Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Advice needed... profoundly gifted 1st grader

For the third year in a row, I'm faced with the recommendation of having my daughter skip a grade. When she was in Pre-K, her school principal suggested it; when she was in K, the principal and superintendent said they'd never seen anyone as advanced as she is and had no idea what to do with her aside from skipping or getting her into a gifted school... so I moved to a new district known for its gifted program, and nothing is different. The principal here has also suggested skipping. I just don't want to.

My kiddo is in 1st grade and reads on a 5th grade level and does math on a 3rd grade level. She is significantly beyond her peers socially as well, but she still loves her friends.

I want so badly to make it work. I don't want to rush her life along. I don't want her to find out there's no Santa a year sooner, or have her friends driving a year sooner, or have her dating a year sooner, or leaving for college a year sooner.

I need advice.

If you've chosen to keep a highly gifted kid in his or her normal grade, how did you make it work? They will likely bump her to a 2nd grade class for reading, but the principal said he's never heard of them doing that for math at this age. Last year she got different homework from her peers, but still had to sit through the same lessons (ABCs, 123s) that she learned when she was 18 months old. I can't even imagine how deadly boring it is for her to sit through phonics every day now, though she rarely complains. She just says school is too long.

For right now, I'm not looking for the "hey, you really should skip her" advice. I may get there, but I'm still hoping to find a way to keep her in 1st grade but with work that's challenging to her. Any advice or experiences to share?

I sounds like the perfect situation for a skip. I don't think not skipping could be made to work. Differentiation doesn't work.

Yes, schools do not suggest whole-grade acceleration lightly as it results in the child leaving the school one year sooner, which may translate to a loss of funding for that one pupil for that one year. As you mentioned, schools tend to suggest whole-grade acceleration when they have no idea what to do with a child.

If you recently moved in order for her to attend the gifted school this year and she already loves her friends in October, it sounds like she makes friends quickly.

Because this school is known for its gifted program, have they seen others like her before? Do they have others like her there now? Could they create a cluster group of kids with similar readiness and ability, possibly encompassing several grades?

Ultimately having a happy, well-adjusted kid is the goal: that's what works.

Since she performs math 2 years ahead and reads 4 years ahead, do you consider that she is rushing her life along?

The gifted ones sometimes figure this out quite quickly; They do not necessarily learn this factoid from others. They may cite "evidence" and inconsistencies which they have observed which led them to their conclusion. Upon quick-thinking and supportive conversation at home they may end up successfully humoring their classmates for years. You may want to plan now for that conversation, lest she be the child to present her findings to others at school thereby bringing down the wrath of many angry moms upon her.

Realistically, if she is 2-4 years ahead of her classmates in academics and noticeably ahead of them socially, she may not have friends among them a decade from now. They may simply be on a different wavelength. She may become a social isolate.

This is largely determined by family values and is not grade-dependent.

Some families find a gap year works, some enjoy early college, some may find local college to be an option.

1) It may be difficult but parents need to realize that our dreams for our kids do not always match the reality of the kid we have. The book A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children offers compassionate insight and shares the deep need these kids have to be accepted and supported for who they are.
2) You may wish to take a look at the IOWA Acceleration Scale (link- http://www.greatpotentialpress.com/iowa-acceleration-scale-3rd-edition-complete-kit) which helps parents and schools objectively weigh pros and cons regarding whole-grade acceleration.
3) What you are going through may be common; After time, parents look back and report they were in denial about the differences between their child and others, having been downplaying the differences.

Just focusing on the word "normal" here, some may say that as parents of gifted kids we have a new normal:
1) Our kids are normal but they are not typical.
2) Normal grade for these kids may be the grade at which they find intellectual peers, as opposed to being in a grade with age-mates.

Would the principal be willing to set that precedent? Would he be supportive of subject acceleration for math... testing and placing her with the appropriate math challenge and support? Even this is not ideal as gifted kids may need both appropriate placement and pacing; they often require fewer repetitions to learn something.

Have you asked her what she wants?

1) If not whole-grade acceleration, subject acceleration: Testing/placement in appropriate grade-level for math, reading?
2) Have you considered homeschooling?
3) Have you had your child tested? If so, what does the psych suggest?

Can't help you as I haven't been in your situation. I guess it is a change from people posting that they want their kid to have a grade skip but the school won't agree.

I don't think any of your reasons are as important as her being happy at school. Neither of my kids have ever really believed in Santa and it hasn't harmed them much.

My child is only 3, so I have no BTDT advice, but I do teach 1st and 2nd grade math, so maybe I can offer a different perspective.

I know there are a lot of people on this forum who have been burned by "differentiation" and I understand their opinions on the matter. Here's how I see it... Differentiation can work for a gifted child, but it is rare and dependent on the teacher's attitude toward giftedness, the teacher-child relationship, rigidness of the curriculum (and ability of the teacher to work within this rigidity), and the spoken & unspoken rules of the school/district. I will also say that the larger the gap between your child's abilities and the average abilities of the class, the less likely your child is to receive adequate instruction. (You should also consider the gap between your child and the "lowest" child in the room, as the focus is often more on bringing up the "low" kids than ensuring progress for the "high" kids.)

Here's how I currently make it work for my 2nd grade classes (The same model works for 1st grade, but right now I don't have a wide range of abilities in my first grade classes. Just an odd year.)...

1. We typically start with a short activity or whole group instruction that I see as beneficial to all the students in the room. I try to keep this short (less than 15 minutes).

2. Seat work - next the kids do problems from the text, or another assignment. Often this is skill practice for my gifted kids, but if the class assignment isn't beneficial for them, I'll assign different work.

3. Small groups - while the kids are doing their assigned problems, I pull 4 or 5 kids at a time for small group work. Each kid gets different problems, so the "average" kid might be building 86 with base ten blocks and showing me how to change it to make 46... but a gifted kid might be building 1,862 and showing me how to change it to make 1,462.

4. Packets - when the kids are done with the daily assignment, they can work on a fun packet. My kids love doing math mazes that involve algebraic thinking. Often I'll make multiple packets. The majority of the class might get a set of mazes that deal with addition of numbers under 25, while the gifted child might get a set that deals with bigger numbers (or maybe multiplication if he/she is ready).

5. Homework - Not everyone needs the same homework, but it sounds like your school is already open to this (many are not!).

This is just an idea of how differentiation has worked for me. However, as I stated earlier, the larger the gap between your child and the rest of the group, the more difficult it becomes to provide instruction that provides meaningful progress (and some teachers are better at it than others). Your child is 2 years ahead in math, and that is particularly difficult for most 1st grade teachers because the students aren't as independent as they are in later grades.

Hope this helps!

My DS9 is not skipped, though looking at the general experience here one would expect him to be (the year in which he was 6 on this date, he was reading like an adult and finishing the maths syllabus normally done by 16yos). In the first couple of years of school he had enough difficulty with handwriting and certain social/emotional stuff that, though school brought up the issue and we discussed it seriously, we all decided it wasn't in his interests to skip. These days, he easily could; but now he has a solid social position, school is used to meeting his needs, and we're looking towards his next school, which may involve his boarding hundreds of miles away, something we're not at all keen on his doing while younger than his peers. So we're still not doing it.

It is not ideal, even though we are very, very lucky with his school. The (private) school is extremely well resourced with classes around 15, setting in most subjects by this point, and subject-specialist (crucial, I think) teachers with time, skill and willingness to differentiate properly. He has had his own maths work all along and the school does most reading individually anyway; he's always been encouraged to choose books that are appropriate for him and allowed to bring books from home if he chooses. They seem to do a lot of guided discussion in class, which he enjoys, and tasks are differentiated by outcome - it seems to work that each child is encouraged to the next level. Science uses well-equipped laboratories and does plenty of experiments, which makes up for the fact that he normally knows the theory being explored before they start.

He's had a certain amount of teasing from children in years above his, when they've discovered he can do things they can't, and school has dealt with this well. His own year has generally been very accepting. Fortunately he is not always the best at everything (although of course he is in maths, and in the early years his reading was way ahead of the others): there are several very clever children in the year.

Overall, it's working for him. I don't think it could possibly have worked in a traditional primary school setting with one teacher teaching almost all subjects to an unset class, though.

What is the gifted program like and when does it start? Has your child had an IQ test?

My children are not profoundly gifted, but neither is skipped. DD is not a good skip candidate due to emotional immaturity and anxiety/depression. DS IS a good skip candidate, but for right now we are not skipping him, and we probably will not do so, although it is not off the table. Their respective schools brought up skipping for both of them (for DD, it was discussed as "Many people would want to skip her, BUT..."; for DS it was lightly suggested and we nixed it). However, we are fortunate to have a full-day public gifted school available to us so this is much less of an issue than it would be for others. (School starts in gr 2, so our kids have to deal with school for K and 1.)

I think it is important to understand that not skipping is not a benign choice. There might be good reasons not to skip, but I believe it is crucial to understand how not skipping could cause much more profound problems (crippling perfectionism, imposter syndrome, underachievement than friends driving a year earlier. (My dd will be in this situation next year and she really doesn't care--she is thriving with the skip. While I will not be thrilled for her to go to college a year early she, at 12, is already very excited about the prospect of being done with her masters and working in her chosen field sooner.) Do you know how unusual it is for the school to be suggesting a skip? I know you don't want advice to skip her, but it seems impossible to respond to this without saying that it seems unlikely her intellectual needs will be met without a skip. They might not be met even with a skip, which of course could be a reason to keep her in her current grade. Have you considered homeschooling? And are you familiar with this site: http://www.accelerationinstitute.org/

Good luck to you, I know these decisions are tough!

A tale of 2 kids:

My older DD (who is borderline MG) was born at the end of October and we (barely) grade skipped her to 1st garde at 5. My youger DD (PG) was born at the end of March and we skipped her to 1st grade at 5 as well. We moved last year to a school district with dedicated gifted program. My older DD is getting by (I even enouraged her to drop from TAG program) but it still does not challenge my my younger DD and we may have to subject accelerate again. (she is asking for it).

I prefer subject acceleration because when they compete in tournaments or talent search, sometimes they enter as their respective grades instead of age. (My PG DD still gets qualifying score for SCAT and EXPLORE even with the grade skip). It is difficult to do subject acceleration in elementary years. (I have seen the successful advocacy in another thread but the odds are not in our favor especially with budget cuts.) If nothing available, I would vote for skip (at least) a grade.

Some may find that a PG child still languishes in this environment; LOG matters.

Mommajay, you may wish to look into applying for your child to be a Davidson Young Scholar (DYS) if you have not done so already, and possibly consider the Davidson Academy of Reno Nevada for middle and high school (link- http://www.davidsongifted.org/)