I'm taking DS6 to a neuropsych starting tomorrow for a full psychoeducational assessment and it just dawned on me that I have no idea how to present this to him. We've only ever peripherally suggested to him from time to time that there might be something a bit different about him and generally, I think he has a sense that he's different from most kids. But I haven't broached the subject of testing! Now I'm wondering what I tell him. I don't want to tell him that it's to test his intelligence and certainly not because we suspect he might be gifted. So then what? Any ideas? Anything would be appreciated!

DS was first tested at 6. We told him that an adult specialist was interested in finding out his learning styles and his interests so that we could use the information to make school more interesting for him...

Thanks, playandlearn. Thing is, he thinks school is fine and I don't want to create expectations for him about school somehow becoming "more fun". Cause he's the kind of kid who would take that quite literally.

I'm actually getting quite nervous about what to tell him! Every scenario I run through my head seems like a bad idea... Argh. Why didn't I think of this before?!

Rather than saying that we would try to make school more interesting (or fun), we told my DD at around that age that the test was to understand better how she thinks and learns, so we could understand better the best ways to teach her.

We told our son that there was a nice lady in the room who would be playing some fun and interesting games with him and ask him interesting questions and that he should just go there and have fun with the questions. It worked, he told her all about superheroes and which ones are his favorites in the short time that we were in that room before we left!

I try to avoid describing it as games, as I've learned from experience that that also raises expectations. Usually, I tell children that we are going to do some different activities that help us understand how you learn best. Some things may be easy, and some may be hard. That's normal. Just do your best, and give everything a good try. You may ask any questions you like. I'll answer them if I can, but sometimes I'm not allowed to tell you, because I have to follow the rules.

Then I answer their questions, and we do some warm up chitchat and drawings for a few minutes, before starting formal testing.

Thank you, all of you! Turns out he didn't need much explanation. I just told him he was going to meet Dr A and she was going to ask him a bunch of interesting questions to find out how he learns. He asked if it would be questions like "what is 40 plus 40", and we just moved on to doing some math together. No other questions about seeing the doctor. I'm now sitting in the waiting room and I hear him having fun in there. Regardless of what comes out of it, we'll likely understand more about our little monkey! 😀

DS7 was 6 when he took the test. Before the test, I told him that we were going to see a nice gentleman who will give him some puzzles to do. Just have fun. He loves puzzles so after the initial shyness, he got right into the questions and did not stop until all the subtests were done.

Well now that the testing is done, have any idea how you'll present the results? We've procrastinated for weeks now in sharing anything with our daughter after only telling her that it was to "learn how she learns." I'd love to hijack this thread for advice on what to say after

Granted, your children are much younger than the ones to whom I usually present (adolescents), but I am a strong proponent of explaining children's qualitative profiles to them, along with a thoughtful discussion of the natural variation within and between individuals, and cautions regarding the limitations of assessment instruments (including differences between test administrations).

The general caveat to this is--as appropriate to the developmental level and understanding of your child. And if you or they are not prepared to explain/grasp any of those points, then I would lean on the more conservative side, especially with regard to exact numbers.

Hmm, tried to post in response to this but my post somehow disappeared.

We're planning on being pretty straightforward with him (glad aeh thinks this is a good idea, as I've quickly learned to trust her advice), including about any possible LDs. I would think it would be helpful to explain to him that X is the reason handwriting is so hard for him, and we can do Y to help him with it. On the other hand, we may temper the truth if there is something dramatic about the results.

Oh, and as an update - he is really enjoying the testing. Apparently he interrupted some instructions to tell Dr. A that she's really nice and that "this is really fun". He also talked my ear off about it the whole way back. Mind you, I figured out that he must have gotten a whole section wrong - it was to do with the relative weight of objects and he didn't catch on (given that it was in pictures, I guess) that different sized objects can weigh the same thing. Sigh. George C, I may not have to eat my hat after all!

Can't believe we have to wait until July for the results (I don't do well with waiting)! And who knows, I may have to leave this forum if it turns out he's not actually gifted!

I'm still struggling with how exactly to present the info to my daughter. "So, you did great at your evaluation, you were cooperative and friendly which was very helpful. And we learned that you are 'gifted.' Do you know what that means?" (No.) "Well, your brain works different. Not different-bad. Sort of different-good. Not different-better." And I'm tripping over my words in my imaginary conversation in my head already so I just keep not saying anything.

Why were you having her tested in the first place? You could use that as your starting point. So for instance, maybe you can explain that it's because you want to make sure that how things are taught at school is a good fit for how her brain works. Maybe you can explain that with the information you have, you can do more to help her flourish. Or whatever the case may be. I think it can be more about the way forward than about the actual numbers. Personally, I wouldn't emphasize those too much. Especially if they are particularly high, she may worry about having to keep up with that standard! I'd also tell her that this is just one piece of the equation and that it's not a huge deal.

This is how I explained it to my daughter (7.5):

Before: An evaluation where they will ask you a bunch of questions and the goal is to help figure out how you learn best so that we can figure out how to make school better (it was horrible that year, so this was the right explanation). The questions get harder and harder so don't worry or feel bad if you get to one that you don't know. That's the way it works and they are supposed to get harder than just about anyone will know. It doesn't mean you did badly. (Setting expectations around her perfectionism, though she did point out that on a bunch of stuff, they never did get harder and they ran out of questions -- lol, that was unexpected).

Afterward, she was with us when the tester went over the results, standard deviation and normal ranges and all. So she knew her number and seemed happy that she did 'well'.

The way I explained it to her later though was like this:

When a baby is born, their brain is like a cup. And when you are tiny, there are only a few drops of knowledge in your cup (like mama and papa love you). Over the years, you work to fill your cup up. And with hard work, you can even stretch your cup a little bit, but not forever. Your evaluation showed that you are lucky to have a very large cup. This means that it can be easier to fill sometimes and that it will hold more. But it doesn't mean you know everything yet... you still have to work to fill your cup up as much as you can by learning all kinds of new things. And having a different sized cup isn't something you can help, just like you can't help your hair color or how tall you are, so you don't want to make other people feel badly about themselves, just like you don't have to feel badly about how you are.

My DD is now 13, and she mentioned just the other day that she shared this metaphor with a group of kids who were wondering about her skipping a grade. And they all thought it was a great explanation.

Ivy, the cup metaphor is a really great way to explain this! I may start using that myself!

Ivy, I love that explanation! Absolutely the perfect metaphor!

Add me to the list of fans - I also love this cup simile or analogy! Great explanation for age 7.5... and also age 13.