Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Did anyone not have success with Montessori?

It seems like everything I read says that Montessori is wonderful for GT kids. My son is not having the greatest experience. He is in his first year in a 3-6 classroom. He's not getting along with the other kids and refuses to pay attention to the work. I'm not sure what to do next year.

It isn't great for everyone. It also depends on the flexibility of the teachers and the arrangement that is at each place.

What are the teachers saying to you? Do you have specific examples? They wanted the children to do X but your son did Y? etc etc What do they mean "refuses to pay attention to the work" -- what was the work? How long were they suppose to do it? etc

Montessori has been wonderful for my dd9, who is still there in 4th grade (generally doing 5th and 6th grade work). I have read of cases where it wasn't a good fit for gifted kids--my impression is that may be at schools that are die-hard Montessori (you must progress in exactly this way and you will not be given new lessons until you can show that you have mastered the previous work). My dd's teachers have been pretty flexible. (also--I think her LOG is easier to manage than your child's and she is sort of a typical teacher-pleasing girl). So far for dd3 it seems like the best option for her...I don't think it will be that great when she is the oldest in a class though.

It really does depend on the teacher and the school. Is there any way you can go in to observe? Maybe that will help you to figure out if it is the method or the personality or the teacher that isn't working for your son.

I agree -- it depends so much on the teacher.

My DS was very unhappy his first year of casa (3-6 year old). The teacher was very rigid, had one style for everybody, and didn't allow "skipping steps". My DS wanted to do more advanced work, but she tried to force him to do all the preliminary steps (like learning to count to 10 and recognize the numbers when he was well beyond that). He spent way too much time sitting in the naughty chair.

We switched him to another teacher at the same school for the next two years of Casa and it was like night and day. I still have fond memories of his second teacher!

I suggest observing (they usually encourage that at Montessori) and talking to your son about why he is unhappy. My son at 4 years old told me he wanted to "break everything in the school" so that he wouldn't have to go back.

I'm sorry for being so vague in my original post. This is what is going on:

He's in Montessori, ages 3-6. I thought this would be good for him, because he has very asychronistic development. I figured he can work on the stuff he is behind on, and yet have the opportunity to work ahead in the areas he excels in. I also liked the idea that it was a mixed age classroom because he always gravitates towards older kids. (Actually adults mostly.) He's mostly around DH & I so I think that's where that comes from.

Anyways, none of this is going as I planned. LOL.


First of all, we have had several talks with the director of the school, who is also the head teacher. She thinks DS may have ADD. I'll admit, it's crossed my mind from time to time, I don't really see him focus on one thing for very long. He will read books, and catalogs for hours, and he will do legos, but a lot of times he starts things and doesn't finish them, which is what they are seeing at school. HE alo wanders around the room all day and wont choose anything that he already knows. He only wants new presentations on works, and once a teacher presents something, he's not interested in it anymore.

I personally think that it's not ADD, he just isn't interested in the work. I'm not sure why, I would have loved it, but maybe that's part of my problem, I'm projecting.

Also, he is reluctant to do work without a teacher present. This is obviously a problem because he can't always have a teacher present. We all feel that he is still dealing with a little bit of seperation anxiety. The poor kid has had a lot of adjustments, I had twins in the summer, and then he started school for the first time in the fall. I think he just feels a little insecure.



The more pressing problem is that he's having problems with some other kids. He keeps saying that he is lonely at school, and there have been several "altercations" between him and other students.

This all makes me so sad because preschool is supposed to be fun, and DS isn't having fun. Sometimes he talks about stuff he did at school that he liked, but it's always special projects. He doesn't like the Montessori work. He has said from the beginning that he doesn't want to go, and that he likes it "a little bit." He says it's boring. He says lots of things are boring, so part of me thinks it's his stock answer but part of me thinks that maybe Montessori just isn't for him.

I did have a chance to observe him two weeks ago. I was there for an hour, 20 minutes of which he ate snack. The rest of the time, he wandered around a lot, but he did pick "work" to do. He would do it for a minute or two and put it back. He looked a little sad the whole time which really broke my heart. He wasn't feeling well, so I'm not sure if I got the true picture of his school day. He was really good though, he seemed uninterested in the fact I was there, he went about his business and didn't try to talk to me. When I was leaving he got a little teary and I asked him what was wrong. He said, "I just really don't want to be here today." It took all my will power not to bring him home with me.

We had his IQ tested right before he turned 4, and the psych doing the evaluation recommended a gifted charter school for next year. He would technically be starting early, since he has a fall birthday, he should start in 2 years. His Montessori teacher feels that he isn't ready because of the attention issues, and he also has some fine motor problems, which he is in OT for now. The psych feels these will either resolve themselves by September, or won't be hard to deal with, since the teachers are used to dealing with gifted kids' quirks.

So, that's my long drawn out diatribe.

ETA: About the kind of Montessori it is, they are pretty hard core. But, they have skipped some things for DS, because they realize that he's so stubborn, he'd rather do nothing all day than something boring.

I worry about this too!

I would be very reluctant to attribute his behaviour to adhd at this stage. When I consider how I feel and behave when I am not intellectually challenged it gives me much more sympathy for these kids, and I can completely understand why a gifted kid who is not might appear to have adhd. I have to say...I spend most of my days at my kids' school and very few of the kids (even those who are identified as GT) seem to be bored. Maybe a lot of it is just wanting to be home with mommy? Or maybe it is his LOG. I'm not much help. But maybe keeping him home until next year would be something to consider.

I can say re: the OT issues that a lot of the Montessori work is really really excellent at helping with OT stuff. The OTs are always impressed with the fine motor skills of my 7-yr. old with Down syndrome and attribute it to his environment at Montessori.

Good luck-sounds like the gifted charter would be a good option for next year!

I completely agree! I've mentioned this to his teacher, that lots of gifted kids are misdiagnosed with ADD, etc, etc. We just can't figure out how to get him to focus, and I think he also has a little underachieving thing going on, if it's not easy from the get go, he tries to avoid it. He also avoids anything with writing.

My gifted son with visual and motor issues had a horrible time in his Montessori pre-school experience. He spent the entire time either bored or frustrated. He wanted to spend the day in the reading corner, or in the classroom with the lower elementary children, but he wasn't allowed. His teacher would gush to us about how he always already knew everything they were going over in circle time, and she just didn't get that that was the heart of the problem. The motor tasks were simply impossible, and there was nothing else for him to learn.