Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional great book....misdiagnosis

I'm no expert by any means but it sounds to me that from being stifled with all the things he's been labled with he has regressed himself. He may also have decided he isn't socially comfortable with the children at his intellectual level. I have talked with several parents of kids who were a few grade levels above their age who could not be placed with those students because they simply felt out of place and could not perform. My own son, while in daycare at age 2, was clearly ready to potty train at home but when I asked about his daycare training him they informed me that the classroom he was in was not one that focused on potty training. They moved him to the next room up and tried training him there and not only would he not have anything to do with the potty but he would not do anything else we already KNEW he was able to do such as color, shape, letter identification etc. I was told that he wasn't "socially comfortable" because he wasn't with the friends and teachers he knew. Your son may find comfort in being the most intellectual of his peer group as well and that may be why he's seeking out these other children. Obviously their acceptance of him and demand for his attention and play time is going to weigh in as a factor for him too. I don't think my son likes to skateboard AT ALL but there are 2 or 3 boys up the street who do it ALL the time and my son wants to be part of their group so bad that he has taken up skateboarding. *rolls eyes* I don't know what to say about the diagnosis your son has been given. I am no medical expert and so I'll just say you're the parent and you have to go with your gut and read the book reccommended because it sure can't hurt. IT IS SO COMMON for kids who are HG and PG to regress themselves if they aren't challenged enough and sometimes when they are masked with other diagnosis it is really hard to challenge them. I have found some really interesting techniques to use with my kids and sometimes I still have to switch things up. Good luck and welcome to the board. (I'm kind of new here too but I never shut up! *snicker*)

M.

My son has literally told me he changes what he says so the other kids will understand him. The other day one of his friends was visiting and I teased "Collin your Mom told me you depise popcorn but prefer popped liver." Collin said, "What?" I repeated myself 2 times, finally Mite piped in, "She's saying your mom says you don't like popcorn but you really like popped liver".

So, I actually got a chance to see him translate his higher verbal skills for his age group peer. Apparently it happens a lot. My older son says his friends (6-9 years older than Mite)often need things interpreted by Mite.

My point is, I think kids do this a lot. It is in our social make-up to get along with our age group peers even when our intellectual make-up prefers brighter folks.

Mite has 5 very good friends in his age group, but he also spends a great deal of time with his older brother's friends and with grown ups.

For Mite, the disability definitely causes him to regress in his friendships.

Hi Mother of One,
Your son sounds delightful. I'm glad that he's getting at least some of his needs met! What does the school say about these changes? Can they set up a mentor to work One-on-one on some of the academic type material that he used to enjoy?

I think what always surprises me is that even an 2 half hours per week of doing something satisfing has been enough to make a noticible improvement in my son's life.

Dear ScottsWife,
I also feel very frustrated in trying to figure out if my son does or doesn't have ADHD. One professional even suggested that he has 60% of the qualities of ADHD and that taking a "trail" of stimulents was a wonderful idea. It may be a wonderful idea - ask me again in about 20 years, but it seems really crazy to me.

Does your son take ADHD meds during the summer? It seems to me, as a Mom, that at least 2 weeks of really painful behavior should be expected when making such a big change. It would take me that long to figure out new disipline stratagies - LOL!

Here's a link to another book that might interest you. I haven't read it yet (waiting for Interlibrary Loan) The Mislabeled Child: How Understanding Your Child's Unique Learning Style Can Open the Door to Success (Hardcover)
by Brock Eide, Fernette Eide

I applaud you advocacy for getting your 7 year old into 4th grade. How did you do it?

And Hi Willa Gayle - who wouldn't want to skip middle school? Good luck with all that.

Smiles
Trinity

Hi-
Here's my true confession... I have ADHD and my IQ is in the exceptional range. I always ignored the intelligence part until Mite came up with all his 2E issues and I've had to face myself in everything I read about him. I see his older brother, too.

Anyhow, I use Ritalin for most social situations where it is required that I don't touch people (I tend to grab people's arms when I'm talking to them or pound men on the back...etc...in search of that stimulation I need to keep focused on the social event), that I learn about someone new, that I stay in my seat..etc.

Now I truly believe my hyperactivity and other ADHD behaviors are actually overexciabilities, but the Ritalin does help me interact with my world. I do not live on Ritalin day to day and this is in agreement with my psychiatrist. I use it in proper dosage for situations where my OEs may overwhelm the unaware participants.

So, I know first hand what its like to live in that OE state and have the world try to figure me out and fit me in. If Mite needs meds, I will go for them only as I would for myself...not as a constant but only in the absolutely necessary.

Trinity, I'm finding our district to be so out of touch with IDEA. What to do? I'm going to fight with all I have to make sure Mite is in his best fit for education, but it really is a battle, isn't it?

He's requested no more testing, btw. He really only did the stuff with the school at the end of the year, then one 3 hour day with a psychometrist (aka psych student being used to administer test batteries. He told me it just wears him out because he's so worried he'll mess it up. He knows what is going on and is fed up with it all already and we are only 6 weeks into the discovery.

SIGH!

maybe chuckle, too...that's so Mite

Trinity,
Thanks for the book reccommendation. I'll look that one up and give it a read as well. ) I will read anything I can get my hands on for my kids and their benifit.

As for getting my 7 year old to 4th grade, he did that all by himself. He entered the local school here when he was 4. They have a standard k-4 program (we're in south central PA) although I had him test out of that so he was granted early entry to the k-5 class which is basically your ordinary kinder. He was well beyond that material intellectually but of course he did have to learn the raise your hand and some of the social aspects of the school setting so it served him well I suppose to endure it but the teacher was not very interested in having such a bright and precocious child in her class. He remained at that school for first grade with a better teacher but still not with the enrichment I felt he needed so for 2nd grade he and I decided together that he would try the Pa Cyber Charter school. He actually opted to do his work with books rather then online so he could work as fast as he wanted and therefore he completed second grade by last Thanksgiving and they sent out third grade for him as he was still to complete 180 days of school. He easily completed third grade by the end of the school year and that brings him to starting the 4th grade this August/September. (He turned 7 in March). So you see, it was his goal to complete both grades last year and his hard work that got him to 4th grade in such a hurry. All I did was get him enrolled in a school that would actually PERMIT him to do so. Originally he wanted to skip second grade all together but they felt there were too many essentials he would miss so he endured it and just worked that much faster to get to third grade. Now he seems to think he will complete both 4th and 5th grade this school year but I told him we'll have to look at the work and see if this is a realistic goal. I don't want to push him too hard and I don't want to hold him back at the same time....you know. )


M.

FINALLY got my copy of the book today!!! Already started reading it and my head is constantly bobbing up and down and people at my son's karate school were looking at me funny as I was saying out loud "yep, that's exactly like my son!" *snicker* Of course I'm only at the begining so you know I was reading the gifted qualities they have listed. I'm sure some of the parents there were thinking "Lady you need to get YOURSELF checked out!"

M.

I got mine today, too. Same reaction. Boy could I see my kid in the gifted/midas section and the dysgraphia/handwriting stuff.

btw, they have a forum for the book

www.misdiagnosedchild.com

Ok - I did order The Mislabeled Child, but it hasn't arrived yet, OTOH Different Minds - gifted Children with AD/HD, Asperger Syndrome, and ohter learning Deficits by Deirdre Lovecky arrived and it's so dreamily thick! 521 pages! very few pictures. I'm looking forward to reading with all of you. Please post your reactions so we can have our own cyber book club!

smiles
Trinity

Well, I am not even mid-way through Chapter 2 (although probably nearing the halfway point of the chapter) which happens to be the ADHD portion and it is SO thorough! I LOVE THIS BOOK! It hasn't given me an "answer" at this point but I haven't expected it to either. It has given me so much more to consider and so much insight that I never had before. I knew there was more to determining ADHD especially when you're dealing with an HG or PG child and that there was a strong parallel in the behavior but this book REALLY breaks things down so consicely and gives amazing vinettes that are so applicable I just can't begin to explain.....

I am just more excited the more I read.....

I see so much of myself in some of the things I am reading. I don't mean to say I am gifted nor that I am anything else. I really don't know. I see things that are mentioned which I could say are a DIRECT QUOTE of my husband in regard to me and I'm going...yep, uh huh. It's very interesting.

I am a nervous wreck about my son's appointment next Tuesday now. The Dr. doing his testing/eval knows she's doing a complete battery of tests and not just looking at intellect but at what SHE sees as far as ADHD, emotional, social and maturity development etc. I called and asked if he's supposed to take his med. before he goes in and she said no and I said ok, well I don't know how much attention you will have and she assured me that she understands and the way she does everything is very structured and designed for this so....I hope she really gets what she's dealing with. She does have a copy of the testing the school did when he was 5 and those show him to be in the PG range while ON his medication so...I don't know...I'm still freaking out a bit....

Now I swear I am going to finish this book before the appt next Tuesday morning. Thank goodness the appt is first thing in the morning or I'd likely bite my nails down to my toes.
Thanks for putting up with me!

Trinity you will LOVE this book!

M.