In reply to "I have nothing to show and did nothing spectacular", I love this.
So much of what is truly important is invisible, intangible anyway.
Often times I know I'm just piddling around without wanting to hear angel trumpets or God's voice or experience anything intensely glorious - like I normally do. Sometimes it just feels good to just sit down and just flip through a magazine - like I'm in a dentist's or doctor's waiting room, just making myself as comfortable as possible.
Doesn't it feel sometimes like you're just making yourself comfortable until it's your turn for something to happen to you? Sort of like being in some sort of limbo? Almost boring but not quite. Just comfortably waiting?
I used to feel a hoard of ants in my pants enduring those almost cruel-like pauses and inbetween moments in my life. But I've grown to cherish them and feel healed by them as an older adult. I've flexibly switched to a slower pace and I am happier for deciding to do this. I'm not feeling as driven, or dissatisfied, or as intense - and I'm not scaring or bowling people over like I used to. Maybe its because I'm post menopausal. I can stand in line, wait at a traffic light, stop what I am doing, listen to someone talk about anything and not feel annoyed or impatient. Its like everything can be interesting - even just piddling around.
I have settled down and not because I've settled for less. I settled down because there is so much more to gain in letting go of believing I need to be in control all the time, and that I am the only one that can Save the World! Like I can really do that anyway! Humpfh. How arrogant I was! To believe that I was the only one who could handle things. How dumb can a smart person be? Ha!
So herein here lies one more challenge of being 'gifted'. Because of my mistrust and experience with 'less smart' people, I did not ask for help from others hardly at all, nor did I delegate and intrust others enough to take of things -- because I believed I could do things better -- which is actually true in many incidences -- but I am humbler and do ask for help from others more now - like I do ask strangers, and neighbors and family for help - who I am surprised to see are happy to help me -- and without strings attached.
I am often amazed at how geniunely friendly and truly helpful people can be! As a result, I do feel safer in the world, less isolated, less alone. And more like a geninue and normal and common human being -- who has needs, feelings and problems like other regular folk. Being "gifted" doesn't mean being exempt from these things. Oh shucks
And hey Schaps
are you still here? What if anything are you getting out of this thread that you wonderfully started?
