DD gets that all the time, in that people believe she has black hair.
Ugg! I hate that, and I'm so glad that I have at least some indication that I don't do that myself.
Here's the story:
When my Cuban American girlfriend's 2nd child was born, I said 'She looks just like you, and her big brother looks just like Dad!'
She laughted said: "I can't tell you how many people say just the opposite." And she showed me that her daugher has light skin tone just like the Dad, while her son - who has her DH's features, has her coloring. That was eye-opening for me.
But yeah, people see what they expect to see, and racist ideas 'color' what they expect to see. Hopefully you'll get that working in your favor in the school setting at least once or twice. I say, use it (subtly) if it works - your obligation to saving your kid comes before any oblication to save the world.
In our family we also draft DH to deal with any situation where people expect to take advantage of a female. ((eye rolls))
Love and More love,
Grinity
