Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy What differentiation to ask for?

DS8 just entered third grade and we're having a really hard time with the school. In our district the kids change schools every 3 years, so we're working with a whole new admin, teachers, etc. Last year he completed the 3rd grade math curriculum while in 2nd. This year they are making him repeat it because "3rd graders do math at 10 and 4th graders do math at 11 so the schedule just doesn't work." On language arts things are marginally better but they still have him years behind where he is. Ugh. He is sad, miserable, angry and acting out.

We had him tested and he had 142 GAI and all his Woodcock-Johnson tests showed him performing in middle-school grade equivalency (which I know is not a great way to describe the data, but just to give you a sense). Dx with mild ADHD (although one neurpsy questions the other on that) and shows some mild SPD symptoms, too.

We met with the full team (school psych, teacher, gifted teacher, social worker, special ed) at the beginning of the year and they just looked at us like deer in headlights over requests for academic differentiation. I talked to the principal yesterday and he was honestly even worse -- heart of gold but utterly clueless. It's clear to me that we are going to have to be the ones demanding specific academic differentiation and I seriously don't know what to ask for. Do I demand he sit in on 4th grade classes? Try to do 1/2 days at school and 1/2 days at home doing distance learning through CTD, Stanford, etc.?

So I'm hoping for examples from the great and generous minds here -- what do your kiddos differentiation plans look like? What did you ask for? What works?

We skipped our DD8 into 4th grade, and it still wouldn't be enough if she didn't also have access to a daily G/T pull-out for math and language arts. Before that was finally in place, our solution was homeschooling.

Welcome!

Last year we were going to ask for both LA and math acceleration and we were told we might as well accelerate him a whole year. Our elementary school was extremely supportive and really, that made all the difference. Our gifted specialist was the one who suggested an IQ test for ds after viewing his Explore test. After the IQ she went ahead and did an Iowa Assessment Scale which essentially determines, based on a number of factors, whether or not a child would make an excellent candidate for whole grade skipping. Once that was done, we all met and talked about options. After a bit of hesitancy on our part, not on ds's, we went for the whole grade skip.

Now ds11 is in 7th grade. The first week didn't count because the state messed up the schools' computer programs and nothing was right. Once the dust settled, I have to say I'm a believer.

I'd read a lot about underachievement and how it can happen with kids who aren't being challenged and therefore learn to tune out, but I wasn't sure how much was hyperbole. Did my perfectionist son really want a challenge, would he really be okay with getting less than an A?

So far this year, this is the reality I see: His two most difficult and rigorous courses are his favorites. He was more proud of the low A in his interim report for his most rigorous class and his B for his compacted math class (in which he's learning basically a year's worth of math in six-weeks of review with a bit of supplement at home), than he was of the 100 he received in Science.

It's true. He wants to be challenged. And a bonus for us is that we can see the grip of perfectionism loosening before our eyes. He's still conscientious and most likely always will be, but his need to be right and perfect is no longer crippling him and silencing him.

It sounds like your school will need more educating and convincing. I would scour all the gifted sites like this one and Hoagies and gather as much data as you can. Also check out "A Nation Deceived." I'd approach your gifted specialist first and talk with them about plans to meet your child's needs. This is the time...before he learns to check out or get by doing the bare minimum. Before he learns to hate learning.

I just went through the exact same thing re:3rd grade math and 4th grade math and not being able to get to a 4th grade math class. So they were just going to have him do 3rd grade again that he did in second grade.

So anyway, took the first 4 weeks of school to get this straightened out but we finally went with a whole grade skip. My first choice would have been to just accelerate the math and leave him a 3rd grader. But in order to see the math happen we ended up with the skip. We are only a few days into the skip so in a week or two I'll know more, once the dust settles.

Is there a district supervisor who oversees gifted services for all schools? It might be worth putting a call in to that person and ask for help/suggestions. My guess is your ds probably isn't the first student who's run into this issue - no matter how deer-in-the-headlights the staff looked at your meeting... unless he was the first student ever accelerated in math at his previous school.

How do you feel about asking for a grade skip? Or about the other options you mentioned - requesting he be in a 4th grade classroom part of the day, or partial 1/2 day at school and 1/2 day alternative (homeschool, CTD, etc)? I'd think through what you would prefer and what you think would be the best alternative for your ds and that will give you most of what you need to answer your question re what differentiation to ask for.

Best wishes,

polarbear

Thanks everyone. We are open to a grade skip but do have some serious reservations. He's getting picked on now and is already young for his grade so the concern is that even if the grade skip significantly improved some of his at-school behaviors he will still struggle socially. We do have an across-district gifted coordinator but haven't yet gone to him out of respect for the hierarchy. I will ask for him to be pulled in at the next meeting so that when everyone ignores that request I will be within bounds to call him. I agree that there's just no way that our kid is the only kid like this they've ever encountered but you'd never know that from how they're acting.

I guess I'm struggling with knowing exactly what the best alternatives would be, polarbear. He definitely needs a lot of acceleration and a fast pace on math -- that still gets him excited. Putting him in 4th could do that. I fear we're already losing him on reading because he is tending toward re-reading a few beloved classics and consistently choosing lighter fare left to his own devices even though he says they're all too easy. But when I push him he pushes back and wants to go do other things. But maybe going into 4th for that would help. I think overall some mix of trying to stick with some parts of 3rd grade while being pulled into 4th for math and doing independent study might be a good mix. Just wondering how unorthodox that is. Seems like most everyone has to go to a grade skip, which makes me think that creative solutions just don't ever work.

I'm so impressed at everything all of you have negotiated for your children. This is hard.