My 15 yr old is a great kid, we have him in a great academic environment finally! But we have big issues with him not being on planet Earth. His mind is racing off other places. He came home from the last day of school with one shoe! We are trying to teach him basic life skills, pay for things he loses, etc. He does have a summer job working at a summer camp on clean up duty. He gets so out there. Fly down, shoes untied... How do you teach common sense?

Hi,
These behavior could be many things, but they sound quite a bit like dyspraxia. All the actions you describe that are missed involve motor skills.

While I'm not saying that's what it is, it is worth the consideration. It helps to have a physical checklist made up. I have 5 for the different routines that come up in my day. One is for getting dressed (****on shirt from bottom ****on up, tie shoes, zip zippers, snap bra...etc). One is for hygiene (teethbrushed, haircombed, nails clipped, skin lotion, deodorant...etc). One is for cleaning the room and house (clean desk ((there's a similar routine on the desk for this task)) clean kitchen counter ((ditto)) take out trash...etc.). One is for studies (lists includes loading, taking and unloading backpack with necessary tools, books...etc.) One is for calming techniques--includes a couple of yoga stretches, meditation, etc.) One is for medications and vitamins.

Then I make up special ones for special occasions.

For convenience they are all reduced to 2X3 inch laminated cards and carried on my keychain and backpack. It helps quite a bit. It took some time to get in the habit of looking at it.

Also, I have found that excercise increases concentration and decreases the "airhead effect" for me.

best of luck.

Willa Gayle

Along a similar vien WWW.flylady.org helps cheer one along as one organizes.
Alb - how scared are you? Are you able to come at this as a friendly coach or does it send you into a panic? Do you see shades of yourself or DH?

Seems like all the things you're doing are right on target.

Do you have any friends with kids with disabilities who have to explisitly teach and drill life skills? They may have some great tips you can modify.

Can you write down you biggest fears and pick just one goal to focus on for the next 6 months?

((hugs))
Trinity

I'm fairly scared. He lives at a private prep school during the year and his dorm mom and I have worked togerther on daily life skills. She gets a lot of highly gifted kids. He loses everything, has no sense on what things are worth, doesn't seem to mind having to work to replace things or having stuff taken away as long as he's got a book or his calculator or even a pencil and a scrap of paper. He is doing his own laundry, helping prep meals, doing daily chores. Nothing like DH or myself. He's taking undergrad and master's work along with his reg hs stuff and blasting through it. We just met with his advisor who asked us to consider early graduation, he's 14. I can't imagine, then what? I'm afraid he'll be 40 living at home eating doritos working at mini mart if we don't drill some basic stuff into him now.

Alb,
how's your summer going? What are your plans for school for your son for next year?

I'm sorry to hear that it's so scary. One of my favorite people is a man in his 30's who sounds like this. Lucky for him, he's got a great wife who "works" full time keeping him organized, and a fat paycheck from a wall street job. So they're pretty happy.

have you looked into Simon's Rock College in Massachucets as a way for him to graduate early and keep the supports there?

I'd reccomend reading Mislabled Child - I'd want to make sure the visual system is operating at 100%

Love -
Trinity