This is a little off the wall, but on the offchance it sounds appealing to you, I'll throw it out there. And disclaimer, we haven't experienced what your DD is experiencing.
We talked quite a bit with DS6 several years ago about different theories of what happens when you die, related to some deaths among family/friends at the time, and reincarnation was one of the things we talked about. Maybe in the course of brainstorming with your DD why she's feeling like she doesn't belong, you could bring up reincarnation and see if it helps ease her anxiety over her feelings. Perhaps her spirit is connecting to a past life right now. I don't believe (or not, really) in reincarnation, but it came to mind as an off-the-wall possibility that, depending on your DD's personality, could provide some comfort. My DS, who is more spiritual than I am, would be quite comforted by that thought if we were in your shoes.
Yes. Right after my own crying spells I launched into my "search for truth" and started reading everything I could on religion and spirituality and I'd write down interesting ideas I had about past lives or how the essence of someone might be able to stick around.
(like ghosts or in one crazy idea... the idea that the molecules that made up a person maybe changed constantly and the only thing keeping them in one shape was some sort of force (cookie-cutter esque) of that person. Which would explain the feeling of phantom limbs and such... and which would mean that perhaps the molecules making up my body at any given time were the very same ones that once made up someone elses. And that maybe those molecules "remembered" what they used to be.
Not totally a crazy idea once I learned more about chemistry...)
