He is also a quiet focused type when it comes to learning in the classroom. He would often comment after school that it bothered him if kids his age were not obeying the 1st grade rules. He has an older brother (less than 2 years) and often spends time with older kids. In Kinder, he really enjoyed one-on-one playdates with the extroverted "leader" kids, but was too quiet to enjoy their company during busy school days when he was happy to focus on learning.
From my observations (and also having an energetic, extroverted older sibling) is that he prefers to form deep relationships outside of school. He really seems to regard school as a work environment- he wants to be challenged and focus his energy into learning new skills. When that need isn't met, we hear many cries and complaints. If you DS asks for playdates outside of school, I would take that as a reflection of his personality. Maybe he is just more introverted and better on forming deeper relationships one-on-one.
I always watch the boys interact when I volunteer at school and there is quite a bit of jockeying for position- whatever the activity. I think some HG kids are just outside observers of that activity and understand at an early age that it is not necessary for their sense of self. His need for challenge seems gnaw at his self-esteem rather than his need to fit in with kids his age.
Luckily- DS6 is tall for his age and only "off" by 6-8 months from his youngest/ oldest peers. I'm hoping that in 2nd grade, they are still pretty accepting and he will feel less out of place. I think some playdates at the new school will help smooth any major hiccups!
