her thinking she had to be either deaf or cognitively challenged because of the way she screamed and wasn't compliant. We thought the problem was the teachers. Eventually we figured out that the bad behaviors and inability to cope were inevitably occurring 20 minutes after lunch... when she was drinking a ton of milk and eating cheese because those were her favorite foods - this was happening before we found out she was allergic to dairy. So she was screaming, acting perhaps even psychotic after lunch... because her stomach hurt. We would get called to come get her, we'd take her home, and she'd be fine - because the adverse reaction was over by then.
Anyway, I'm not suggesting your dd has allergies! Just suggesting that perhaps there's something that's adversely impacting her, that she can't communicate to you or doesn't know how to communicate to you or simply doesn't connect the dots herself enough yet to see the connection... and that it might be clearer if you start tracking the places/times/etc surrounding her behaviors.
Best wishes,
polarbear
