We just received our daughter's welcome packet & first grade placement in the mail last night. In the letter from the principal, he encouraged parents to write letters of introduction so that the teachers will have a chance to know something about the children before the first day.

I'm struggling with what to write.

Our dd is currently reading & writing near mid-late 2nd grade level, understanding multiplication & fractions, etc. Our dd likes to observe before entering a new situation, is (already) a perfectionist, and afraid of taking risks. She deals well with other children and is very well socially adjusted. After the initial break-in period she becomes a leader, even with older children.

We've already had to make the request that she be accepted into first grade this year, rather than K (first acceleration - according to MO law). Which was granted based on a letter from her teacher at the private K program. She'll automatically be the youngest in her class. But she would get more out of 2nd grade academically.

I want the teacher to know that we're expecting differentiation, but that we're willing to help in whatever way is necessary to make it easier to accomplish this. We know that the only way for dd to deal with her perfectionistic tendencies is to be challenged and learn risk-taking skills.

The school offers pull-out gifted programs that will likely begin second semester. But the pull-out programs are more project based, rather than core-academic based. The classroom teachers are expected to be differentiating as necessary.

I want to be up front about all of this, without overwhelming the teacher (or becoming pushy). I also don't want to focus on the age issue for fear of making things harder when school starts.

I'm thinking of asking my daughter to write a letter to the teacher too.

Any thoughts, ideas, suggestions or encouragement would be welcomed!

Thanks!

I'm not good at adovocacy so I don't want to give advice here. I would suggest talking to other parents with simiar experiences. to see how things work there. best of luck.

I would say very little. I would mention the grade skip, as this will make the teacher aware that your child's abilities have been reviewed and assessed by others and they are advanced. Then I would write some stuff about how she has a baby brother and loves kittens or soccer or whatever fits her situation.

I like the idea of having your daughter write too. Make sure she signs with her first and last name.


I think it's fine to be pushy if the situation demands it, but I don't think this is the right opportunity.

As part of her "current interests," listing a few books she has recently read ought to indicate her reading level subtlely.

Dear Teacher,

(Child's name) is so excited to begin school in your class. She loves school, especially reading. Her two favorite books are (book that she is reading that is above level) and (other book above level, I'd be really careful about mentioning a book that is the peak of her reading level).

We noticed that last year in school, she very much liked getting answers correct and refrained from guessing unless she knew the answer for certain.

She's very social and the other children seem to gravitate towards her. Last year she enjoyed her classmates very much.

Her favorite things to do are:

Her hobbies are:

She gets very upset when:

Thanks for giving us this opportunity to let us tell you about our child. We're looking forward to a great year!

Then have both mom and dad sign.

Don't borrow trouble. If issues come up, and they probably will, take it step by step. It seems so logical to us as parents, to feel like giving them all the pertinent info right up front, right? I mean, who wouldn't want to know that stuff, it'll probably help them in the long run.

Wrong. Teachers think very differently than we do. If you barrage them with too much information up front the can easily become defensive and it's really hard to turn that around once you've started off on the wrong foot.

Additionally, I would suggest you attempt to volunteer with the school parent group if you can. Also if the teacher allows parents to sign up to help in the classroom it's a good idea to do that.

It's a valuable thing to be able to observe your child in the classroom environment if you can. It makes it a lot easier to see whether or not there is a problem.

Best,
Neato

I absolutely agree that you'll want to keep it short and friendly.

I would avoid suggesting what grade level you think she's at in any given subject. As we all know, grade level widely varies depending on the curriculum, actual proficiency, standards used by that particular school, etc. It's the very easiest thing for them to use to show you're on different pages. It's also easy to backfire with this, since if you underestimate where she is, they might not further challenge her, but if you overestimate, you could leave her with foundational holes (and burn your credibility). They'll quickly be able to see where she's at.

Similarly, saying she is social is wonderful! Talking about other children gravitating towards her is probably unnecessary and overkill, esp. if that doesn't happen right away in this new class.

I would definitely encourage a friendly partnership with the teachers. Tell them you respect their expertise and would like to work closely with them (even if you have to challenge some later day). I wouldn't say she's afraid of taking risks, because that could be seen as a developmental/maturity issue ('though we know differently).

Absolutely volunteer! I was in DS's class one day a week last year, and it was invaluable information when we decided to pull him. I also agree about getting involved. Teachers who know you and depend on you are a LOT more willing to go that extra mile with you.

Also, one thing I've discovered is that when you meet other parents, you'll want to minimize the amount of time you spend spreading talk about how young/gifted she is. Other parents hate it when we're "those kind of people," and as you start your family's time in that school, the more "normal" you are with other parents, the more networking and information you'll gather that can help you in the long run.

I hope she has a great new year, and that you get a great teacher!!

Hmmm, I might agree with you that it's unnecessary. I was simply trying to rephrase the comment about being a leader, even with older kids, in a way that might be more palatable to the teacher. It seemed that Maryanne1 felt that this was important to express. I do agree that the teacher would probably pick up on this on their own, though.

I don't agree that it's overkill and this is why. If the child is indeed a natural leader it might be important for the teacher to know this upfront, especially if the child starts to shut down in class, which sometimes happens with very gifted children.
Had the teacher not know that generally, the child is very social and leader-like, she/he might just assume the child is shy. Which does not seem like the case.

In any event, I'm sure the letter that you write will be very good, whatever you do decide to include, Maryanne1.

We got a lot more mileage out of the handful of emails my 2nd grader wrote to her teacher and principal last year than all the advocacy meetings my dh and I attended.

I agree with the previous posters that mentioning book titles rather than reading levels would be helpful. I assume that most teachers loved to read as kids, so if they know that there is a child in their class who likes to read really good books, there is a good chance of the teacher being inspired to differentiate for dc.

I also think it might be wise to leave out the perfectionism issue. You can always bring it up in a few months if you are still seeing it. I would worry that it might provide a reason for the school to avoid further accommodations - this doesn't make sense to me, but I have heard of this happening.

Good luck! I think its awesome you have already received your welcome packet. I know DD won't get her's until 4 days before school starts and its driving me crazy with all the "what if"s!

One thing my daughter's teacher did this year made a big difference. The teacher suggested she take AR tests(not required till next year)and she would ask about the stories.

When DS6 started K, I sent his teacher a small note, a paragraph, stating that DH and I wanted her to know that we are available to help her out in anyway possible. I let her know in a round about way that he was reading and doing math, and that he may, being a boy, get bored and act out. I wanted her to know that we were being proactive about any behavior problems instead of being reactive.

A week later is when I got the call from her wanting him tested to move to first.

I think if you "play it" as "we're here to help", being supportive of the teacher, she may be more open to helping you & your DD as opposed to becoming defensive. I'm not sure that makes sense, but that's what we plan to do with DS's 2nd grade teacher when we speak with her next week.

my DS LOVED taking these!

Thank you all for saving me from myself and my tendency to over-explain.

I talked to my dd yesterday about writing a letter to her teacher, and she wants to. I think it will be something along the lines of "Dear Mrs. X, I like princesses and candy. I have two cats. I can't wait for first grade. Love, DC" But of course, if she wants to write something else, so be it.

We'll try to write a short letter mentioning a couple of book series (perhaps books dd reads on her own and some books we read together?); mention that she likes ballet, singing and science, and that she can be slow to warm up, but will quickly get over that and be *very* social (I don't know that I'll mention she's likely to do this if she gets bored.)

We'll also mention that we'd love to help, including buying extra supplies for the room, if necessary. Just let us know what's needed.

I think based on the general tone of advice here, I'm not going to mention academics directly at all. The school already has some information on that based on the request we had to make to enroll our daughter in first grade. The principal seemed aware that she'd need differentiation (he was actually the first to use the word in our conversation). During our conversations we also did not mention the words "gifted" or "grade-skip". I'll assume it will be passed on. If it's not, we can address it after a couple of weeks.

I think that the only reference I'll make to age is that dd's birthday is the first week in September, so we'd like to know if there's any arrangements we need to make for that.

I really appreciate the feedback. Venting everything here will allow me to be much more restrained in the actual letter.

Thanks!

Maryann

I think that's great. Especially combined with a little note from the parents. It lets the teacher know that you are invested in child owning her experience at school and you will not be the dreaded helicopter parent. It has the added benefit of letting the teacher know in advance that your child's writing, printing, spelling skills are already at least at grade level, if not higher. My, you are sneaky! I like it!


Personally, I would only include the title of a book I was sure she could easily read and answer questions from. The teacher won't care what level book you are reading to her. Her job is to determine at what level the child should be reading, with good comprehension.


Good call.


Another very good call. We have an extremely supportive principal who for the most part, understood how different our kids were. Even in a community where almost all the kids are *gifted*.
Unfortunately, that didn't always translate to the teachers for various reasons.

But no sense worrying about that now. You could have an excellent teacher who naturally takes care of the situation without any intervention from you.
You'll just have to wait and see.
If you do end up having a problem, keep communicating with parents on this forum. There are a lot of parents who have great success in advocating for their children's needs, who are members of this online community.

Incogneato,

I think that I'm only going to mention that she's enjoying the Fancy Nancy books by Jane O'Connor. Which indicates her interest in things fancy (my daughter loves to wear dresses, etc.) and her reading level (1.9 - 3.2) within a broad range.

The school is good. I'm sure that's because the teachers are good. I know I had good teachers who still didn't know how to deal with me when I was in school, because they had never met anyone like me before. Even in the self-contained gifted class, I was an odd fit.

Thanks again. This place is a great place to see what other people are going through, it helps to be not alone.

Maryann

Maryann, it sounds like you have a great game plan!

I agree with grateful mom! Here's to a fantastic year in 1st for Maryann's DD.

I thought I would quote this so it can be a reminder to myself. So true, so true!!

Done! Dropped the letter off this morning.

I met some other GT parents last week, both their children had this teacher previously and they loved her. They said that she kept trying different interventions throughout the school year (as late as the month that school ended) to improve outcomes. We'll officially meet her on Thursday.

As a side note, their DD, starting 4th grade, seems to be underachieving, so I was able to direct them toward "A Nation Deceived". I'm hoping that the more GT parents are aware of the research, the less I will be "that parent" and the more that everyone will be successful in advocating for our kids. (Then I don't have to be the first person to mention it with a child who is new to the school.)