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    Joined: Jun 2009
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    DD8 has been having issues in school since the beginning. One of her main issues has been anxiety. We have taken her to psychologist in the past for help, however she is not currently see anyone.

    In 1st grade her teacher questioned if she should have been held back because of her anxiousness and because "she is so little" (Yes, she actually said that can you believe it? She is petite for her age) She was also in Title one and being tutored for reading. She got all A's and in the summer after 1st was tested and placed into the gifted program.

    She has always had issues with writing and spelling. Her handwriting is very sloppy and her spelling is horrible.
    She is in 4th grade this year. I have tried to talk to her teachers for the past 3 years about her writing and spelling without any luck.
    I just met with her teacher this year and it seems I may finally have someone on my side! Her teacher agrees that her spelling and her writing are not where they should be. Last year on one of the standardized spelling tests she tested in the 50% for her class 1/2 of which were inclusion kids who have learning disabilities. She has problems with her sequencing when she writes often getting things out of order. If she is supposed to write a story using her 10 spelling words her story will be 3 pages long (as opposed to all the other kids 1 page) but it is very hard to read because it is 1)messy 2)tons of misspelled words 3)out of order

    Here are some of her issues:
    -Often misspells words she already knows. Example: "ower" instead of "our" when I point those words out she just gets an embarrassed look on her face and fixes it.
    -When writing a word multiple times in a paragraph she will spell it multiple ways.
    -Hates reading (this really bothers me) however can read at her grade level. She has never been in the top reading group in her class.
    -Has problems tying her shoes...just this year she has finally been able to tie them however it still takes her a long time and they always come undone
    -Has problems organizing herself. She will start one task (like going upstairs to brush her teeth) and get distracted along the way
    -One of the sentences I find myself most saying to her is "What are you SUPPOSED to be doing right now?"
    -Always has had problems sleeping thru the night.
    -Seems like her physical abilities do not match up with her mental ones. She has often gotten frustrated cause she has this grand idea to create something and can't make it happen.
    -Complains of being bored in school

    Strengths:
    -VERY creative! Once she gets it into her head to make something (craft) she can spend hours on it.
    -Very verbal. Talks like an adult sometimes
    -Loves to make up stories just can't get the story in her head out on paper very well and would prefer it if she had a secretary lol
    -Perfectionist and a very well behaved student.


    Although she is doing well overall in school her work isn't really very advanced in any subject. I just have this feeling in my gut that something is not right. I am worried cause she
    seems to be starting to give up on herself as far as handwriting and spelling.."Oh well I am just a bad speller"

    Does anyone have any ideas?

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    Originally Posted by sajechma
    -Loves to make up stories just can't get the story in her head out on paper very well and would prefer it if she had a secretary lol


    Not a secretary, but the next best thing: Dragon II Naturally speaking software!!!

    There are a lot of things you mentioned that others are better qualified to speak to but this jumps out at me as a simple way to reduce some of her frustration and let her feel good about accomplishing something.

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    Some of the things you describe sound very similar to my DD8 who has been diagnosed as highly gifted with dyslexia and dysgraphia. You may want to check out this article on "stealth dyslexia" and see if it fits. http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10435.aspx

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    I just read the article Knute and just have to say "Wow"! So much of that sounds like my daughter.
    She tends to skip words when reading out loud...
    She rarely gets a 100 on a math test because there is some simple mistake on the test that she obviously knows the answer to when asked.
    Poor eye/hand coordination would explain why she gets frustrated when trying to create something and just can't get her hands to cooperate. She is in no way athletic and avoids sports because she knows she can't do what the other kids do and doesn't want to embarrass herself.

    Please cross your fingers that the school psychologist responds to my meeting request! According to the teacher it may be hard getting the school district to do anything since she is gifted and her grades are good. We have to prove that her problems are in some way hindering her education.

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    Originally Posted by sajechma
    Please cross your fingers that the school psychologist responds to my meeting request! According to the teacher it may be hard getting the school district to do anything since she is gifted and her grades are good. We have to prove that her problems are in some way hindering her education.


    I completely understand. It's frustrating to understand the problem but not get any help from the school because your kid is at or above grade level. We have gone back and forth with the school about this. We have managed to get DD8 a 504 plan that allows her extra time for writing on tests and allows her to keyboard. DD8 still is pretty slow on the keyboard so she hasn't started to use it very much. Our school curriculum includes keyboarding later this year (third grade). If she still hasn't mastered it by the end of this year, I may look at typing lessons over the summer.

    I have found it helpful to share articles re stealth dyslexia with my daughter's teachers at the beginning of the year so they don't just think that she is lazy or careless. Even then, her teacher pulls her hair out when dealing with DD's spelling -- DD can learn it for the test but nothing seems to transfer to her writing. Unfortunately, we may have to wait until she bombs the writing portion of our state testing before we can get extra help from school. Until then, I keep working with her current teacher and support her as best I can at home.

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    So even though she has a diagnosis the school won't help with it anymore then allowing her extra time and a keyboard? You are scaring me.
    Ya know what is funny I just realized that I gave the wrong age for her LOL! What kinda mom am I? She is 9 and doesn't really keyboard all that well either.

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    9 is a great age to learn to keyboard, if her hands are large enough. I am a terrible speller, and very creative and 'dreamy.' At our house when DS's doctor said that his ADD probably runs in the family, DH raised his eyebrows at me in a very pointed way. I was a terrific reader, and everyone told my parents not to worry about the spelling because I would pick it up from reading...eventually! That didn't happen. Lucky for me, I was sent to typing class the summer before high school, which was thought to be crazy-young back then, and I learned to type.

    Wow did typing set me free. Even my tangled up brain seemed to be more amenable to staying on task if I could get the words out fast enough. I was suprised to discover that there was more to writing than spelling and grammer! (Read 6+1 writing traits to see what else is there - she may as well develop her strenths.) My parents were very careful to steer me to a job with a minimum of writing and lots to keep me busy.

    I'd also recommend an OT eval, your insurance may pay for it. I was an unathletic child, and it is painful. A little OT can go a long way.

    My teachers certianly didn't get how I could be 'so smart' in some ways and 'so dumb' in others, and many of them called me lazy. What I found out about myself is that if I can find something to love about a topic, then I can use a superhuman level of strength to overcome my bottlenecks. So try to teach your daughter to brainstorm topics when she starts to write a paper for school to be sure that this subject-love is on her side. Writing in first person from weird subjects, like a drop of water, was one of my favorites.

    Since she has a great imagination, you and she might pretend that for every grammer error she finds a starving person will be given food for a day, or that there is $100 prize, or a lost bunny will find their mommy - whatever works for her.

    Shoe tying for me was a great trial. I still don't know the '1 ear' method, but am ok with the 2 ear method (square knot) done twice. Also - New Balance makes wavey laces that are less likely to unravel. Lots of times adults had to show me a 'second option' way and that helped a lot. I couldn't memorize lots of steps, but did fine with something that 'make sense.' She may be more of a 'bird's eye' thinker than a 'step by step' thinker.

    I think it's great that she is writing 3 page stories with the spelling words - I'll bet they are quite interesting. Once she starts to type you'll be able to read them and see. My poor mom used to drill me on the week's spelling words, and I'd barely make any progress - finally learning one part of the word, only to mispell a part I used to get right. Also, some of my friends can write down a word to see if it is right, and that never works for me. "model" and "modle" both look terribly wrong to me. I never tried gluing sand to words and touching them with my fingers, but that's my next plan for the next time I go on a 'I WILL learn to spell' binge.

    Try listening to your DD talk and see if she tends to refer to 'that looks right' or 'that sounds right' or 'that feels right' to me. Apparently we can help people feel safe and loved if we match their language this way. Perhaps it's also easier to provide tutoring if you match the sense language - worth a try anyway.

    I stay organized with big lists with fancy fonts and colors that I print off on the computer. This might help with organizational skill. Alternative is to write on her hand what she is supposed to do next. I'll bet she can come up with a cute acronym for many of her routines. I rename everything so it's easier to stick in my brain. Basically my working memory is my bottle neck, so I have to get everything into long term storage (rename or cute acronym) or do it right away. Otherwise I will forget it. My new favorite organizing book is 'Making it all work' by David Allen. See if your daughter is willing to read it and turn it into a giant craft project.

    LoL about the wrong ages - my son was big for his age, and I was always making the opposite mistake. At 14 he has finally grown into his age - at 6 feet tall.

    Anyway - with all this, I work a great career, run a small family of three plus dog, and have lots of great friends who keep me on time, and a happy life. I can't guarentee this for your DD, but it is certianly possible!

    Love and More Love,
    Grinity



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    Thanks for all the suggestions Grinity. I know when DH and I were reading about ADD he started laughing and pointing at me...can anyone say "hyperfocus!" I decorate cakes for a side hobby/job and just had my first wedding cake. I spent 12 hrs icing it cause it was a 3 tiered square and the corners were not perfect! Not a good job for a perfectionist!

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    Originally Posted by sajechma
    So even though she has a diagnosis the school won't help with it anymore then allowing her extra time and a keyboard? You are scaring me.
    Ya know what is funny I just realized that I gave the wrong age for her LOL! What kinda mom am I? She is 9 and doesn't really keyboard all that well either.


    I wish that I had a simple answer to this. I realized that the school was not teaching DD how to read. Between K and 1st, I taught her to read and have kept supplementing her instruction. Right now her reading seems to be in a good place. I keep track of her reading by continuing to require her to read out loud to me and doing some "guided oral reading" on more challenging books. The school gave me phonics exercises to do with her at home but her teacher agreed with me that DD was beyond the exercises. We also had her evaluated by Lindamood Bell as recommended by the psych who did DD's testing. LMB felt it was questionable whether their program would help DD.

    The school did a vision assessment and concluded that she had tracking issues. We privately paid for vision therapy that seems to have been beneficial (fewer headaches, less exhaustion when reading). DD has started reading a lot more voluntarily since we did VT. Prior to VT she would never sit down and read a book unless I demanded it.

    The school did a handwriting evaluation and concluded that she never makes her letters the same way twice. The OT thought that she had never formed a mental template so there is nothing automatic about it. At the same time, the OT would not qualify her for services because her handwriting was not sufficiently impaired.

    Getting a 504 was difficult because the school psych did not consider DD to be disabled (a requirement for a 504). Luckily, her 2nd grade teacher supported me on getting the 504 designation. I've read that DD should be able to qualify for an IEP based on her writing impairment. I just haven't tried to wage that battle yet. If/when I get to that point, I will need to go beyond the building level because I don't think that the current administration will budge on this issue. Fortunately, DD has a great teacher this year who has dealt with kids like DD in the past. She is trying some different things with DD and is great at encouraging DD.

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    You spoke of vision therapy and she told me tonight that reading makes her feel sick....
    She never reads unless forced and then she tries to pick age inappropriate books (Way too young) even though she tests at a normal 4th grade level in school.
    My DD already has an IEP/GIEP. When I was trying last year to get help they did discover she has a mild lisp (very mild) so they changed her plain ol' GIEP (gifted IEP) to an IEP that covered both speech and gifted. I guess I just figured if I could get them to test her and find out what her other issue is they would just add it in and address it. Maybe I am being a little too optimistic.
    Her teacher does seem helpful this year although I think she tried to warn me that it may be difficult to prove she needs support since her grades are mostly all A's.


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