Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Accelerated Kindy kid not showing what he knows

So, we are back to the same issue with DS's math class again. Teacher thinks DS can't do the work and should go down to 1st grade math. I think DS is choosing not to do the work based on the fact that he finds it "boring" and that moving to 1st grade will only exacerbate the problem. There may be some things that he needs to catch up on because, as I've said in previous posts, math was not usually his main interest. We have been back to having issues with requiring the use of the various algorithms to do problems that he already knows how to work "the old-fashioned way". I also got word today that his 2nd grade teacher was trying to do a DRA reading assessment with DS today but that DS wasn't being cooperative. (Not reading words or answering questions that he obviously knew) We have a meeting scheduled with both his K and 2nd grade teachers tomorrow to try and figure out what to do about this. Anyone else have issues with a gifted kid shutting down and not showing what they know?

My kid often refuses to show what he knows. He will tell us that school is boring, so we remind him that the only way the teachers will know what he can do is to show them. He is very sensitive to random adults quizzing him, but he is OK with the teachers doing it in appropriate situations. They all admit that they probably don't really know what he can do, but they have a decent idea.

I would try talking to your son about what he wants, how he feels about school, and the reasons he needs to show the teachers exactly what he can do. We only did a one year acceleration for our son in reading only, and in class individualization for math. He could have done a two year acceleration in both reading and math, but none of us wanted to do that. Socially, emotionally and work production/stamina and attention, behavior, etc were not sufficient for a two grade acceleration as a kindergartener.

What does your DS say about why he is not being cooperative? (I'd inquire about the math and the DRA separately.)

Just throwing this out there as a possibility - if he is aware that there is a desire on the part of one of his teachers to send him back down a grade, he may be reluctant to do anything that might show work that might be wrong for fear of being sent to the lower class in disgrace. He might not really grasp that not doing the work or cooperating with an assessment is practically guaranteed to get him sent back.

Feeling like he has to prove himself to stay in his class could be a big source of stress: most children may worry about getting bad marks, or even failing and being retained in grade, but they aren't worried about being sent back to a lower grade in the middle of the year.

I hope you can get this all straightened out soon in a way that works out well for you child. Hang in there.

Our DD shut down horribly in K, to the point where she tried to pretend she didn't know how to draw a letter T properly (she'd been writing beautifully for over two years by then). Our solution was a complete school detox. We pulled her out and homeschooled her for the rest of the year, giving her work at her appropriate challenge level, which rekindled her love of learning.

She's back at school and still not appropriately challenged, but it's not as bad. More importantly, she doesn't let the school crush her soul anymore.

Been there. I pulled my eg/pg ds6 from a private gifted school because he shut down horribly in preschool last year; he's refuses to do subtraction or multiplication at another private gifted school like he did last year at the other school. He claims that kindergarten kids don't do multiplication, which is true except for him. URGH. Next year (or psychosomatic symptoms this year) = homeschool! It's annoying with schools and these kids.

My son's school is stuck on doing timed math tests, which are tedious and boring.

Bear (5) can read, but we have no idea how well. He can do math, same issue. He won't demonstrate even for us, in fact he flat out tells us "I can't read!" when confronted with the fact that we saw him doing so. I wonder if it's a learned behavior ("Three year olds can't read") or just his anxiety of not doing it right the first time...

Wish I had more to offer you, but at least you aren't alone!

Could it be that he is trying to fit in so he is behaving like he sees others in his class behaving? A friend's DD observes her classmates and matches their level or competence to a T! She will get grades in the middle of the pack, will only read the stuff that they are reading and act as smart as the people she hangs out with are. She is a real chameleon because fitting in and not drawing attention to herself is so important to her.