Thanks DeeDee. She does well with her two close friends with imaginative and other games. In general, she has gotten very good at things like offering compliments, taking turns, asking the other person what their idea is. In groups of about 3-4 with either other bright or otherwise quirky/creative kids she does fine also.
She starts to break down in larger groups of "neuro-typical" kids and I believe at this point it's part processing/sequencing issues and part nerves from past "failures". The less supervised the situation is, the worse it is for her.
Now she'll generally go into humor/clown mode. That generally works for the moment, but then she gets upset when people don't take her seriously and say she's not smart and that shakes her up. She is also very uncoordinated and tries to joke about that but what she says when she's moved on from the situation indicates the humor was just a cover. We're working as hard as we can on that.
Her teacher called her a "goofball" which apparently was supposed to be done in an affectionate way, but I don't like it. I don’t believe it helps her get the healthiest self-image in the long run.
My friend thinks the school has "tagged" me as "an over-concerned parent" since they typically dismiss or ignore me (as in, not answering a note). I try to be very, very limited (keep it to important things) and succinct my communication. DD is very sensitive about me disapproving of or approaching her teacher. I try to respect that but don’t believe I’ve struck a good balance yet. I think the under-communicating is not beneficial just as over-communicating might be. For the most part I’ve tried and succeeded at being very polite and mature, so at least I have that to feel proud of.
I've signed up for a parent advocacy class through a parents-of-special-needs children group, a local one. They said I could come even though DD is not technically considered under any special needs umbrella at this time. The woman I spoke with totally got the 2E dilemna, which made me feel really supported.
