DD13 and DD12/DYS will be attending a new middle school next Fall. I have to tread lightly with the teachers as DH will be affiliated with the school. DYS has a letter I can give the school, but how does that work when one of the parents has connections to the school? Or, do I wait to meet the teachers and hand them the letter after school has started? Our current AG teacher made negative comments when we tried to advocate for DD so I am feeling insecure about trying again.

You may wish to make a copy of the letter for your advocacy records at home, then entrust the original to your husband's care and to his judgement as to when to pass along the letter... as he will be affiliated with the school.

If there are any other materials you need to provide to the school (electronically or in paper format), another idea would be to provide the letter along with those materials.

Regarding advocacy, a pleasant, factual, unemotional approach is typically most effective.

Does the school have a "Meet the Teacher" night? Ours tend to do that a couple weeks after school starts. I've found that is often an excellent time, *not* to try and discuss my kid, but to secure a meeting to do so. I make sympathetic noises at the teacher that show I know they are undoubtedly finding my kid challenging already, and how can I help? If I frame it right, the teacher is practically asking me for a meeting and more info, rather than the other way around. No pushy parent!

Admittedly, this works because my 2E don't blend particularly well, and by week 2 teachers are inevitably thinking uh oh.....

So for me, the key is to be all about recognizing what challenges and weaknesses the teacher is already experiencing, and positioning myself as there to help. I always start from, "What can we do differently at home to better support what you expect them them to do in the classroom?", for instance. Or "How can we teach and reinforce the executive function skills/ organizational systems you expect the kids to use?"

Any suggestions for the teacher strategies I always frame as coming from her peers, not me. "His previous teachers have told me they find X really helpful..... They tried Y and Z, but Q always seemed to work best... e.g. he can manage his attention issues/ stay on track completing his work/ make fewer calculating errors/ produce written material more quickly... when the work is more complex. They find more challenging work is enormously helpful in keeping him going when he has to work through his disabilities...."

Obviously, this doesn't work so well with the compliant high achiever. At least, I would assume so - I personally wouldn't have a clue

The factual unemotional person would be my husband. So he's the guy then to make the handoff for sure. The current school will be electronically sending the school records so the new school will see DD's grade skip and AG information but nothing from DYS (it's so late in the year we haven't bothered to tell the school).

I don't know if they have this, but I imagine they do. All the schools I know have them, but this will be a private international school so who knows? The idea of "providing help" is a good one!!


I like this, too. Again, it's all about how the parent is helping the teacher vs. being another burden.

Really I can say what the 504 lists. The new one has really made a difference!!!

I do! My older one could rule the world! She is uber-organized. Drives DD crazy. I WISH I was as organized as she is. It's crazy having such different kids.