Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Just starting out...please help

therah,
Well done! ((Waving Wildly)) I figure that your schedual is your friend in so many ways, that it's ok if it doesn't fit this one particular need. Take that day off. And look towards getting them into different schools so at least each can be valued in her own way. So cool that your district is interested in a 2E classroom, and that your district has gifted teachers to get to know.

What a drag that the Montessori teachers who don't think she should be skipped are the same as the 'recieving' teachers. I would try throwing a fit and explaining that as Rimm says, the symptoms of being underchallenged as being overchallenged are the same. Have you read Rimms, 'Why bright kids get poor grades?' It's very interesting - be sure to get to the end, where she stops blaming the parents of gifted kids and starts blaming the school system.


Your older daughter sounds really neat! I have tremendous respect for Dr. Rimm, and I support your idea of getting older DD checked for 2E issues. Visual tracking can interphere with reading, sometimes, for example. I'm wondering if her grumpiness is partailly an Sensory Integration thing. I've seen lots of families where the traits of Oversensitivity, Intellectual Gifts, Intensity, Spiky Profiles (30 point spreads between high and low subscores) and Creativity get combined and reshuffled in the various family members.

I would encourage you to start, slowly to encourage each daugher to spend time at home that teaches them how to develop their gifts. Perhaps an art class for DD5 and tutor DD4 while DD5 is in class, and then sit with DD5 during the week to 'go further' in art, while DD4 listens to an non-fiction audiobook that is at her readiness level. I like the book 'Drawing with Children' for a step by step approach of how a non-artist adult can help an artistic kid, but your library should be full of 'how to draw books.'

You call about letting DD4 sit in with the Drawing one-on-one time. If she's obviously unskilled it can be ok once in a while, but the main thing you want to develop is a motto that- "In our family we believe that it takes work to develop one's gifts, and Mom will encourage each child to develop their own gifts, individually, because the world needs each person's talents."

Something like that anyway! It is a big mountian that you've been given to climb, but I'm guessing that your classroom experience of building a coheisive, supportive team will help, or at least give you a chance to practice. LOL! And you can talk about various years where the kids didn't recognise their own gifts, and how you helped them turn the gifts into talents, and how the class grew to appreciate each child.

Actually this sound exhausting. Can you institute a 20 minute meditation break when you get home, and then a 20 minute 'Talent Development' break when transitioning from school to home? (or 5 and 5, or 10 and 10?) I'm really not after you to spend all your free moments pushing each child to their maximum. Eventually everything works best if we take a leadership role in our familes, much as it isn't fair.


Well, I'm certianly looking forward to sharing the journey with you! BTW, what age/grade do you teach?

Smiles,
Grinity

Grinity,
I work in a mental health residential facility with kids ages K-8. Most of the children live in cottages behind the school b/c they are in county custody awaiting adoptive homes, foster homes or reunification with their parents (occasionally). The majority of the kids have been severely neglected and/or abused and removed from parental custody. I work for a large public school district which supplies the teachers and materials for the school on the facility campus. All of my kids are special ed. with varying disability eligibility (mostly emotional disturbance, some learning disabled, cognitive delay and other health impairment). I do get the occasional gifted child with a disability. They are by far the most difficult to teach! My classroom grade levels range from 4-8; achievement levels range from K-8. I'm required to teach each child 5 subjects at his/her individual achievement level.

Are you a psychiatrist? You really seem to know your stuff! After reading your response yesterday about my DD5 I began to realize what was right in front of me all this time. She has always been sensory-seeking. I can't use sticky tack to hang things on the wall because she picks it off to hold in her hands and hides it under her pillow (along with cotton balls, play-doh, clay, etc.); when she's upset the only thing that calms her is massage; she feeds into chaos and excitement in large groups of kids; and she's just begun punching and biting herself in the past two months and telling me she doesn't know why she feels like she has to do that. (We came up with an alternative behavior for that immediately and she asks for a tight hug instead). After reading your posting, I called an OT that I've worked with for years and she brought some assessments by for me to use on her. I also called Dr. Rimm's ofc. to get an apt. to see if she thinks she needs a neuro-psych. eval. But in the meantime, the OT will score everything for me and give me some strategies to use while we schedule everything else (which could take months!) I had her teacher conference last night. She has the lowest score in the class in the DIBELS assessment they use. She has an excellent teacher and reading specialist. They are not putting her on the possible retention list because they know I can help get her up to par and they know that being in the same grade as her little sister would crush her self-esteem. They seem to be working very hard to help her. We've all seen the same thing - she can identify beginning, middle and ending sounds verbally; but when she goes to put it on paper she can't visualize the letter (for ex. she'll say dog begins with "d", but when asked to write it, she'll write another letter.) The OT also gave me some visual perception assessments.

As for DD4, I spoke to the principal at the Catholic school today. They want me to observe the K class and they will consider early entrance. She seemed very reluctant but agreed to withhold judgment until I observe and they meet her. She mentioned a "probationary trial" where, if it doesn't work out she can move into the preschool room. I told her that sounds like a great idea. The principal was telling me that the K teacher really expects a lot from the kids and does more science and SS than she's ever seen in a K classroom. She was trying to deter me but I was secretly thrilled to hear that because my daughter would love the challenge!

The art class sounds good, but money is an issue. I don't think I can afford a tutor. DD5 already does ballet (since she was 3) and Irish dancing but she'll have a break over the summer so maybe I'll look into some art related day camps or classes. DD4 just began ballet last month and is loving it.

Again, thank you, thank you, thank you!
Therah

Wow, therah you have been busy! Good idea with the OT. It sounds like DD5 could have an underlying problem. I hope you can find out what keeps her back.

The catholic school sounds promising. I hope it all works out.

Good luck

Assuming you can get her in to the K classroom, a trial run is a good deal most of the time. It helps you, too, since it gives you a graceful out on the very slim chance that the situation isn't working. Not likely, but useful. And we all know that schools, like all institutions, detest change. Once she's in the room, they'll be that much less likely to want to take her out of it. Well played!

Keep us updated.

Wow Therah,
Your program sounds so interesting! Bless you for sticking in with those 2E kids which such severe challenges. ((tears))

Thanks for the compliment. I'm not a professional. But I was basically shunned at school in 4th, 5th, and 6th grade, (although I did make a friend in 6th grade who I could see during recess,) and poured all my unaccomidated giftedness into 'figuring out people.'

Part of what I've found the most useful is www.rc.org which I've been involved with for 25 years.

The rest I've learned from parenting my own DS11, which really opened my eyes!

My husband has teased me for year that I will someday start my own religion - but I don't think he's being entirely complimentary....

Sorry about the 'no money for art lessons' thing - but do go to the library and spend time looking for 'how to draw books' and peek around church or your neighborhood for someone who could be an art mentor. I'd even bet that there are YouTubes about how to draw! What a world!

Anyway I'm hoping the Kindy trial works well, and that the OT eval tells you what you need to know. I believe that our 2e and spiky profile kids (and adults) have within them some of the most amazing contributions to the future, as they see the world so individually! I believe that both of your DDs have their own special work to do in this life. Enjoy the role you get to play with them!

And do hang out here, and keep us updated. I'd love to support you to support you 2E kids at work as well as your parenting.

Love and More Love,
Grinity