Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion How much to say to new teachers?

As the new school year approaches, I am curious to hear from others how much they say about their child to new teachers? This is not 2e DS's first year of school, but we are solidly in the early education years still, so hearing from those of you with more experience would be interesting. I have dualing impulses to (a) write a 300 page users guide to my kid and (b) just say "buckle your seat belts, it's gonna be a wild ride."
Obviously, something in between is needed 😉. I want to give them tools for success without overwhelming them or labeling him as a challenge. Do you lean towards more or less info? What was useful and what backfired?

I have never been able to figure this out. Some teachers seem to appreciate some information, and others don't seem interested at all. I would probably write an email with a paragraph summary and tell them if they would like to talk more or would like more info or suggestions on things that you've found that help, to let you know (and put your contact info). If child has a 504 or IEP, that can help because then there is at least something in writing that you can refer to, and with an IEP at least, someone is in charge of making sure it is implemented and communicating w/ the teachers. I have been trying to direct communications to IEP manager now that children are getting older and multiple teachers are involved w/ them. Many teachers seem to take too much communication directly from parents as criticism, unfortunately. I try to head this off by writing the email when school starts rather than waiting for something to go wrong.

Most of the time I've found it better to wait a few weeks. Not too long but enough the teacher can get their feet underneath them and get a chance to meet my kid. Many teachers are more receptive to the information after they have a good grasp that they do need to know a bit more about this kid, and they aren't so overwhelmed with everything being new.

I have always let the teachers figure it out as far as ability because around here so many parents brag about their kids and the teachers can get overwhelm the first few weeks until they get to know each student a little. On the other hand, if you have disability issues, I would not wait. With my oldest son, I wrote a detailed but focused email with relevant medical and educational background and issues at the beginning of the school year to every teacher. I have been thanked profusely each year at the IEP meeting for the incredible help it provided to the teachers.

No two e 's here. But in second grade I waited two weeks. Then went in and had a quick conference. He had two teachers and they were the best he has ever had.

A little story. At that conference I took in a big shopping bag full of books plus a list of many more to give them a visual aid of all the books and their level that he read over the summer. And I told them that I knew he understood them because he made me read them too and we had dinner time book club discussions especially if big brother had read them too. High level discussions. It was an impressive demonstration.

He still does that today four years later. I am supposed to read the newest Harry Potter this week because he wants to discuss it.

If you have a "Meet the Teacher" night, I have found that a great segue to set up a meeting a couple of weeks into school. The teacher is swarmed with parents all trying to quiz her, so if I take my turn to quickly suggest "I'm guessing you're having some challenges with DS about x and y?" And when she nods her head vigorously, I follow-up with "Maybe we could have a quick meeting to discuss how I can help you support his needs this year?", she always says yes. It seems a good way to make the meeting feel more teacher-imitated, and not aggressive-parent-pushed.

Granted, this tends to work because by two weeks, teachers always realize they have some challenges on their hands with my kids...

One thing to note. I have had teachers who admitted to me that they didn't realize my DD had an IEP until a month into the new school year. And this was a veteran teacher. So after that I always gave a heads up to that teacher that DD had an IEP.

Note that was the year the support specialist was brand new and blew me off when I mentioned something to her in the first few days. And who another parent found giving help for the wrong subject about 2 months in. She just had time in her schedule during math for that class, so she helped the two kids who had IEP's with math. When both had language based IEP's.

I had many problems that year. Her excuse was that DD didn't seem like she had an IEP since she was so cheerful & happy. She had some preconceived idea that kids will challenges must all be miserable in school by 5th grade. Yes my kid was quiet & otherwise cheerful didn't mean that she was doing OK. SIGH.. She's still that way totally charmed the person I hired to help her job search who has NO clue what she's capable of doing.

If I was advocating only for gifted differentiation, I'd hold off and not say anything - as mentioned above, there were usually a crowd of vocal parents in early elementary who were convinced their children were gifted and needed "something more" and were pushing for that something more from day 1 of class or even before.

With a 2e student however, I'd put together a one-page summary listing diagnosis and how it impacts your student in the classroom. Make it brief - longer than one page means the teacher is less likely to read or remember it. You can meet in person later to discuss in detail. If your child has an IEP or 504 already, mention it.

Every teacher we had in elementary really wanted that first 2 weeks or so to get to know our kids and come up with their own ideas re needs and how to deal with them in the classroom (both gifted and special needs). It was important to have accommodations etc in place and have teachers aware of challenges from the start, but it was easier and more productive to have conversations about gifted needs once the teacher had that chance to get to know my kids.

Best wishes,

polarbear

We have school supply drop off and meet the teacher day in our school. For both the kindergarten year and 1st grade, I went in and mentioned to the teachers that my DS7 was advanced but he was lacking social skills and may cause trouble if he was not occupied with some challenges. I did it really briefly just to give the teacher some warning. Then after a month or so I contact the teacher and ask how everything is going and then I get into more detail about his giftedness.

Just found out yesterday that DS7 is having the same 2nd grade teacher as my older DS. She met him a couple of times and was very impressed with what he already knew when he was in kindergarten. So I think she may already have some ideas what he's capable of. I am planning on having a brief conversation with her and see how much she knows about DS7 (the principal may have already informed her about my DS7 as I have been advocating for acceleration since 1st grade) and we will go from there.

Thanks for all the tips. I'll start working on that one page 2nd e handout for now.