Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments First post and not sure where to start

Hi everyone. This is my first post and I feel like a fish out of water.

A little background: We have three children. Our oldest is in 5th grade and just started school in a gifted cluster classroom. She was tested for the gifted program last year and accepted. The letter we received said she tested for "intellectual ability". From what I have read online this seems about right. She has always been a very bright and sensitive child. Our second child just started 1st grade and we are becoming very concerned about what to do in regards to his class and being taught. Our third child is three years old and a bundle of fun.

Our concern at the moment is for our six year old that is in 1st grade. He has always been extremely bright and just knows stuff. We have never tested him formally. The school district doesn't test for the gifted program until the end of 2nd grade. Which in reality isn't an issue, because we are more concerned with the fact that he is so advanced of his 1st grade peers that we do not feel that he will gain anything but bad habits out of it.

I am not sure how to proceed and get what he needs. Last year his K teacher worked with us and she clustered her 5 top students and sent them to another K class for the mornings where they could work at a higher level. *side note* She tried to put him in a 1st grade class for the mornings but for some reason they wouldn't allow it. Dh and I felt that what she came up with worked for our son for the time being because even though he was beyond what they were learning academically he was gaining confidence, making friends and learning socially.

If you were me what would you do? I prefer not to homeschool at the moment for various reasons but mainly because we make a great team as parent and child but he doesn't like to be taught by his dad or me. This is second week of school and tonight is open house so I will get a better read on the teacher. What did you do for your child? What should I look into?

Thanks in advance.

There are people far more knowledgeable on this board than I. That said: Welcome.

We had a similar situation with our DS5.5. We were scheduled to enter K this year. During the summer we got DS formally evaluated, an expensive but a necessary step. Even though our state will test children, they operate on their own schedule. We wanted an independent opinion. Something more than "we (parents) think he's bright". It's unfortunate, but when you look at it from the SD's perspective they get lots of requests for special exceptions from parents. Having hard data helps make your case.

After getting the evaluation where it showed that his mental age was above the requirement for early admission into first, we submitted a formal request. This, though, was specific to our local SD's policies and procedures.

What you might want to do is to start learning about your local SD's policy. Sometimes grade skips can be difficult to advocate for. But as someone once told me on this board, there is always someone higher to talk to. Principal, Assistant Super, Super, Board of Directors, etc. If there were no barriers, what would you want for your DS? Skip into 2nd? That would seem reasonable to me.

My two cents. Let me know if I have change left...

JB

Have you met with your DS's first grade teacher? I think that might be a good place to start.

Our GT services didn't officially start unti 2nd either, but DS's teacher made a special referral and DS was invited to come spend time with the GT 4-5 graders a few hours a couple days a week. It did solve our problems since DS is generally pretty easy-going. Obviously, this is too little to meet every kid's needs, but it was something that helped us.

Welcome,

I would suggest starting with achievement/IQ testing to see where your child(ren) are. Different levels of giftedness have different needs and this will give you an idea what you should advocate for. You may also find that your child has an area of great strength and they may need subject acceleration in math for example.

Some schools will do the testing, but if you can afford it, you may want to do it privately. There are plenty of great people here (like Dottie ) that can make sense of the numbers for you. Once I had some numbers to go by, it was much easier to know what DD needed from school. It also helps the school to realize how to help your child, if they are willing to work with you.

Good luck in your journey. I hope the open house goes well.

Jen

Early skips are easier, if your son is very advanced and has his "skills" down. Otherwise, consider mid-year skip or see if teacher will give differentiated material in the 1st grade class (e.g., when she hand out the math worksheets, maybe have separate ones for him & allow him to read at his own level, write in a journal, etc...not such difficult accommodations--at least for the time being).

DS6 just started 2nd grade after a 1st grade skip. (Great 1st day BTW ) We starting thinking about acceleration when we realized that differentiation was not realistically going to happen -- hopefully your teacher/school is more flexibile. Like you I was also concerned about bad habits as a result of not having to put any effort into learning. The "Iowa Acceleration Scale" was a great tool to have -- mainly to help me feel confident that a skip was a good solution for him. Only time will tell...

I agree with the others - having him evaluated is a good first step. Not only IQ testing, but academic testing as well. You have to know what grade level he's operating at in order to know what kind of accommodations are needed. You may also want to check out the book, 'Teaching Gifted Kids in the Regular Classroom' by Susan Winebrenner for some ideas of reasonable ways to accomodate your son's needs. Whether or not the school is flexibile and open enough to work with you to make sure he's learning is key here...

Update We went to the open house last night and came out dissapointed but not suprised. We are not sure what we want. I ordered the "Iowa Acceleration Scale" yesterday and plan on going to the library today for some of the other recommended books. I have an email into the teacher asking when would be a good time to come by to talk.

It is obvious to both dh and I that she doesn't notice ds is ahead of what is being taught or she is so overwhelmed that she doesn't know what to do. It is disheartening because she came highly recommended by the principal no less. Her one comment about ds was that "he is a well behaved child". To be fair it was a open house and not the time to get into a long conversation but we still expected soemthing/anything to have been said about his academics.

I am scrambling to figure out what is best for ds, so we know how to approach the teacher and school. Dh isn't convinced that ds should accelerate but he absolutely doesn't want him languishing in class.

I don't even know how to approach the teacher. Any tips?

Is he advanced in reading or math (or both?) I approached DS' K teacher by asking for her professional opinion on what his reading level was. When she did the assessment, she saw for herself. Without that, he never had the opportunity to show her what he knew. If your son is well behaved (like my son) an overwhelmed K teacher will just be greatful that he isn't a problem and focus on the kids who are.

If a teacher never gives a child above-level work, she's unlikely to realize that he can do above-level work.

It's quite a delicate balance between advocating hard enough to make a difference and yet not being either too "pushy" or too wimpy. Especially at the beginning of the year, it's a real challenge.

I'm lousy at it, and others here are real pros, so I won't say much. The only thing I will tell you is that I made the decision early on that if it came down to my son--a normally VERY well-behaved kid who was acting out because he was so miserable in 1st grade and who was beginning to think badly of himself--becoming "that kid" or my becoming "that parent," then I was going to bear the brunt of the teacher's judgement. I could handle it; my son shouldn't have to.

I think most of us are nice people who don't like to make waves or be thought of badly by others. Sometimes you can advocate without that sort of problem, and hurray for that! But not always. So while you're calm, I think it's smart to consider what lengths you're willing to go to if you absolutely must and what your limits are. Prioritize.

Not much help, I know...Sorry! But I wish you well!

Another update: I got a response from my email. I asked to meet with her to discuss ds and her professional opinion on my son's academic proficiency.

She wrote back the times she was available. And this:
"A (ds) appears to be doing fine. He really likes to show me what he already knows and I try to keep him going even though right now the curriculum in a lot of review from Kindergarten. The first two weeks are the easiest, then our curriculum in reading and math get more in depth and harder it seems.
Please feel free to come in and observe our classroom at any time."

I am not sure how to take what she wrote. Or if I am just being overly sensitive cause I haven't even had a conversation yet. Do you think she will be open to some acommodations?