Thank you for all the replies. It is good to hear that someone else's child has/is doing this and that it is getting better. I also do think over stimulation and not feeling well do influence whether she's going to be a sweet protector or an attacker. The more I think about her violent play/language, the more I think it is like an eight year old boy playing war, but her comprehension is probably different than an eight year old boy, and most definitely different than an adult's. The attacks are the most worrisome. Part of me wants to get her in now, and part of me wants to journal her behavior for a couple weeks so that I have something more helpful than, "Yes, my daughter is an angel in your office. She's a random terror at home." I think a journal might help show if there are patterns. I hadn't thought about food influencing her behavior. I am also wondering if she'll get better come school or worse.
DS isn't left alone with her usually- the smothering instance was when Dh tried to use the bathroom without kids. I am wistful for a day when I can pee alone.
