We went through the same thing with my son's preschool about them thinking he was undisciplined and spoiled. My neighbors actually laughed when we told them, because we were definitely the most disciplined, strict parents on the block. They joked, "If you give me ANY time during the day, I can tell you what your kid's doing at that moment! And at any given moment, we can look over and see your kid sitting on the front steps because he's in a time-out for poor behavior!"
My son (6-years-old) also has problems with impulsiveness, though every year it seems to improve. We also wondered if there was an ADHD problem. (Nope- normal behavior for a PG kid we were eventually told.) But the school psychologist told us he "needs more structure and discipline". I kept thinking, "How much more structure and discipline can we give a kid without being a military-style environment? And he goes to an old, traditional, all-boys school!"
Needless to say, we're also in a different school now.
Good luck!
