Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Gifted kids not working up to ability middleschool

Hi. I'm new here. Looking for thoughts of those who have been there before. My seventh grader qualifies as gifted and talented. In fact she scored well enough on the SAT which she took this year to qualify for state recognition in the Duke TIP program. She scores in the 99th percentile in reading on the MAP test and its in the 95th or so for math. However this school year (7th) has been a rough one for her. She has made Bs and Cs (averaging around 84)in Advanced English and Advanced Pre Algerbra all year. Though she finally got her act in gear and is doing much better in math. This is due to several things most mostly her not doing homework or only putting a half hearted effort in math. And a bad match with her teacher in English. (This is a really poor teacher for gifted students. With endless worksheets and requiring them to spit back rote answers rather than focusing on higher order thinking questions).
Anyway all that to say I believe she is not working up to her potential in those classes. Ugh. So frustrating. The end of the year has rolled around and it's time to register for classes for next year. Although she more than qualifies based on MAP scores for The ninth grade level Eglish and Algerbra class (She will be in 8th grade) However her grades aren't high enough.
Now I have the option of parental over ride and can get her in these classes anyway. I am having hard time deciding if I should or not.
I know she could handle the work of she choose to. I know she needs to be challenged and part of the problem this year was boredom. However she is work adverse. Particularly busy work which she considers unnecessary Hopefully these higher level classes will have more meaningful classes and less busy work Right now she wants to get into these classes and is making all kinds of promises about how she's going to keep up with the homework and projects but I am afraid when it comes down to it we are going to have a battle on our hands.
Looking for advice.

What are your daughter's academic strengths? Is she much stronger in math than English, etc? What topics is she excited about? Has she got any thoughts about a future career yet?

I would think about that, but also, can you get more information about the classes for 8th grade and the homework load/teacher style? Maybe you would push ahead in English, but not math as another option to think about.

I am finding a big change going on starting in grade 6 socially. The drugs and sex start. It shocked me. I have been educating DD for the last 2 years on these issues but I was still shocked when they appeared and escalated as fast as they did. DD talks to me because I educated her. Some girls are on a dozen social media sites. One girl takes provocative pictures of herself and has 2000 followers. Some guy sent a note asking her to rate his penis from 1-10. Grade 6 gifted classes. This is her lunchroom conversation. And then there is the game. Kiss, Marry and F---. Yes, you say who you want to Kiss, marry etc. DD did not participate and said she did not find this fun. But when you look at what is going on in middle school, I suggest looking real close. 2 kids got expelled last week, 4 suspended, for marijuana and alcohol. Those were grades 7 & 8 students. Taking DD out next year, she is going to HG school that is 7-12. Since there are 2 levels of exams to get into the school, those kids should be focusing on other things than sexualization of themselves.

Been there... and sort of still doing that. DS17 is a junior in H.S. and this could have been him in junior high.

I'd say have a conference with her counselor before making any hard and fast decisions. While she could be just bored three might be other things going on. I thought my son's was only bored, and pushed for the honors science placement in H.S. He was recommended for everything else. He has a science teacher like your DD's English one, homework grades were based on completion and terrible although he had a 99% grade on tests. But when DS was put in all honors in 9th grade he ended up having to pull out of honors English, and crashed and burned by the end of the year because of the homework load and stress. We ended up doing a full battery of neurosurgery testing that summer which has helped us understand him. He now has a 504, we have focused on keeping his anxiety down. He takes only honors in math & science and not English & Social Studies. I also find that DS gets better grades at advanced classes because homework is a smaller percentage of the grade.

Thank you. I am considering just pushing ahead in one subject. Probably English because it really is her stronger subject and I think she could really excel given the right teacher. It is the work load that concerns me with both of these classes as she really is rather lazy. In fact what her math teacher said when I was discussing the Algerbra with her was that she would do fine with the concepts but she is concerned about her work ethic.
When she is interested in learning something though she'll work really hard at learning it and this quarter in math she started getting her homework done and her average shot up to a 97.

She really wants to take the advanced classes. She has a small group of friends - mostly geeky ones. Mostly she just obsesses over her books sometimes hurrying through her assignments to get back to reading.
I do know that she is not very motivated by grades. She knows how to do enough to get by.
She likes to learn but hates busy work. Which homework often is.

This is a helpful reply. It's good to know I am not alone. Do you think it was the wrong decision to push for your son to get into the gifted science class.?
The way her school is set up English and math will be the only advanced classes she could take.
I have talked with the guidance counselor and the vice principal and her math teacher. They were all for her taking the advanced English. I was told it's a lot of reading but that part absolutely won't be a problem for her. They kind of left the math up to me. She has the ability to do the math but I am concerned about the work load. Not sure if she has the motivation to put in the work it would take. Her math teacher feels the same way. You can't get by in math without doing homework no matter how smart you are.
Do you have any tips on motivating these kids to get homework done?
I want her to be challenged though.

I think she is old enough to have some say in the matter. (Assuming it's not just about staying with friends or thinking she'd lose face).
Two different scenarios to think through:

What if you exercise parental override, put her into the more challenging classes and she crashes and burns? Can she drop the classes, move into less challenging classes? Would this be highly unusual in her school? What if she continues to get Bs and Cs, would this be a problem? For whom? (Asking this coming from an educational culture in which people would keep their kid in the highest track possible no matter bad grades as long as the kid does not actually flunk out with Fs, rather than keeping children at a level they can make As).

What if you put her in the classes she's qualified for according to her grades and it turns out she is way under challenged? Can she move up? Does she lose the chance of a more advanced math track or similar for good?

Basically, which is the situation easiest to correct if things go pear shaped.

I would be reluctant to pull someone off a higher level track because of junior high grades. I struggled a lot at that age but I think getting yanked from the classes would have made me feel even worse. Organizational skills and confidence were probably my biggest struggle. I was alllll over the place emotionally, too, it was not pretty.

When it clicked it clicked and I was fine. And then I decided on my own to focus on AG math and not English, but in a way that framed it as what my interests were, not as a failure.

If she wants to drop down I would let her. If not I would try to find a way to make it work.

But my oldest kid is 6, so take my advice with a grain of salt ...