Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Please read this!

I've been searching and searching for the Link to this "wonderful article" called The Least-Worst Educational Option
by Carolyn K., director, Hoagies' Gifted Education Page

I think it is sanity saving for all parents trying to make decisions about education for their children.
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/least-worst.htm

Read it and tell me what you think, ok?
Trinity

Perfect! I'm bringing out the poster board!
Cym

Poster Board! LOL!

Sanity Saving? Unfortunately, I think it might be too late to save my sanity. My daughter thinks I get too depressed about things that I have no control over.

Since we have always had a very limited budget, we have always had to consider pros and cons when making educational decisions. For instance, my husband and I had to decide if we should take our child out of piano and musical theatre so we could afford swimming lessons and PE. We decided to keep him in musical theater because that is where all of his friends are and piano helped with fine motor skills. We finally were able to enroll him in a twice a week YMCA homeschool PE class this month that includes use of the swimming pool, but his sensory integration issues and hypotonia seem even more apparent now that he is older and he said he felt like he had nothing in common with the other homeschooled kids.

So I was wondering if I had made the wrong choice the whole time I watched him in PE today. I thought maybe it was too late to develop physical skills now, that I should have taken him out of musical theater and paid for PE classes years ago, but when he went to his musical theater class I changed my mind. For some reason three older boys in the group couldn't make it tonight and my son was the only one singing the boys' part. I thought he and I would both be in trouble because I was supposed to make sure he practiced and we just didn't have time. I told him before practice that he could stand next to one of the older boys and the teacher would hopefully not be able to tell that he hadn't practiced. He ended up having to sing by himself on the boy parts and he sang very, very well. He has a really nice voice and I didn't even realize this because he won't sing like that for me and he has never volunteered to do a solo in their musicals. He always seemed to prefer singing with a group of kids. The teacher seemed surprised that he could sing so well and complimented him. She said it was obvious that he had spent a lot of time practicing when he hadn't even listed to the CD at home.

I hate having to decide between nuturing his gifts and doing things that might help with the hypotonia and sensory issues. It is really hard to know if I am doing the right thing sometimes.

Trinity-

I really like that piece too. I posted it on my site a few months ago.

Lori-

I have been in your shoes. What about continuing the piano and theater but doing a PE program at home? It's NOT too late, but I think it will help your son more if you do it sooner rather than later. When our oldest (PG son with AS, hypotonia) wasn't doing any sports or running around in the yard, DH designed an exercise program for him. This included running, push-ups, and sit-ups. J HATED it at first, and it took him tons of effort before he could do even one push-up. But soon enough, he was running well, had better endurance, and he morphed from a chubby boy into a lean one. You can also look at The Out of Sync Child Has Fun for ideas on what to do at home for sensory issues. It's a fantastic resource.

take care-

The developmental pediatrician that my son saw a couple of years ago recommended The Out of Sync Child Has Fun, but I had a hard time getting him to do any of the suggested activities. We did get a chin up bar for his room and with a lot of work he was able to do chin ups. We also bought a weight machine and he likes to use that. He just doesn't have the coordination the other kids have and I don't know if that can be fixed. He did learn to skip at age 5 (with a lot of practice)and spin around (part of a dance) without falling to the floor but he still looks a little klutzy when he does it. He still looks nervous about going up and down stairs without holding on to something. He is built just like my husband, tall and slender, except my son's legs don't look like they have any muscle. My husband was very good in sports, especially running. He says our son does not have the coordination to be a runner so he thinks he needs to try something else. Some people have recommended martial arts and we might try that.

Several months ago, when a younger kid chased him around the room and my son couldn't get away from him he sat down next to me and told me that all the other kid's bodies come with better "handling" and they were like race cars but he was more like a Model T. It is a problem when he has to learn dances and he has to have extra help to learn them. I think it is hard for other people to understand why he can learn lines faster than most of the other kids, even the teenagers, but he has trouble with the dances. Sometimes kids ask him why he is weak and I know he gets tired of this. I have heard them ask him this even after he was able to do chin ups. So he might be thinking it is a waste of time. He would rather do Wii Sports at home but sometimes he seems so lonely and I wish we could find something better. He doesn't like it when I worry about this and has told me that he wished I would just accept him the way he is.

The PE class is definitely not working so he will quit that after this month. Games like dodge ball might be good for most kids but my son ends up sitting on the bench most of the time and is usually the last kid to be picked to play now that they have seen he can't play very well.

I would really like for him to learn to swim and if he could just do that it would be great. We tried private lessons once and the teacher just kept looking at me like she didn't know what to do with him because he was holding on to her so tight and was reluctant to try anything because he was so worried about getting water splashed in his face and going under water. He has always liked taking baths at home though, so this never made sense to me.

He had hoped that me would meet some kids like him at the PE class and he was kind of disappointed. He made the comment "they just think I'm white and nerdy" like the line from the Weird Al Yankovic song. He just laughs it off but I just feel sad for him. He says all of his friends are in public school and they are, but if he went to school he would not be allowed in their classes. They are three and four years older and gifted. They told him about how much fun band is and the robotics class and I wish he could homeschool and just go to those classes but the school will not allow it and I can't put him in a school that refuses to provide an appropriate education for 2E kids. He says he doesn't want to go back to school anyway. He likes being able to take lots of breaks to play MMORPG games, Runescape, and watch Naruto. He even bought a Naruto game in Japanese. He says he would like to learn to read Japanese. I think some of the video games make it easier for him to pretend he is strong and for that reason I probably let him play them more than I should.

Hi Lori,
I hope you will give swimming another try. Water can be a great equalizer. My dd is terribly uncoordinated. She is always the last one in a race and usually by a large margin. But she swims like a fish. Exercising in water is great because it builds muscle tone and provides a cardiovascular workout.

My younger dd is much more athletic than my older but she would not cooperate during swimming lessons. I just decided to teach her myself. I have found that just letting kids play in the pool frequently (without floaties or life vests) helps them to become comfortable in the water. Yes, it takes more work on your part at first but it pays off in the long run. I never let my kids wear floaties and they were both competant swimmers by age four. Also, if coordinating hands and feet at the same time is difficult, your child can use a kickboard or noodle to practice kicking.

Also remember that swimming does not require that a child have perfect form. Many kids prefer to swim underwater like an otter or frog. If your child likes to study animals, he could do experiments in the water to study different types of animal swimming styles.

I just sent an email to the YMCA where my son started taking PE lessons. I told them I needed help finding swimming lessons and advice for improving his coordination, strength and endurance and I also told them there was no way I could afford to pay more than $40 a month. I am waiting to see what they suggest.

I hope they won't be like the public school and tell me that they have never seen another kid like him and I will be left with trying to figure it out on my own.

When my son was almost four his three year old friend next door drowned in a backyard swimming pool. My son did not want to take lessons then. This might be part of the reason he is afraid in the pool.

I understand how this could make him afraid of the pool. Maybe he is old enough now to understand that the best safety measure against drowning is learning how to swim. That is one of the reasons it was important for me to have my kids swimminng well at a young age. My friend has a pool in her backyard and always has her kids wear floaties. It is just easier for her. One day her 4 year old daughter jumped in without her floaties. She did not realize that she wouldn't float without them. I don't think she was close to actually drowning but it was extremely tramatic for her.

I hope the swimming lessons go well.

Summer