We use a calm down time. Its essentially the same as a time out, but HE can choose how long to sit there and calm himself. No closed door, no forced sitting etc. It happens in his room, on his reading beanbag and he has learnt to use that space as a safe place. there is paper and pencils for drawing and writing, his favourite books and his bed with his favourite sensory calming things. It helps for anger and those times when he cannot express himself properly.
I have also started using affirmations with Aiden to help him feel more in control of himself, and to help him understand what is happening in context. It's also helping with his perfectionism issues. We have him say the following:
1. I like challenge; challenges are good
2. It's okay to make mistakes; we learn from our mistakes
3. Mommy and Daddy love me even when I make mistakes.
It's taken two and a half months and they are finally starting to become part of his self-beliefs. It's helped with all tantrums stemming from the inability to perform at the "perfect" level. It's helped him realise that he can tackle his stressing issues like a challenge; and as he calms himself more easily each time, he feels like he is mastering himself and this new ability.
hope some of this helps...
