Hmm. Not much advice, but sympathy
My DH makes some sideways comments at times about DS and friends. I've heard "these kids will never make it in the real world", etc. Also, the same situation with disappointment in athletic skills w/out actually taking the time to help improve them. Sigh. I think a lot of it is just fear. They probably remember "geek" kids getting picked on and bullied in school, and don't want that for their sons. They may think: if their son is a jock, nobody will mess with him. I catch myself engaging in this thinking a lot, too. Hence, I make ds take martial arts, and encourage lots of pushups!!!
I think something that has helped a bit regarding physicality (if not true athleticism) is having them work on other manly projects together. Heavy landscaping, building, moving heavy rocks. As far as school goes: seeing results helps some menfolk. IE scores, impressive projects, accomplishments. Yes, they can be both strong and intellectual! Think of all those spy movies where the guy breaks into a sophisticated computer security system and then proceeds to beat up about a dozen guys. And finally, for the friends: have them over and spend time with them. He may be surprised at how fun it can be to hang out with "geeks" !
