Hi JoJo,

Originally Posted by jojo
My frustration is a result of seeing my gorgeous girl in continuous cruise mode. She attends to all things, subjects, hobbies� superficially, just skimming across the surface. She�s not engaging, attending, really getting involved in the detail of ANYTHING � just skipping merrily through school with minimal effort (although achieving reasonable grades in the main, with excellent grades for maths).

I've watched my own DD (just turned 12) ebb and flow in this regard. I find it challenging as a parent both because I worry about the work ethics she will develop (the link MumOfThree posted is to an article that is always in my head)and because it keeps me off kilter in my communication with the school. If I've spent a long time trying to advocate on her behalf and then she goes into a period where she acts like she has no individual needs at all, I start worrying that school will think I'm one of "those" moms....Actually, if I'm honest, I start worrying about it (maybe I've been wrong all along, maybe I was only seeing something I wanted to see, maybe everyone really does even out by third grade.... crazy ). If I get past worrying that I'm crazy, then I worry that school will never again believe what we are trying to tell them because she's gone through a period of lower acheivement. When I get over my panic (which lasts for increasingly shorter periods the older she gets), I remind myself that I don't like to go full out all the time either. There are times in my life when I have joyously coasted through school or work. It's easy to forget that our children need that too. I recently read Parenting Gifted Kids
by Jim DeLisle (thanks to whoever posted about the bargain price) and found it helpful in putting some of this type of thing in perspective.

FWIW....this year I watched DD figure out for herself that she didn't like it when she was given work that wasn't challenging--especially when some less lacksadaisical peers were being offered more challenging work. She changed direction a bit then and stepped up her engagement significantly.