But it's not just about the bully issue- though this had gotten extreme. It's about the toxic environment where there is no transparency in how decisions are made so people get on edge and they jockey for position against each other instead of working together as a team. Parents are cajoled to volunteer and then left hanging and blamed when they don't know what they are doing. Fortunately, I've been around swimming enough to feel like a "part of the solution" but still it upsets me to see people treated that way.
I just can't believe I fell for it.
Having just raised a son, now 19 and having another age 14 at home with the eldest being highly competitive in soccer and the youngest deeply involved in music. I'll give my perspective considering their experiences in relationship to the quote above.
My eldest son was on a couple of different soccer clubs including a regionally competitive one. He did extremely well, however, after the typical elementary school / middle school / early HS experiences and in MS / HS club soccer, he came to the conclusion that he'd only been on one team in all that time that knew HOW to be a team, meaning, support each other on and off the field and help each other to each person's potential. With that in mind he'd finally had enough and decided it wasn't worth the frustration, instead, he chose an athletic endeavor he could pursue on his own.
DS#2 currently 14 on the other hand was blessed to be in the most gentle of classes, genuinely sweet kids with not a bully apparently in the class (unusual I know) All the kids seem to celebrate each other's victories and take great joy in group accomplishments.
In both of those scenarios, you could read what the kid would be inclined to display simply by talking to the child's parents of course.
I've become very discouraged the majority of the time not only with the attitude of many parents but the lack of effort on the part of coaches not not just teach but DEMAND with threat of severe ramifications that team members treat each other with not only respect and dignity but also insist that team members work to better each other and support each other on and off the area of athletic endeavor. It seems that either coaches think that effort unattainable or they simply don't get it that even a team of average ability can often out perform a team of greater ability in many instances if it's members are constantly out for the improvement and support of each other.
Now days I don't spend too much time with my kids involved in any team / group that doesn't understand the purpose and theory of team success. I've found it to be wasted time and effort always resulting in far more frustration, damage, and torment than it's worth.
When you DO find a team and a coach that understands the meaning of a team and it's purpose, support them greatly and sing their praises, it's a rare find these days.
