Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy DD8 reading Anne Frank at school

DD's teacher tells me that she has checked out The Diary of Anne Frank from the school library. DD is VERY VERY sensitive--as in, she is known to weep hysterically over Pixar films. I would never have chosen for her to read this at this age and have only recently been tentatively introducing info about the world wars. Hadn't talked about the holocaust yet at all.

I am debating trying to get her to return the book, but I'm sure she'll resist and censoring her reading doesn't sit well with me. So I may just have to deal with the questions and sadness. I'd really appreciate hearing from others who have approached this topic with sensitive kids this age.

Oh, dear. TBH, although I don't like censoring reading either, I think I would try to get her to return the book. I'd be straight about it: "That's a really, really sad true story and I think you might find it very upsetting. It's a good book to read, but I think you should wait until you're quite a bit older." Even if you needed to tell her the ending in outline ("She hides from the Nazis for a long time, but in the end she is found and killed.") knowing it wouldn't be as upsetting as reading the book, getting to know her as it were, and then finding out that she dies. My DS8 isn't extremely sensitive, and he does know about the Holocaust in outline, but still I wouldn't want him reading this yet.

Yes, I am definitely going to tell her it's very sad and reveal the ending if she insists on reading it. I plan to try to talk her out of it, but knowing DD, I will not succeed.

I am a little miffed at the librarian in a way, but OTOH I'm glad she's allowed to choose her own books from wherever....oh man.

I would ask her if anyone recommended her about that book or why she picked that book. And if she knows anything about the story of Ann Frank.

If she did not know, I would give a short version of Anne's life and give her a warning. If she decides she still wants to read, I would let her.

My daughter (10) read this book recently. It raised many discussions and debates. I pre-read it first, just to prepare myself as I hadn't read it in many, many years... but decided that it was probably OK. What surprised me were the frank discussions in the diary about Anne's relationship with her mother (very fiesty) and her romantic liaison with Peter van D (eek!). It's not a "light" read though so I guess I would check the forecast after the prologue...

jojo

Honestly, it is quite likely she picked it because she's interested in diaries. That's how innocent I suspect this was.

My DD is on the opposite end of the spectrum... when she was 5 she found a book on the JFK assassination lying around and demanded to know what the pictures were depicting. I wasn't sure if she could handle it emotionally, but she did quite well, and she was fascinated by the topic... enough so that it's worth planning a trip to Dallas in the not too distant future.

However, if my little DD was where yours is, I'd intervene. This sounds like a clear case of uneven development, where her cognitive domain is way ahead of her emotional domain. I'd hold the book from her until her emotional development is in the right place for it.

My daughter was very sensitive at this age and couldn't read anything scary - meaning anyone dies in the story. When she hit around 13, she suddenly enjoyed reading scary and sad stories.

She became interested in Anne Frank and we watched the movies at this time.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that this might be an indication that she is becoming less sensitive or that the book may help her become so, without losing the good parts of it that I know you value.

Ultra, tough stuff.

My policy with my sensitive kids is to avoid this sort of thing (where we know it will be a trauma) if we can-- but if we can't, if it's already in our orbit and unavoidable, we talk about it, prepare the child for it, and hope for the best.

Sometimes it turns out better than we thought it would. Sometimes we just have to do damage control afterward. Can't tell.

Over time there HAS to be exposure to the difficult stuff... but nicer when you can choose the appropriate moment.

Good luck,
DeeDee