Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Sometimes I just want to join in the banter

We were watching late night Disney XD Spiderman cartoons, at Wyatt's request. �He asked, "what's spiderman's name? �I said, "Peter Parker," without thinking much of it until he said, "someone got a superhero costume. �Someone's inside it". I thought I was giving him a clue that superhero's have alter-egos, but Mr. Observation already knew. �I was watching the show too. �He ain't superman. �They don't show him changing clothes. �Granted he remembers Halloween so he knows about dress-up, but this is cartoons. �My mom says when little kids say stuff like that they got it from somewhere, they don't just come up with it. I just think he got it from watching the show. �I know that�feeling I get when she corrects everything I think I see. �I'm like, mom, I live with him. �I'll believe "my own lying eyes."
I think some people really think kids under a certain age don't really have thoughts of their own but are only parrots. �It's because she asks him leading questions on the phone and he answers back whatever she said, regardless of the facts. �She'll ask, "did you go to the store today?". And he'll start telling her about our shopping trip. �She thinks he only tells you whatever you've already told him. �I think, no. �He only tells YOu whatever you've already told him. �Even the hubby agrees, the boy just tells grandma what she wants to hear. �Strange that this is the same woman who caught flack from her friends for playing scrabble with me when I was in kindergarten. �Seems she'd be a little more open-minded. ��
I don't know about the mamma's on the playground because around here you usually bring your husband to talk to while the kids run around. �But we're not school-age yet.

I really agree - though I am lucky, as I mentioned. I have one good friend with her own (unidentified, despite my best efforts!) hg+ kids who gets my girl and the pros and cons that go with being the parent of such a kid. The rest who have been friendly have kindly humoured me, but don't really get it (not through any fault of their own, it's just a life that they don't have any experience of).

La Texian, I so get where you're coming from. I will never forget telling my mum I though dd was gifted and she dismissed me out of hand and, as you say, would insist that dd had picked up her ideas from somewhere else. As you mentioned, evidently my own 24/7 observations counted for nothing. My HG+ dad wasn't much better. He has come around to it, but still 'tests' dd. More recently dd's abilities have become much more obvious and he's had to concede she's out there. Mum moved a little way towards acceptance when she saw the test results, but basically told me dd had no chance of a happy life. Nice! Perhaps that's why I'm looking for acceptance where I can get it, lol

**Hey look, my first post**

I'm desperately seeking an IRL community of parents who I can casually chat with about my preschool-aged kid. While I haven't had any NEGATIVE responses (most people we interact with know me well enough to know that I'm not cramming information down the throat of a kid just to be "the mom of that little kid who's OMG WOW learning to read already."

I have gotten some odd looks, though, and some responses that make me think twice about sharing more. And then there's my own insecurity .

I've found, though, that I'm more likely to get these responses from fellow parents. A lot of our family friends are childless, and it's interesting that THEY are the ones who really notice how different DS is from other kids his age. It's great that he has this community of adults who *GET* him, but I often wish I had a community of parents who I could share as openly with.

I have one. Her son just started kindergarten and we've been chatting on FB. Too bad she lives thousands of miles away most of the year.

Welcome smacca to the forums!

What did you say that upset the other mother?

Are you in the US? If so, have you looked up your state's gifted association?
Have you eyeballed http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/conferences.htm

If you want to be brave, mention what general part of the country you live in,and we'll see if any of us knows someone.

Also OK to post a sign up in the local Library for Parent/Child book discussion group forming for 2-4 year olds with your contact info on it. Or a similar classified add in your local newspaper....Or ask you local librarian/pediatrician/accountant/dentist that if they ever run into any kids that 'remind' them of your kid, please to give your phone number.
Also look at any homeschooling local resources, as there are often folks homeschooling because they sense that their children would be a poor fit in age-ranked classrooms, so if they don't identify as gifted families, they well may be.

Smiles, and thanks for de-lurking,
Grinity

Southwest Alaska, Bethel to be exact. There aren't a whole lot of HS families in town, though there are a few. I know a few other families with gifted (or likely gifted... there really isn't a system in place for identifying or serving gifted kids in our school district. I know, because I work at the district office ) kids, but they're all much older. If any state organization exists, it's likely in Anchorage, which is a $400 (round trip) airplane ride away... in which case, I'd be talking to people online anyway. I know there's nothing in town because it's a verrrrrrrrry small town. My husband works at the library, I work for the school district... and that's about all there is as far as organizations that serve kids go.

We go back to the Lower 48 (WI specifically) in the summers, though, which is where I have more connections.

Well, I hate to say this, but odds are that in a town of <50,000 people, a parent of a EG or PG child isn't going to have much company.

(I should know.)

So a lot depends on just how different your child is from age-mates.

Some places that draw smarty-pants PARENTS reliably in very small towns include
libraries (though you've clearly got this one covered!)
chess/book clubs
quirky book or comics shops
hardware stores.


The U of A has a few programs for distance education, too.

Just some ideas to keep you thinking.


Have you checked out any tribal resources near you? I know that up there, outside of the cities, there is sometimes fluidity/crossover in terms of tribal and regional governmental resources for residents. Might be something to look into.

I have had family on the Kenai peninsula since the airbase was built, so I understand what you're saying about distances and travel up there. <waves hello>

Welcome and I've definitely experienced that too. We have a lot of intelligent single/childless friends from work and they'll even ask me point blank if something of the things DD is doing are not really unusual. Normally they then enjoy sharing stories from their own childhood and it's been a great way of getting ideas and sharing experiences.

As for OP. There are just some things I keep my mouth shut about. DD's languages skills are not extremely out there (advanced but not in the wow-she's-a-super-genius ballpark) so it's easier to stay under the radar. Now if they hand this kid a puzzle or can actually understand some of the things she's saying when it comes to animals or the human body that might be another thing. Thankfully that doesn't really come up ever in public!

And I have to say, it really saddens me that others have struggled so much to the point that they find the number of understanding parents in the minority. I have some friends I *think* I could talk to IRL if I felt the need but choose not to just to be on the safe side. Keep looking and I hope you guys have better luck on finding a kindred soul!

Oh, and just to add. DH and my parents all did the sort of eye-rolling-your-just-proud-first-time-parents-gig for a long time. However, after DD spent any set amount of time with them that stopped pretty quickly. Now it's hard to get them to keep their mouths shuts with their colleagues at work!

You aren't wrong. My DD has been able to make connections forever and is incredibly observant. Even her teachers have made comments about this and seem to think she will be a scientist. I fully believe it is because of this skill that the idea of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are challenged so early in their lives. BTW: sometimes I think it is easier not to argue the point. People want to see what that want to see and eventually your mother will come around.