My dd9 is in the same sort of situation! She is 2e with disorder of written expression, processing speed deficit. She gets more and more isolative because as she says she will never be "fast enough to be good enough for anything." It breaks my heart! In discussions with the school, it seems they just see you as fishing for a trophy or something rather than garnering an understanding and formulating a game plan that challenges and gives a more level playing field. Just sad.