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    #89235 - 11/09/10 11:10 AM Re: Coping vs love of learning [Re: master of none]
    AlexsMom Offline
    Member

    Registered: 06/01/10
    Posts: 741
    Yes, what kcab said.

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    #89236 - 11/09/10 11:13 AM Re: Coping vs love of learning [Re: master of none]
    susandj Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/29/09
    Posts: 92
    I think this teacher sounds like a nightmare, if this is really the way your daughter perceives her. Maybe she doesn't mean to come across this way, but it certainly seems like she doesn't particularly care for gifted kids. A strange choice to teach an accelerated class, imo.

    As for teaching your daughter to put up with bad teachers, I would hope that wouldn't be necessary to teach them to be so cynical at such a young age. It doesn't surprise me in the least that your daughter cares so very much about what the teacher thinks: I'm sure she is a perfetionist, so if her teacher isn't caring of her, I imagine it makes her feel like there's something that she is doing wrong. Terrible to make her feel that way. It doesn't sound as though there is anything wrong with your daughter, just with the teacher.

    As for the fact that you had to push for the grade skip, I don't think that should have any bearing at all on how you subsequently advocate for her. It sounds as though she should have been skipped; it doesn't sound like a maturity issue (except maybe on the part of th teacher), but if the teacher can't work with you, then I think you need to address the issue at a higher level.

    Good luck.

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    #89237 - 11/09/10 11:13 AM Re: Coping vs love of learning [Re: master of none]
    susandj Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/29/09
    Posts: 92
    And, by the way, what is so wrong about showing off your math prowess, especially when you do it privately for the teacher? Nobody gets on you for showing off how fast you are in gym class.

    This aggravates me.

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    #89240 - 11/09/10 11:32 AM Re: Coping vs love of learning [Re: susandj]
    Grinity Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/13/05
    Posts: 7207
    Loc: Connecticut
    Originally Posted By: susandj
    Great response, Grinity.

    I would say, however, re: your #5 step, that NO child should ever be marked off simply because they are using material that "hasn't been taught yet", if it is in fact correct, and they have followed the instructions for the work.


    I agree with you about the 'should' part. BUT we don't live in a perfect world. So I wanted to grant permission to fight for our own individual students and not send us off tilting at every windmill in the valley. There are too many of them!

    Love and More Love,
    Grinity
    _________________________
    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com

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    #89243 - 11/09/10 11:41 AM Re: Coping vs love of learning [Re: AlexsMom]
    Grinity Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/13/05
    Posts: 7207
    Loc: Connecticut
    Originally Posted By: AlexsMom
    Yes, what kcab said.

    My son cried for 20 minutes at age 9 about a wrong that I think was done to him 3 years previous in Math class.

    The class was working on perimiter for it's 6th week, and DS was telling me that he hated math. I sprang into action, and actually bought the handbook 'algebra to go' as part of my Public Relations for Math program. He was eating a snack and I was 'just skimming' through my new book. He peaked over my shoulder. There he saw a picture of a fraction that had a fraction in the denominator.

    He cried for 20 minutes. This was very unusal for him at the time - he was a big proponent of the 'boy code.' I was upset myself, and tried to figure out what he was talking about between his sobs.

    'She said you couldn't......cry......She said you couldn't.....cry'

    To make a long story short, apparently his 1st grade teacher told the class that one couldn't put a fraction in the denominator of a fraction. I'm guessing that this was in response to a question DS had proposed, because the other kids in there couldn't even grasp counting by 10. ((I found that shocking at the time))

    There is something about Math, particularly elemantary school Math that just seeems like it 'must' be black and white, right or wrong.

    Maybe homeschooling math or online math in the library during math time, or getting someone else to grade DD's tests?

    MON, This is a tough one. 8 is 8.

    Love and More Love,
    Grinity
    _________________________
    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com

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    #89246 - 11/09/10 12:13 PM Re: Coping vs love of learning [Re: Grinity]
    ColinsMum Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/19/08
    Posts: 1898
    Loc: Scotland
    I think several parents in this thread might enjoy
    Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality if you aren't already reading it. This alternative-universe HP was adopted by an Oxford professor and his wife, and grew up with a prodigious love of science and rationality in general, which he then applies to his Hogwarts experience. He is homeschooled partly because he bit a maths teacher when he was in third year (2nd grade to you). "She didn't know what a logarithm was!" Lots of fun.

    Some of our children might enjoy it too, but beware, some of it is not "suitable for children" - I remember a brief discussion of rape, for example, which I think I'll want to guide my DS through - and it's still being written, so who knows where it'll end up.



    _________________________
    Email: my username, followed by 2, at google's mail

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    #89258 - 11/09/10 02:27 PM Re: Coping vs love of learning [Re: ColinsMum]
    kcab Offline
    Member

    Registered: 10/02/07
    Posts: 1603
    Loc: Sparta, apparently
    Originally Posted By: ColinsMum
    I think several parents in this thread might enjoy
    Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality if you aren't already reading it. This alternative-universe HP was adopted by an Oxford professor and his wife, and grew up with a prodigious love of science and rationality in general, which he then applies to his Hogwarts experience. He is homeschooled partly because he bit a maths teacher when he was in third year (2nd grade to you). "She didn't know what a logarithm was!" Lots of fun.
    Aaaaaaaa....oh no, not back into HP fan fic.....I thought I broke that addiction..... cry It's evil you are, ColinsMum.

    MON - I think I've had that crying fit before, melodrama and all, once or twice.
    _________________________
    kcab

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    #89262 - 11/09/10 03:02 PM Re: Coping vs love of learning [Re: master of none]
    Grinity Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/13/05
    Posts: 7207
    Loc: Connecticut
    Originally Posted By: master of none
    I guess DD is learning something: If it matters to her, she better take matters into her own hands because nobody else will.

    ((Hugs MON))
    You'll have a few more chances to stand up for her ((pat, pat))
    We love you - even if you cry for 20 minutes!

    It may be that the whole thing was a misunderstanding in the first place.
    Grinity
    _________________________
    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com

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    #89276 - 11/09/10 07:10 PM Re: Coping vs love of learning [Re: master of none]
    mnmom23 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/11/09
    Posts: 701
    Originally Posted By: master of none
    But, I will try to be more sensitive to dd. I'm just not sure what the heck is going through her mind. It's like it hurts her down to the core, and I just don't understand why. So what if the teacher doesn't agree with you? Maybe someone can enlighten me on that?


    Imagine being told that you need to speak up and do so loudly. And then when you try, you're yelled at for what you've said. And then imagine it happening every day. It's a no-win situation. It's learned helplessness.

    Your DD is told to participate and to do so loudly enough that people can hear her, and to do it confidently. So your DD participates and gets fussed at because it's not loud enough. And then your DD tries again by doing her work well and confidently and "loudly" (does it in a way that the teacher hasn't yet taught). And she gets fussed at again. Every time she tries she gets shot down. She probably feels like she can never do anything right. She's powerless to make the teacher happy. I'd guess she's feeling helpless and hopeless. And, she doesn't have the perspective -- at 8 -- to see that if she can just persevere through this year with this teacher she will have learned many lessons that will help her in life.

    Probably melodramatic, but I've had many situations growing up where I felt like people weren't listening to me or giving me respect because they didn't believe that I knew what I was talking about when I really did (because I was younger or less experienced or whatever). It's really frustrating when you know that you're right about something (like your DD is right about math) and you're not being listened to. In fact, I still have recurring nightmares where I know I'm right about something but no one is listening to me.

    So, anyway, I agree with the need for your DD to follow the instructions to the letter, but if she has and she's solved the problem correctly with more advanced math, I'd stand up for her by at least asking the teacher to talk with you and explain why she's saying things are wrong. It's a shame, but I bet the teacher would give you more respect than she gives your DD.
    _________________________
    She thought she could, so she did.

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    #89277 - 11/09/10 07:13 PM Re: Coping vs love of learning [Re: master of none]
    mnmom23 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/11/09
    Posts: 701
    Guess I should have read through all the posts before I made a reply! blush Good for your DD for advocating for herself!


    Edited by mnmom23 (11/09/10 07:20 PM)
    _________________________
    She thought she could, so she did.

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