Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy I don't know what to do??? Ideas?

I'm so frustrated. My son has been reading since 2. He got a 166 on the Woodcock Johnson Achievement when he was 4, which put him in the top 1% in reading. Math was a 144, can't remember the %.

According to a teacher friend, she puts him around 5th grade for reading ability. The school however tested him ONLY as high as they will test a Kindy kids, which was end of 1st. They won't assess him higher than that.

So flash forward to starting Kindergarten in August. The teacher said he is the best reader in his school K program -- six classes. BUT, she said she can't accelerate him because he can't write well yet. So, she was just going to keep him with the beginning readers. Okay, I decided we'd live with it because she put him in a 1st grade classroom for math. She said "he is bright" so we need to challenge him. (I was so happy that she acknowledged his abilities that I was happy.)

Well now, she wants to move him back. She said he can't keep up because he doesn't write well. She also said "bright kids" like to learn. She said "he doesn't seem motivated to learn" so she wants him back in a K class.

What should I do? I REALLY don't want to spend the money to IQ test, and I don't think it would change how they respond to him.

I don't know what to do? I'm not sure. Do I let her send him back to K or do I argue to leave him. I don't know?????

Edited to Add: By reading acceleration I just mean in-class acceleration, I'm not even talking about anything radical. The teacher hasn't even placed my son with the top readers because he doesn't write well, even though she said herself that he is the top reading in K. Clearly, writing is important in this school!

I'm not sure I understand her thinking... can't he practice writing numbers by doing 1st grade math?

Maybe his "motivation" issue is really frustration with writing?

I would try to get them to allow him to stay in first for math.

Ask for specific examples of how writing impacts his math and of the "motivation" issue. It's hard for you to address a problem if it's vague...

He's accelerated to 1st for math, but in K for reading? Is there less writing involved in math?

DSs situation was very similar when he began K...he went to 1st for reading, but the writing didn't seem to factor in (and DS has always had poor handwriting). Granted, the 1st grade teacher (who ended up having my DS in her class the next year) always commented on DSs writing and how it needed improvement, but it wasn't a requirement for his accelerated reading instruction.

I think I would have been upset if he'd been pulled back solely based on his underdeveloped writing ability and I might have questioned it.

Cathy,

Great Point! I think I was "surprised" by the conversation and confused that she already made up her mind regarding him being in 1st.

I do think I need to talk to her again and get more details.

I know one probable issue is that my son will tell people "he can't" and "he doesn't know how" when he doesn't want to do something. I feel like he is always rewarded by getting out of stuff. Very few people recognize that this is a kid manipulating them. But I see it ALL the time. So, I can totally see him in math class saying "it's too hard" because he doesn't like to write and he doesn't want to do it. (This is me guessing because I know him well enough to know he pulls this often. I'm not certain this is the problem.)

But when I tell people "he can, he just doesn't want to," I usually get the pushy mom look and people won't push him so he gets rewarded often. This happens everywhere, preschool, sports classes, home, etc.,. When you've seen a kid do something multiple times and suddenly he doesn't know how...you catch on.

JDAx3.

Apparently at his school, you have to respond in writing to all books you read. So his reading group level was based on his written responses (not good) versus his reading ability.

So this is a kid who was still writing single letters as he went into K and now he is expected to write sentences. He just can't do it.

In Math, they had to write a calendar out (spelling days of the week and writing all the days in the month). Apparently, he was struggling with this activity. Forget the fact, that once they get past this lesson on the calendar, he already knows the 1st grade objectives through February/March.

I've been working really hard with him on writing at home because I realize how much this is going to hold him back.

I starting thinking maybe I should get him an IEP for handwriting, then the handwriting wouldn't hold him back so much??? Is this a crazy thought?

Do you live in the US? If so, does your state mandate IEPs or anything at all for gifted children?

Your son's teacher seems to recognize some important things about gifted kids. You might try to send her an e-mail (so she has time to think) saying that there are really two issues: grade-level or below writing and beyond grade-level reading/math. Does she have any suggestions for addressing both things?

Maybe you could suggest that holding your son back in reading and math because he has age-level writing isn't the best solution. Perhaps the school could find a way to help him work on K-level writing while making an accommodation for reading and math.


Hmm. It's really great that she recognizes this idea. Maybe you could ask her how he'll learn from reading class in Kindergarten. Think about how she answers and then ask for her suggestions on how to help him. Does your school have reading buddies? Maybe he could have a reading buddy in a higher grade.

Just my 2c.

Val

I"ve had a really bad day ... I probably shouldn't even post...but this just burns me up. Hold a kid back from reading b/c of writing? My friend, who is a teacher in our district, said that for the first time ever, the number of kids who need math remediation for exceeds those that need reading instruction. Why? Because of all the writing in math. So kids, especially ESL kids who previously excelled at math when it was about numbers, now have issues b/c of so much verbiage and writing involved.

Why can't the teacher simply TALK to your DS about what he's reading? SO kill his love of reading so that he can practice handwriting. Hold him back in math so he can practice writing.

I would definitely follow up on the "he doesn't seem motivated to learn" angle as she'll likely be more receptive to that.

Sigh....I just don't get it. I'll see if my teacher friend can give me sound reasoning for holding a kid back in reading and math due to handwriting.

I don't know enough about IEPs to know if you could get one for handwriting unless there was an issue other than just 'poor handwriting'.

For us, DSs handwriting is just poor due to not being interested. When he has to put some effort into it, he does. His 1st grade teacher used to send him back to rewrite some things because she wouldn't accept "sloppy copies". This worked for DS...he's one of those kids that if the expectation isn't there, he won't rise 'just because'. Not to say this is the issue with your DS, but it's what I know about mine.

If someone had tried to keep him from progressing based just on handwriting, well shoot, he'd probably still be in K or 1st...

Good luck to you and I'm sure you'll get some great advice from the others here.

I don't understand how not being able to write well has anything to do with his reading and math ability. Maybe talk to the teacher and see if he can do things such as telling her about the book instead of writing it down. Just because his brain is far more advanced than other kids his age doesn't mean that his body is!

When my DS was in kindergarten we saw that a lot too. He wasn't willing to fail, so his response to anything he didn't "know" is: "I can't. I don't know how!". Happily he has (mostly) outgrown this--so there's hope

As to other peoples' reactions--how ridiculous and how sadly typical. Do we not insist that other kids try? Do we accept responses of "it's too hard" and "I can't" from students who are working at grade level? It's that whole idea that instruction for students who have met (or exceeded) standards is somehow "extra" and "unnecessary" instruction that should only be delivered if the child jumps up and down and happily begs for it. ALL children deserve instruction. ALL children need to be stretched to the edge of (and often slightly beyond) their comfort zone in order to learn.

Maybe we should put it on a t-shirt....