My son is a gifted 10 year old 6th grader (bd in March) who is having a tough time falling asleep at night. His bedtime is 9 o'clock but on most nights he's still awake at 10 o'clock.

We asked him why he is still awake and he typically says that his mind is thinking about a variety of things (sometime's images, sometimes numbers, sometimes shapes, etc.) or else he just isn't tired.

My wife mentioned this to a local doctor and he prescribed some type of pill (I think it's Clonidine, .1mg pill before bedtime) to help him fall asleep. It worked one night but didn't work the other 4 he took it so we stopped giving it to him. The doctor said if it didn't work then maybe my son need to "go talk with someone."

My wife mentioned (and I read online) that some children may not need as much sleep as others. But I'm afraid if we allow him to stay up until say 10 o'clock, that if he still stays awake another hour after that, then he won't be asleep until 11 o'clock. He usually doesn't get up out of bed when he can't sleep but as a parent it worries me knowing that he's probably back there worrying about not falling a sleep for an hour or more.

We wake him up at 6:30 and he gets out of bed with no problem and he never really acts tired, worn out, or sleepy during the day.

I guess I'm wondering what time you have/had your 10 year old to go to bed and what advice you might have?

Thank you for any and all help you can provide.

TripleB

My daughter was similar at that age. Now in high school she goes to bed earlier. I just think high school is more tiring than grade school and maybe more difficult. I would be more concerned about a doctor giving him medicine to sleep while it appears his sleeping habits in reality hasn't really caused problems.

Some people need less sleep. My mom struggled getting my brother to sleep his whole childhood. As an adult he just sleeps less.

I agree with this. I was hesitate when he prescribed them and am (I know this sounds bad) glad they didn't work. We did learn my son can swallow pills a lot better than his old man could at his age!

TripleB

One of mine has a really difficult time falling asleep; we started melatonin gummies at age 11, and it makes a WORLD of difference.

Before, she never really got to "sleepy" - she just got more and more spun up and squirrelly. Different situation than yours, since she was also clearly tired, irritable, hard to wake, etc., but we've found it to be really helpful in letting her mind slow down enough for her to fall asleep.

Some kids do need less sleep. As long as they are not tired I wouldn't be worried. They will grow up needing less sleep too. Many famous people are like that and they have more time to accomplish things they want to do.

I do think you might be able to give melatonin a try if you want to shift his sleep schedule a bit. Our pediatrician thinks that is very safe for kids. I got a 300mcg version that seems to be effective.

My 10 year old goes to bed at 8 to 8.30. My 8 year old goes to bed at the same time and if he doesn't have melatonin he is still awake at 10.30 -he is tired and grumpy next day though. It may mean he needs less sleep or it may mean he needs an hour to settle and should go to bed earlier.

I think there are two pieces to this puzzle and it would be good to attempt to look at them separately if possible.

1. how much sleep does he actually need? On one hand - he's not tired, doesn't seem irritable, etc. On the other hand - what happens on days when you don't wake him? If he sleeps another hour or two when you don't wake him then that might hint that he's not getting enough (and is somehow good at not being a grump about it).

2. possible difficulty falling asleep/winding down. Some people take a while to fall asleep, some people need a consistent routine, no screen time, exercise earlier in the day (but not right before bed), etc or they take a long time at night. If moving his bedtime later *still* requires an hour then maybe there are some skills/routines that could be learned to shorten it, or maybe his hour of pondering life is what works for him....

FWIW my DS11 goes to bed at 9:00/9:15 and gets up at 5:30/6:00 and has consistently for the last year or two. We have no need for alarm clocks in our house

Great question that I should have put in my original post.

On school days we wake him up at 6:30 (he's still asleep) and on non-school days he's up on his own by 6 o'clock. He used to get up at 6 and get on electronics but we nipped that pretty quickly hoping he would sleep later...now he still gets up at 6 and reads for an hour.

Thanks for everyone's input so far!

TripleB

Sounds like a solution in need of a problem. By all the evidence he's getting all the sleep he needs. If he's lying there thinking for a while in bed before he falls asleep, there's nothing necessarily wrong with that. It's part of his routine at this point, and probably not something to tinker with, given that it's working. The quiet time probably helps him get to sleep, and some of that thinking time can also be quite productive.

If he's complaining about it, I would be open to negotiating an extra half hour, but no more than that.

Our DS 11, also 6th grade does exactly the same thing. In bed by 9:15, but stays awake about an hour, sometimes more. I've been debating letting him stay up later. I even started reading to them before bed like in the old days to see if that would help soothe him. It doesn't seem to make a difference, but they like it, so for now, we're doing it.

He wakes up at 6:30 for school and proably about 1/2 to one hour later on weekends. He rarely seems tired during the day.

I suspect he's just thinking. I remember doing that as a kid, and as an adult before I had kids and became a person who's exhausted all the time.

Thank you for sharing your story. It makes me feel better about our son. Hopefully my post does the same for you.

My own personal experience as a HG youth - I stayed up and watched Honeymooners reruns at 11pm every night from about age 8-11, until I got a morning paper route that had me our delivering at 6:30, when I turned 12. That was just my personal sleep need, and it worked out fine.

My current DYS DD13 is in bed at 9:30, but usually still awake when I go up at 10-10:30, and she gets up at 5:45. Her older sister seems to sleep all the time. Just different physiologies. Unless there's some indication of a problem, I see no need to resort to meds. It's actually a bit worrisome that a doctor prescribed them if there was really no physical symptoms to address.

THANKS FOR ALL THE INPUT SO FAR!!!

Last night we went to a local WM and was looking at all the various options as far as melatonin. While we were standing there looking my son sees a 'Calming Sleep' essential oil and gets pretty excited.

We have an oil diffuser at home we used to use with peppermint oil to try and help my wife's headaches.

I figured for $5.76 it was worth a try. My thinking when I purchased it was whether the oil in the diffuser actually works or not, him thinking that it would help might just do the trick.

Last night we watched a movie with the diffuser blowing out the smell and white "smoke" of the 'Calming Sleep' oil. My wife and I didn't care for the smell of it very much but he seemed to like it.

After the movie he went to bed around 9:15 and had no trouble falling a asleep at all. Now whether it was the movie, or the staying up 15 minutes later, or the Calming Sleep oil, or the fact that he seemed pretty tired from PE from the day before, who knows...hopefully we can narrow down which of them help over the next couple of days.

We didn't let him go to sleep with the oil diffuser working last night, telling him we had to figure out how much water to put in it to get it to last a certain amount of time. It looks like 1/4 full=1 hour, 1/2 full = 2 hours, etc. and it automatically cuts off. Haven't decided whether to put it in his room and let him go to sleep with it going or not (it's very cool with a nice glow of colors that change ever so often).

Again, thanks for all the help so far!!!

TripleB