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    #98048 - 03/28/11 01:34 PM Re: introduction/advice [Re: kaboom3000]
    Cricket2 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 05/11/09
    Posts: 2172
    Loc: Colorado
    We were in a similar spot with my dd12 when she was 6. She, too, was one of the youngest in a 1st grade classroom at that point and we wound up taking her out to homeschool right around this point in the year. She didn't go back after spring break.

    I truly don't feel that my dd was being manipulative; just that she was suffering so much that she didn't have a way to deal with it at age 6. She is intense and emotional but usually very reserved with expressing that around people she doesn't know closely. Thus, she's normally not one to show it at school. None the less, she was not only telling me that she wished she was dead, wished she had never been born, etc., I was also getting calls from other parents who were telling me that she was sitting at her desk in school crying and that the teacher was telling them to ignore her b/c she was a baby when they tried to comfort her. That was the straw for me that told me this situation wasn't fixable.

    In hindsight, I left her in a rotten position much, much too long. We spent the whole year trying to work with the teacher on reducing repetition and change her approach with my dd, but what needed changing was more than she or the school was going to do at that point.

    What I'd say is that taking him out, if you do choose that route, doesn't have to be a permanent solution. My dd is back in public school. It took a number of tries of different options ranging from changing schools twice, GT pull-outs, subject acceleration, and a grade skip to make it work reasonably well for her, but she is happy and doing well for the most part at this point.
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    #100663 - 04/27/11 07:02 PM Re: introduction/advice [Re: kaboom3000]
    kaboom3000 Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 03/25/11
    Posts: 13
    Finally we got the IEP it took 2 months


    I am not that impressed we will see how my son feels.
    they have things like creating crosswords,writing research he will read to kindergarten kids.In math he will do one problem resolution a day and create math problems for his friends so still 1st grade stuff.

    I don't think principal knew what was going on because at the end of meeting he mentioned how my son tested really high in reading but everything else he was average .I know they didn't do IQ test but he tested way above average(see beginning of thread )in grade assessment test.
    he asked me what were my plans for next year and I was thinking what are
    your plans for my son?he offered to put him in 2-3 split if they have one but I think he would still be in2nd.
    We started doing a grade3 math program with my son on his Thursday homeschool day.He loves it he will do 15 pages on his own.We were told in that meeting how we are pushing him and that is wrong we should do more reading with him!
    we

    We were also told that day off wasn't right we still think it's a mental break and my aunt she's a psychologist in school board told me to keep that day off.
    my husband mentioned maybe my son doesn't like school because he's overstimulated in the classroom and maybe he needs quiet time.Their response is now to get evaluated by psychologist for IQ and if we do it through board it would be in 6-12months.I can't wait that long .I seriously think they don't know what to do with him and they are just waisting our time.

    what would you do?Should I give the teacher copy of my son's test?It gives what thing he should be doing in class right now and it shows how he scored 99percentile with age equivalent of 8.3

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    #100668 - 04/27/11 07:34 PM Re: introduction/advice [Re: kaboom3000]
    E Mama Offline
    Member

    Registered: 02/23/11
    Posts: 64
    hi Kaboom,
    I just read this thread. I am sorry you are going through this- we have been there (still not resolved,but homeschooling and much,much happier!). If you can afford to get an IQ test I would highly suggest it. It will give you a better understanding of your DS's capacity and you can use this with the school.
    I have to say that I disagree with the school assigning crosswords and asking your son to create math problems for other students. Each child has a right to learn something new each and every day (as told to me by a wise consultant who has worked with gifted kids for over a decade).
    I agree with your aunt that you should stick with the day off. We did this too and after one year of school are homeschooling.

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    #100679 - 04/28/11 01:33 AM Re: introduction/advice [Re: Grinity]
    chris1234 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 06/27/08
    Posts: 1897
    Quote:
    Schools aren't bad or evil. They just are very good at teaching kids who fall inside a normal range, and mine doesn't. Even though his fly is unzipped at times, and he's still a kid, he's just quite unusual.



    Grinity, I have to say, it is difficult to see the schools as anything but EVIL when they are taking perfectly fabulous kids and really REALLY screwing them up. Probably I am to blame for some of my son's difficulties in fitting in (not exposing him to TV from the moment he was born, for instance) but my expectations that a mature, sweet, smart guy could walk into a first grade classroom in September and come out the other side feeling good about himself were just way too high.

    Serious depression and suicidal talk/tendencies caused by a complete lack of academic and social fit and no apparent end in sight don't just happen when a kid is 13, 14 and 15 -- this can occur at 7, 8 and 9 and it is horrifying and scary.

    Kaboom, do keep trying, and crying if need be. Also, if you find your child is sad/angry about this outside of school as well as when confronted with going to school in the morning, you might have to consider it is messing with his mood in a broader way/consider counseling for the time being to get him through.

    Keep him in the loop on how things are going, talks you are having, etc., it might seem strange to do this with a first grader, but it sounds like you have no ordinary first grader.
    It seemed to give my ds (8 at the time) some hope that things were actually maybe gonna change.
    We have not seen a ton of change in the regular classroom, but he is the in the gt pull out which (usually) helps get him through the week. Still tough, still a daily challenge, really, but he 'feels good about himself' now and that is huge.

    (... if you think I sound angry, don't get my dh started on this subject...)


    Edited by chris1234 (04/28/11 01:36 AM)

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    #100697 - 04/28/11 06:12 AM Re: introduction/advice [Re: kaboom3000]
    Catalana Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/10/09
    Posts: 393
    Kaboom,

    You have received a lot of good advice here. I guess the first thing I would suggest if you can afford it is to get private testing done for your son's IQ and achievement. You son is asking for help and having those 2 tests will at least give you a better sense of the best way to help him (they aren't perfect, but a decent starting point). They also will likely help you advocate with the school, and you can be comfortable that the school is not monkeying with the results or failing to disclose all information. Also, the pychologist who does the testing can help you with some ideas for advocacy, and talk to your son about his feelings. Make sure you test with a pyschologist who is familiar with gifted kids!

    Unfortunately, it sounds to me that your school just doesn't have any idea how to deal with a kid like your kid. This isn't unusual, but it is sad. Can you check out whether there are gifted specialists in your district, or curriculum specialists who might be able to help?

    You might want to read Nation Deceived from the acceleration institute, and read some of the other posts on this board. Educating yourself makes a huge difference when you advocate with the school - you start to realize that they are just really ignorant most of the time (sometimes they are willfully hostile, but not often).

    Most likely you will need to decide (people here can help) what your child needs and then formally request that. My state doesn't have GIEP's so I can't help with that, but others can. Perhaps your DS needs a full grade skip and than subject acceleration in another subject or two. He certainly needs a teacher who understands how to differentiate well (and who won't try to use him as a mini-me).

    Finally, if things do not improve rapidly and depending on your personal circumstances, I agree that pulling him from school for the rest of the year might be a good idea. Let him recover from the trauma of this year, learn what he wants to learn, and have fun. Heck, if you find a psychologist who is homeschool friendly, maybe you can tell the school that he/she suggested it as a way to let your child regain emotional health. Use the time to work out proper accomodations for your child for next year.

    Good luck

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