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    #93017 - 01/18/11 06:39 PM Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior.....(WSJ article) [Re: trimom]
    minniemarx Offline
    Member

    Registered: 10/31/08
    Posts: 466
    I've been thinking about all of this for several days, and it has seemed to me that nestled within this discussion is the notion of scarcity; that is, that certain approaches to helping our children learn and grow are driven by the idea that various resources are scarce (elite preschool spaces, selective university admissions, particular kinds of job opportunities, and so on), and that these specific resources are those which are necessary for our children ultimately to have a satisfying adult existence.

    Obviously, one needs for certain basic resources (food, warmth, shelter, love) not to be scarce, but I wonder if it would be interesting/useful/thought-provoking to reframe some of these other questions in terms of abundance rather than scarcity? Certainly it would seem to me to be potentially both very freeing as well as conducive to creativity to view life as offering an abundance of possibility; what could our school/work/hobbies/parenting look like if we embraced a vision of bountiful opportunity? What could our kids' lives look like?

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    #93021 - 01/18/11 07:26 PM Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior.....(WSJ article) [Re: Wren]
    Tallulah Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/25/10
    Posts: 480
    Originally Posted By: Wren

    I do not want a college for my kid that will take her, I want a college for my kid that she wants.

    Ren


    And I want my child to be happy, self-confident, assured, relaxed and well equipped to cope with what life throws at her more than I want her in college.

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    #93098 - 01/19/11 11:36 PM Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior.....(WSJ article) [Re: trimom]
    bergermeister Offline
    New Member

    Registered: 01/19/11
    Posts: 1
    You might enjoy this take on the Chinese mothers article:

    [url=http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-steinberg/post_1605_b_811329.html][/url] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-steinberg/post_1605_b_811329.html

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    #94732 - 02/15/11 07:44 AM Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior.....(WSJ article) [Re: trimom]
    sujuan Offline
    New Member

    Registered: 02/07/11
    Posts: 1
    Hi,
    I'm from a country with a Chinese majority. Yes, the moms here do push the kids very hard. I do not do that. DH and I have been resisting the pressure to do the same. It is not easy. The education system here is so competitive. It is not about doing anymore, it is about outdoing others. The fear of losing out to others, not getting into the best schools, makes many parents send their kids for tuition after school doing more math, science and languages.

    For us, we believe in training our kids to have the right attitudes and good moral values the first 12 years of their lives. In the course of guiding them in their school work, we teach them work ethics, time management, task perseverance. we believe if these foundation are set right, all other things will fall nicely in place.

    It has not been easy trying not to follow the Jonses. I do get jitters sometimes seeing my kids' friends going for all the expensive enrichment classes that are suppose to soup up their grades. I always remind my kids that they have to help themselves by learning to learn, pay attention in class and take every piece of homework very seriously.

    Glad to say we think we have done the right thing and am very proud of our courage to have faith in our kids. Both, 14 and 11 are now very independent learners.

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    #94738 - 02/15/11 09:11 AM Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior.....(WSJ article) [Re: sujuan]
    Grinity Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/13/05
    Posts: 7207
    Loc: Connecticut
    Originally Posted By: sujuan
    Hi,
    I'm from a country with a Chinese majority. Yes, the moms here do push the kids very hard. I do not do that. ...It has not been easy trying not to follow the Jonses. I do get jitters sometimes seeing my kids' friends going for all the expensive enrichment classes that are suppose to soup up their grades. I always remind my kids that they have to help themselves by learning to learn, pay attention in class and take every piece of homework very seriously.

    Glad to say we think we have done the right thing and am very proud of our courage to have faith in our kids. Both, 14 and 11 are now very independent learners.

    Thanks Sujuan, for your perspective. I agree that it is very hard to have the personal intergrity to go against the crowd, but I wanted to note

    - on the other hand -

    that there is an advantage to your children in having an 'overall atmousphere' of valuing academic hard work that families in the U.S. don't usually get. I think that your children have the best of both worlds.

    Good Character, to whatever extent we parents can actually provide this, is, I think, the best gift we can give our children. Keep choosing what's right while you Jitter!

    Love and More Love,
    Grinity
    _________________________
    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com

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