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Quick summary:

DD is in K at a school that comes highly recommended. She can't seem to be identified by AG because A) that's really rare before end of grade 3 here and B) AG teacher lacked follow through at the beginning of the year and is now in CYA mode.

DD reads 5th/6th grade books for fun, answering any and all questions 100% correctly. She does 3rd-4th grade workbooks independently at home. At school, first semester she got some accommodations. Second, none at all, and is getting the exact same worksheets she got at the beginning of the year.

Things we've tried:
1) Meeting with teacher for PTC (she said no need, since DD is ahead).
2) Pursuing single subject acceleration in language arts (told we can attempt it, but process will take a year, maybe more, so we can apply in the fall of 1st to hope for acceleration in 2nd)
3) Skip (same issue as single subject acceleration)
4) In class accommodations (will happen for a couple of weeks after talk with teacher, but no more, and we were told that she doesn't have time to work with advanced kids for the rest of the year)

No idea what to do at this point. The year wait was confirmed by the AIG coordinator at the school, as well as the district AIG coordinator. I plan to talk to the principal, and we've requested a better fit teacher, but told no guarantee. Principal has been out of town, and I'm not sure what I'd say at this point...I feel like all doors are closed.

Help!

Thank you MoN, that was exactly what I needed to read today.

Beautifully said.

As a side note, one of my dear friends has a daughter who I suspect is exceptionally gifted if not profoundly. She was so misunderstood by her fifth grade teacher, so unappreciated and ignored that my friend agreed to homeschool. When my friend told her daughter of her plan (her daughter had been begging for it for a couple of months) her daughter cried with relief.

Hi Mick,

Glad to see you made it . Mick's dd and my ds are in the same district and it is very difficult to get thing done as the District is just so large and unwieldy that turning the boat requires monumental effort despite policy being in place. The main thing is to be sure you have early AG entry. You won't get any accomodations without it. Call the AIG head and request a meeting outlining everything you've done this year and copy your principal. Request a response within the week with a meeting/conf call within two weeks. Let her know in writing that you are nominating your dd for Early AG recognition per policy so they must respond. It will take a semester but is required if you've not yet gotten that far. They will have to pay for testing after reviewing her portfolio, including work she has done at home. Once testing proves she is at 98th percentile for the WISC-IV and the Woodcock Johnson III Achievement test, she will then be granted an IEP to meet her needs. That IEP will outline what will be done for differentiation. Getting that IEP to be worth anything is another story as we've found. Having it just gives me something to bring up and is only updated once per year, usually several months into the year, very frustrating while the first quarter is wasted AGAIN. Each school seems to implement the IEP on their own with no standard to follow particularly when it comes to measuring growth. There really is no growth measurement or way to be sure to force them to change the IEP if it's not effective.

In the meantime, keep her challenged by sending in books at her level for her to read, ask if she can get log ins to the higher grade level math computer programs that are used during centers, see if they will pair her with an older child mentor, etc. (We finally got that but it's really overblown as to its affect..my son thinks it's stupid while the teacher thinks it's a great partnership!), do what you want to assist her and make them stop you rather than asking for permission .

Shannon L.

Great response, MoN. I might need to come back and read it again next year when DS starts K.

As for harm, we have gone back and forth about this over the year, but, ultimately, we do feel that she *is* being harmed. She's a child prone to anxiety and depressive thoughts, which we have worked hard to nip in the bud. But I think most telling is seeing her become a different child during school breaks, and the fact that she walks out of school *every day* looking like someone just killed her puppy. I ask her what's up, and she says "Same stuff. Every day. Same stuff." She says her teacher thinks she's stupid, has cried repeatedly that she wants to be homeschooled, etc. We thought for awhile it was getting better, but it has flared up in full force again. Her confidence is nil.

As for early identification, we were told by the AG coordinator at our school that she absolutely, positively, never, ever, ever identifies before end of third grade unless we are looking for a full grade skip. She says she has met DD and she believes that DD will absolutely, positively NOT qualify (she met with her on the first day of Kindergarten during recess. She has not spoken to her since; she agrees this is the case, but says she got a good read on DD that first day). We cannot nominate unless we bring outside testing proving that she is above 98th percentile, and we may do that only if we are pursuing a full grade skip. At mid-year of K, when we asked about it, we did not want to skip her. My partner still does not want to skip her, as she believes that homeschool is the best course of action. Since the bulk of that would fall on me, and I have several reasons why I don't think next year is a good year to start homeschool, I'm reluctant to jump to that choice.

We have sent in books for her to read, after asking the teacher if that would be okay. The first day we sent one, they had library. The teacher handed her a library book, grade level 1.9 (written in the back of the book) and explained to her that this would be a better book, because children like this sort of book very much, and said she should read it instead of the chapter book that she was loving at home. There are other things this teacher has done to let me know that she is quite deliberately squelching DD's reading in particular, despite the fact that she readily admits that DD can read and understand anything put in front of her...she says it is important for children to read closer to grade level for content reasons, and that DD must learn to retell without including such things as symbolism, because that is incorrect.

Bit of a ramble there, but, basically, yes, there clearly is harm being done, and I feel like the AG coordinator is not going to work with us in the least unless we have outside testing and want a grade skip. Maybe she needs one. I don't know. But I'm reluctant to send her to test with someone who doesn't think she's capable, as I'm worried DD will pick up on that and perform where she's "supposed" to perform. She loves to fit in, and works hard, because she hates being different. Yet refers to her classmates as "the human children", so she's clearly conflicted.

I'm thinking about a principal meeting, and bypassing the AG coordinator altogether, but I don't know what I'd say. I'm also tempted to see if we can work a transfer to a different school, but I think I'm too late on that one unless we have a super compelling reason (like moved to a different town).

Uh, wow. Did she test your DD? Or is this just going on a first impression? She really said, "I absolutely believe your child will not qualify"? WTH.

Well, I'm paraphrasing She did NOT test her, but reiterated at midyear that, " You may remember that I did an informal investigation to check her reading fluency and comprehension skill level. In September, she was beyond what we would expect of a student entering kindergarten, but not at a level that demonstrated need two to three years above grade level." She then said we were welcome to get outside testing "But, please note, test scores by themselves cannot identify a student".

Based on some inquiries I had before we chose this school, AIG teacher contacted us prior to start of school, asking for some materials demonstrating DD's abilities. I sent in a couple of short videos with reading and math. Greek myths, Harry Potter, adding fractions and subtraction with borrowing. She said it sounded like she was a great candidate and she'd meet with her.

First day of school here is staggered entry for K'ers. They go one day that first week, and classes are picked at the end of that week. AIG teacher met with her on staggered entry day. Confirmed with us at end of week that DD was a great candidate and she would be doing further testing within the next two weeks and get with us.

Never heard from her again that semester, despite emails to her asking. Follow up in January saying that, since August hadn't worked, I wanted to formally nominate. Which is when I got back the bit about how she'd met with DD that first day. She said that DD couldn't do her letter sounds or even all of the lowercase letters, and that was an issue.

It was also a blatant lie, and NOT what she had told us on that other day. There was another child in the class who had been nominated by her parents; I heard the AIG teacher explain to those parents that their DD didn't qualify. I don't know if she got confused, or what happened, honestly.

I don't know. Maybe I'm completely delusional, but it just doesn't feel like it. And the teacher happily confirms that she's hugely advanced, but also confirms that she can't/won't do much for her.

I don't mind advocacy taking time, but I'm worried I've already waited too long, and she's *so* frustrated. I'm tempted to fight for a school switch, but she'd be getting what she gets now.

Gah... reading your post, mon, reminds me just how much I wish I could homeschool DS9. He truly is a different kid when he's not in school. He loves learning when it's outside the school setting... he rarely has meltdowns or fits of anger. Life is just so much easier... but momma's gotta pay the rent.

MoN is saying pretty much everything that I'd say, too.

To that wisdom, I'll just add-- having a HG+ "pleaser" daughter, who is prone to anxiety, perfectionism, and depressive thoughts...

listen to your heart. You know your child. It sounds to me as though your inner voice is whispering to you that this situation is harming your DD far more than your rational brain will admit right now.

Listen to that voice. You can't hit "un-do" on this kind of emotional damage with some kids-- and you've listed what I'd call red flags there, in terms of your DD's inherent personality characteristics and her awareness of her circumstances. She sounds very willing to internalize the message here-- that being "you're a problem because you don't just sit there and do what you're told. There is something WRONG with YOU."

I don't think that I'd leave my child in a place where she was being told that every day.