Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Sometimes I just want to join in the banter

Thank you Katelynsmom.
I couldn't argue if I wanted to, it would give me a headache. I have a three year old. I think all I do is argue, answer, explain myself, explain other stuff to him all day long. I am not going to do that for a grown up right now.
I like the frequent superficial conversations I'm with relatives lately now that I'm a mommy. It's different from the thought-spouting I always did before. But it feels cheesy and canned and beautiful like I wouldn't have guessed. I always missed something simple and magical I always saw everybody else had. Well, this is it. :)))
Which is another point. Mom says I shouldn't argue with him because it will make him think it's ok to argue with teachers. I don't think she's wrong. Luckily there's this forum with it's wealth of tips and tricks for parenting gifted children. The answer to that one was he gets two or three tokens per day that he can interrupt the class and bother the teacher with questions and opinions. And they said i had a habit of walking around the class and bothering everybody because my work was done all the time. The answer is either appropriate educational placement, squishy balls, or enrichment sent from home for the extra 3/4 of classwork time they always give you. Not sure what's going to happen but I feel secure from hanging out here.

My child is going to argue no matter what and especially if she fully believes she is in the right. I fully support her right to do so, so long as she makes solid arguments. It can't be "I want it because I do." or anything remotely like this. I have no problem changing my mind IF she is valid in her argument. I feel it helps them develop their higher order thinking skills.

Know how you feel. You try not to say much cause you don't want to make others feel bad but when you get asked a blunt question it is hard to beat around the bush. I have done the same and then ugh seen the reaction and wanted to take back what I just said. But, on the other hand why can't we be honest esp if we are asked.
I had a mother ask me how my son did on his report card.
So I hesitated thinking ok what do I say w/o sounding like a braggart. Had a long hesitation and then thought hmm now she will think he did bad cause I am pausing so I just said it
said he got all A+'s
And then I felt the daggers
So it's a no win situation.

My DD6 is not necessarily gifted, but fairly unique. She is just in a regular school system, but I experience similar problems.

I had the added issue of being a single father in a very small town. The only time my DD was ever invited for a play date was the one day her mom took her to school. When I phoned the mom later, she said she would call back when it was a good time, but I never heard from her again.

When I checked out the parenting group, it turned out to be nothing more than an exclusive subset of moms, who had a formerly established social relationship. It wouldn't have been my style anyway as they basically got together, sent the children off the play away from them and then conversed without any interest in the children. The children are meant to be seen and not heard types. In my family, children are thought of as people, not lower class citizens.

I would categorize the issues affecting my ability to provide a social experience for my child are my gender, being far older than most with a DD6, being an overly attentive parent and being a person with atypical interests. I am not one to make people feel bad about being less of a parent, to talk about my child (although I involve her in everything I do) or even exclude people based on often considered negative lifestyles (won't involve myself in this part).

Personally, being able to talk about my child is the least of my problems. I just want her to have the same social opportunities as other children. Now that she is in school, she is at least getting some social contact with children. So the problem is not as big a deal now.

How well we can communicate with another person is affected by so many factors, not just the words we speak. Some take a long time to warm up to new people, others seem to need some way to feel tied to another, some make class level judgements or maybe even chemistry is involved. Just thought I would throw out my experience. Interesting to see these issues happen to others for different reasons.