I really concur with the author quoted in the article.
This echoes my own experiences, though I never really "quit" music early, by any means. I played occasionally even into college, though working full time while majoring in science left me exactly zero time to play in an ensemble, and then I had a spouse (the beta version) that hated me playing, so I didn't... I still have my instrument-- the one that my parents bought on installment payments when I was an awkward 10 year old. It's in need of a re-pad, but honestly... for being almost forty years old, it's in remarkable condition, and for not having played more than two hours in the last twenty years, my own skills aren't so shabby, either. I can still belt out the fight song from pep band and a few solos from Sousa and Vaughan Williams. Honestly, though, I have little interest in playing other than as a duet partner for DD, who plays the piano. I
liked playing the flute and piccolo, of course, and practiced pretty hard. I was good enough that I was encouraged to pursue it in college... but didn't. It's just that it was never my
obsession, musically-speaking. No,
that is the violin. My public school had no strings program, so as much as I longed to play the violin, it just wasn't in the cards for me.
My (current) spouse recently bought me the birthday gift of my
dreams; a violin. I always said that I'd take it up after DD went off to college. As a reward when I had
time to do it, I mean. Well, first I said that I'd do it when I graduated from college. Then grad school. Then once I got tenure... then once DD was in school (well, shoot-- she didn't "go" to school)... so I think that my spouse made a pretty good decision here. I oooooohed and ahhhhhed over a particular (used) specimen while purchasing concert tickets before my birthday, and he went back and bought it, much to my astonishment. LOL.
Well, I have realized something. Well, a lot of somethings, actually. But I realized that completely aside from the obvious fulfillment of my own dreams, there are some very sound reasons to do this.
1. My child NEEDS to see that I'm not perfect at everything that I try/do. She desperately needs to witness just what "applying one's self" really looks like in a HG+ person, and see the results. Yes, I've got a fair amount of musical ability naturally... but... that's no substitute for determined effort and sustained practice, either. Nor is success instantaneous.
2. Raising a 2e child and having to give up my own professional aspirations to do it has been pretty demoralizing to me as a person. I would never have bought this violin for myself-- why? Because I didn't honestly think that I could justify it. That's wrong and it's not a good example for my child, and it's not a healthy outlook on my own behalf, either. This isn't a Stradivarius or Guarneri, after all, and my interest IS serious.
3. Life is too short. Really, this sounds cheesy, I know-- but it's true. Deferring all of my wish-list to "later" is courts the risk of turning those opportunities into sad regrets instead. Some things need to be about "this is important to me and I'm just going to DO IT."
Oh, and for my fans... just a few weeks, thanks, and yes, I have a teacher lined up (but need to arrange a regular lesson time) and I'm borderline-competent in pretty much one key in first position. We're talking Twinkle-twinkle and London Bridge, here.
I'm very happy with all of that. Paganini I'm not, but... maybe someday I can play Bartok and Sarasate.
Yes, too-- utterly impractical and perhaps even frivolous-- but exactly what I need. So what if this takes an hour or so a day away from my duties as wife and mother? Maybe it's good for the other people in my life to get the message that
I am worth it. Heck-- maybe it's good for ME to get that message, too. KWIM?
