Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment Should I have her tested

I have an almost 5 yr. old daughter whom I have considered having tested for giftedness over the last few years.

From the time she was 18 months I had a suspected that she was unique. She had no words, but I realized she knew her alphabet when I decided to ask her to point to the letters on a sign as we were walking. She was able to with ease, and then I checked her numbers 1-10 randomly and her answers were correct. She wasn't speaking anything but gibberish really till right at 2 and I had already had her assessed for speech therapy and she was found eligible. She had therapy for 10 months and by the time she was 2.5 she looked up at the ceiling at a friend's house, pointed, and said "octagon." She was in fact right...it was an 8 sided light. Before 3 she was able to read the months of the year randomly and was actively reading books at 3 (I would ask her to point out specific words on a page to ensure that it wasn't just memorization).

She has intense sensitivity to music...right before 3 yrs. of age we were at an outdoor concert, listening to an orchestra when they began a song from Schindler's List. You would have thought her whole world had fallen apart. She sobbed uncontrollably and all I could get out of her was..."music sad." I had to remove her and once inside she calmed down.

She also has sensitivity to noises though an OT evaluation did not indicate enough clinical significance for Sensory Integration Dysfunction, OT treatment.

She challenges authority at home and with teachers. At 3 her preschool teacher stated that she knew the curriculum and could sit her (the teacher) down and teach it. She called her current preschool teacher "a bad teacher" and when asked why she stated, "because she interrupted me."

She has already gone through Aspergers testing as well since teachers seem to want to label her with either that or the sensory. She has been tested 3 times...I'm done with testing those thigns. At this point...as I have thought all along, I am thinking she is gifted.

She can locate, in a county map book, her 2 favorite restaurants, her Grandmother's house as well as her own...these places are located in different cities and counties. She counted to 100 and backwards at 3. She is able to do simple addition in her head without thinking about it. She can remember after 1, maybe 2 visits where to turn at a particular location to get to her father's work, among other locations.

She knows some Spanish and can count to 10 in Korean. She is continually interested in watching shows that are in another language that include subtitles.

This all being said...there are some challenging behaviors as I mentioned earlier in that her behavior can get in the way of success. She is constantly telling me she is bored, she doesn't like to miss preschool but often gets into trouble with other students or the teachers in the class. She gravitates towards older children and adults and does very well behaviorally in those situations that don't include a specified authority figure.

I want to provide her with the best possible education...so she enjoys school and feels challenged and has a healthy self esteem and a healthy respect for authority. We can manage her at home but she can be very challenging and she is high maintenance.

I would like to find somewhere to have her tested in the Chicagoland area if possible...somewhere where it won't break our bank.

To end my description of her...she is also wonderful, gregarious, has a fantastic imagination and wonderful sense of humor. She can be extremely polite, kind, and nurturing. She is not a bad child...but she needs appropriate direction and redirection.

Thank you for any assistance you can provide.

Hi Azuil,
Welcome!!!

Your daughter indeed sounds gifted, and even her bad behaviors are 'consistent' with the problems that gifted kids of a certain personality tend towards - not to excuse them, but she will probably need a modified environment (not age lock step with grade) to help curb these tendencies.

Does she read nowadays?
Does she have siblings?
Is homeschooling an option?
Are there 'special schools' for gifted kids within a reasonable driving distance? Is that an option financially?

Yes, I do think testing would be very helpful, provided that a tester-
a) is very familiar with the full range of giftedness in kids
b) can help with some parenting suggestions
c) can help advocate with whatever school she attends

I'm hoping that someone from Chicago can post their favorite tester, or send you a PM, private message. You might also look over past posts in regional, and do a search on 'authority.' (Sadly, this is a frequent topic of conversation here - although certainly not universal)

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Thank you Grinity so much for your response! She does read nowadays...voraciously! I find books under her pillow, she reads when she goes to the bathroom...often we'll have books in the car with us as well...since she was very little. She has always been passionate about her books.

She has a younger brother, he is 11 months. Homeschool is really not an option...me as he teacher would be disastrous to be honest...not because I am not able to "teach" her anything...it is because we lock heads quite a bit. She and I are quite a bit alike...when they say the apple didn't fall far from the tree...well I'm not sure my apple fell at all LOL.

Yes, everything I've read indicates that she may be gifted...behaviors included unfortunately LOL but I know that often this is a part of it all.

Financially we are having a difficult time so it would be very hard for us. I'm looking into Montessori as I think this would really appeal to her learning style. We also have the Avery Coonly School in Downers Grove, IL.

My husband and I have both been labled gifted for different reasons and although we are familiar with how that feels...because it wasn't handled well when we were children...we're afraid of making the same mistakes.

I too hope someone from the area can post a favorite Psychologist. I really want to provide her with the nurturing she needs.

Thanks again for your response...it is truly appreciated!

Welcome. I would definitely get her tested. The more you know now, the better off you will be to fight the battles ahead! Good luck!

Azuil -

Check out Hoagies for Tester/psychologist reccomendations.

It's so wonderful you are discovering her giftedness at her young age. Just understanding your daughter will help her. Best of luck to you.

But what is she reading? Cat in the Hat? Magic Tree House? Harry Potter? This gives you a rough idea how much trouble fun you are in for...

Read up on unschooling - I hope that no one who doesn't want to homeschool ever has to, but it is good to know that homeschool doesn't have to be reproducing school at home, with you as the fountain of wisdom and all that headbanging.

Gradeskips have their disadvantages, but a gradeskip at the local public school is easier on the wallet and the odometer than private schools for some kids. IQ testing would be good - read 'Iowa Acceleration Scale Manual' for more info while you look for a tester.

Did you join your state gifted association? That might be a good network to find out about testers and school and school districts and saturday enrichment programs.

You say that you and DH had some bad experiences with being identified as gifted - what happened? It is good to start sorting through the old baggage as you start to make decisions for your children. Posting here is as good a way as any!

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Hey Grinity! Well she's reading so many things really. We have a very large book of Dr. Seuss stories that she loves to read and she reads them easily. She'll read signs on the road as we're driving, she'll read Berenstein Bears books, etc. She just likes to read everything. She's not reading Harry Potter though I have no doubt she could read many of the words if she wanted to. One of the things I've noticed about her is that once something becomes challenging she starts to kind of shut down and not want to do it, but I've been working with her saying that just because something is hard doesn't mean you can't do it, it just means you have to practice at it to make it easier. That seems to be working some because she has repeated that back to me before in the midst of something more challenging.

She used to pretend that she couldn't read or hold a pencil correctly...I think simply because I wanted her to so I backed off on those requests and she reverted to doing those things again. I have no doubt that she feels a lot of pressure though I'm trying very hard to not to that to her.

As for myself and my husband...I was labeled gifted musically and athletically and my husband is gifted intellectually. Adults put a lot of pressure on us to perform and we are both very stubborn, willful people (gee sound familiar?)...so we would dig our heels in and shut down. My mother would tell me to play a song on the piano for her friends and when I didn't want to, she would call me a quitter and try to guilt me, etc. It wasn't fun. My husband would often not do his homework and not attend school, but would come in to take the test and of course get an A which would drive his teachers nuts.

The expectations of children who are talented and/or gifted can really put the child in an emotionally unsafe position of never being good enough. We are trying very hard not to do that with our children. My son is only 11 months so I have no idea what his abilities are though he shows more signs of being physically agile, coordinated, etc. but who knows.

At any rate the only reason as I've said before that I want to know about my daughter's intellect is because her behaviors are getting in the way of success which can impact how she feels about herself. She has a difficult time understanding that adults are the boss, not her. I just feel she has too much adult information in her head and doesn't have the emotional maturity to be able to handle such things so her behaviors reflect that.

Azuil - What fun!!! Sounds like you are a terrific mom with a lovely daughter and son - Yippee!

Stubborn and willful do tend to run in families - but here is hoping that your experience will help you help your DD. Get her tested.

BTW - I am not suggesting that you should be pushing your DD to read Harry Potter! I'm celebrating - she is reading early but she is enjoying age appropriate reading - which is wonderful! The kids who can't be stopped from reading books like Harry Potter have a very hard time of it in Kindy - so be pleased. I think you hit the nail on the head about the difficulty of having too much adult information in her head and age appropriate emotional maturity to handle such things. A lovely example of 'asynchronous development.'

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Thank you for the compliment! I will get her tested...it seems the right thing to do. I completely agree with you, though she can read well...the plot and overall ideas of a Harry Potter book are really too complex for such a young child. Thankfully she does know the difference between fact and fiction. She has an extremely active imagination and sometimes I'll ask if whatever it is she's talking about is really there and she'll say "no I'm pretending" or "I'm just kidding."

Today she told me she wished she could fly and when I asked her where she'd go she said "outer space", then I asked her if she would come back to visit me and she at first said no...then she said I'll come back when I'm ready. Then she said she'd take me with her and that she'd have a really big seat in her rocket ship for our minivan LOL...quite the active imagination!

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm picking on you, but part of the welcome to the world of gifted is to start being very careful with one's words. Anything that sounds vaguely like 'children can't do x at y age' is likely to be something someone else told us, and we naively believed. Giftedness comes in all flavors, for example, my son loved me to read Harry Potter to him at age 5. He could barely read the simplest Dr. Seuss book at the time, but his mind was totally ready to enjoy HP. This is another version of Asynchronous Development. He also loved "A wrinkle in time' at 5 and 'Phantom Tollbooth' at age 3 so it really isn't about age - just that each child is gifted in their own unique way. And the way he would talk about these books made it absolutely clear that he 'got' what he heard. Be very glad that your child is childlike in this way (if she actually is) - it is a blessing.

At the time I firmly believed that being able to listen to books such as these was 'totally normal' and I couldn't fathom why other parents were 'wasting' their pre-bed reading time on 'Hop on Pop.' I've learned sooooooooo much since then.

Love and More Love,
Grinity