I have to say, our experiences have been extremely positive overall. Admittedly, with a 2e child, it's a very different experience. But while it may seem counter-intuitive, having gotten early intervention for our son at 2, so far we haven't had much friction from the school addressing his need for higher-level work.
We know our experience isn't necessarily "typical", but then neither are any of these children. We know (in retrospect) that we were fortunate enough to start our family in what's turned out to be one of the best school districts we could have imagined, particularly for a child who has required a lot of personal attention to address both his challenges and his gifts. But again, we've talked to other parents who've had to struggle, to get a lawyer-advocate, to really push.
For us, aside from our good fortune in where we lived, I think we were able to make things easier for us by doing our homework. The teachers, administrators, and child study teams we've met with were all able to figure out very quickly that we really know our kid, his strengths and his weaknesses, and we work hard with him.
Again, I'm not saying it's easy, or that we've always gotten what we wanted. Last year in Kindergarten, we asked several times for some sort of enrichment in math. The boy can do multiplication, division, fractional conversions to decimal, and simple algebra problems in his head, so we knew he would be hopelessly bored by Kindergarten math. It took until January for the teachers to address that he was starting to act out during math because he wasn't learning anything. Ultimately, they let him play math games on the computer during math time, so he could solve problems closer to his level. It was a start.
This year, they agreed to accelerate him to 3rd grade math. So far, it's going beautifully. True, 3rd grade math still isn't really high enough to challenge him, and the teacher has already started sending us enrichment materials to keep him busy while he waits for the class to finish. But the teacher loves him, and he enjoys the bit of "specialness" attached to doing math above his grade level...and since socially he is better off spending most of the day with his age peers right now, it's a really decent compromise.
The one thing I have gently reminded the teachers when we meet, that I remember from reading "Genius Denied", is that all children have a right to learn in school, even extremely bright ones. The principal had a moment of hesitation about the 2-year math acceleration, but my wife provided her with his IQ test scores from the previous year, and she quickly signed on.
One other blessing that certainly doesn't hurt...my wife has been a stay-at-home mom, so she volunteers at the school library a few days a week as their clerk (they lost their clerk the summer before we entered the school because of the state-wide budget cuts). There's nothing wrong with a little "you scratch my back," if you're in a position to do it. The result at the moment is a school that adores our son and very much wants to keep my wife happy.
Hope this helped a bit.
