Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Scholar Award

DH and I received an email from DS' teacher that he's to receive an outstanding scholar award later this week.

I am underwhelmed by this. I know for a fact that most of what he's being applauded for is subject matter he already knew when we grade-skipped him.

I know why some gifted feel like imposters, but what about the feelings of the parents? We have been invited to attend the bestowing of said accolade and I feel like cringing.

DH said we should go to support DS. If for no other reason than he's received A's in Physical Ed and Music, both of which are difficult and new to him respectively.

But I wonder what this award is subtly teaching him. That he will receive recognition for not working that hard? For being a kid that has things come naturally to him? Sort of like a beauty contest...receiving a crown for what nature gave you?

Should I stress he's getting the award for those classes for which he placed a lot of effort and just let the rest go?

I understand your feelings about the award, it is not meaningful in the sense of recognizing hard work. It does recognize your child's academic talent and especially since it includes Phys Ed and Music.

I would go to support your child. You do not have to make a big deal of it. Having your parents attend school events is often very important to kids. Another reason to go is to show the school that you are an involved parent. This seems silly, but some schools will use it against you if you do not attend.

In atheletic competition, everyone (atheletically inclined or not) compete in the same race. When Michael Phelps was at his peak, you are competing for silver and you know that he is going to win gold.

Why should that be different in academic performance? Savor and enjoy the moment. We still can give him alternate facts and teach him lesons and encourage hard work.

Well said!

You've received great thoughts from so many posters.

I'll echo, "GO" and add two more ideas:

1) Take a picture! Have the photo printed and keep it in a scrapbook along with the announcement letter. When looking through his scrapbook in future years, there can be conversations about how he felt about this award, realizing that his perspective may change over time.

2) Document, document, document. It is often helpful for parents to begin a "resume" for their child, listing activities, awards, volunteerism, etc. This can be referred to in future years when completing applications for schools, jobs, scholarships, etc.

I would let it all go and not stress about any of this. Attend or not attend - it doesn't matter that much. I have gone to many award ceremonies and also skipped many others over the years. Just communicate with your DS so he is on board with your decision and what you believe.

Assuming that your DS is in elementary, keep in mind that these ceremonies are a great way for the parents to chat with each other.

At the same time, I do get what you are feeling. I mentally cringed every time I was invited to and attended a "Scholars Reception" for my oldest DS when he made the "Honor Roll" in high school. He is disabled (has significant brain damage, etc.) and only got those grades because I helped him. The "honor" was meaningless and rather ironic but the applause (nice students) made him happy so I attended.

Your statement really made an impression on me.
You're so right and I think I've been looking at this all wrong. Thank you!

Yes, Go...

And 1 and 2 of what indigo says above. It is fun to look back and sometimes you have to use the fluff and he did earn it.

It is when they get "most improved" or "effort" awards you really have to worried.