Hi LouDD,
Over time I ended up changing friends rather than changing others (I've been very lucky in meeting people through various programs that attract smart families). A shame in many ways, and not easy if you don't have access to others. Even though I tend to be quite open about dd in 'real life' if I am asked directly and have to admit I don't come across many people who are openly hostile, I do come across lots of people who don't really understand why I think dd needs what she needs. I have to consciously tell myself that they aren't privy to the full story to make sure I keep advocating for dd rather than giving up (not suggesting that you're giving up - I just know that I have to stop myself worrying when I think "if I do that they're going to think I'm mad/bad mother/pain in the proverbial" etc).
It is boring and sad never to get to talk about your kid; finding people you can share with is such a relief. This site is a great start, but actual face to face contact is wonderful if you can find it - but it is hard work because, of course, not everyone is going to be your kind of person and it's a limited pool to begin with (made all the harder for me by my being extremely introverted!)
So I guess what I am saying is keep an eye out for others to share with
